Thursday, June 30, 2011

You Ask, I Answer, Take 6

Today's You Ask, I Answer Question is from Jenny in Australia, a long-time reader of the blog.  She asked:

Overseas travel - what inspired you the most - sights, sounds, smells?

Yikes!  Another good question!

My first overseas trip happened when I was just a baby.  My parents led a short term summer team to Peru in 1984, and took me, their blond haired, blue-eyed baby with them to Latin America, where I celebrated my first birthday.  I'm no longer either blond haired or blue eyed (that had all changed by my third birthday to my current light brown hair and hazel eyes), and I don't have memories of that trip particularly, but to this day I have a deep love of the Spanish language and Latin culture, and I maintain that it is from having my unconscious immersed in it at such a young age.

I've traveled extensively in the United States and Canada (I've visited about 27 of the 50 states, and all 10 Canadian provinces), but my first non North American trip happened in my early twenties, just after graduating from university.  I joined a team of young adults and teenagers and traveled by bus from my hometown to Juarez, Mexico.  We worked on a building project in a colonia in Juarez, and did a bit of outreach in the colonia as well.  The moments I remember most from that trip are incredibly varied.  I remember being in a stuffy room, late into the evening, playing with small children, using my limited Spanish to help them with a craft, asking their names, ages, and what color paper pieces they wanted to use.  I remember the sign in the bathroom of the school we were staying in, reminding us that absolutely NO toilet paper should be flushed down the toilet.  I remember being absolutely coated, head to toe, in sand and dirt, after days spent shoveling sand and mixing concrete in a desert on the edge of a dump of sorts, in the midst of windstorms.  And I remember wandering through the market on our last day, choosing souvenirs, and then simply sitting with a few good friends, eating fabulous chips and salsa (is there anything so tasty as Mexican food?), soaking in the color, the culture, the language, and thinking that I could happily spend the remainder of my life absorbing and experiencing the beauty of other cultures.

My next overseas trip was three years ago, to Malta, Rome, and London.  It was a trip I'd dreamed about, having studied European history in university, and was full of unexpected things.  From that trip I'll never forget touring the Maltese President's winter palace (thanks to a connection with someone who was part of the Presidential guard), eating pastizzi at the city gates of Valletta and rabbit stew (another Maltese delicacy) at the home of a friend (incidentally, the pastizzi, both the pea version and the ricotta version, I loved, the rabbit stew, well, it was mostly just memorable!).  I remember the beauty of the Mediterranean, and visiting the ruins of some of the oldest freestanding temples in the world.  I'll never forget the majesty of St. Peter's Basilica in Rome, and taking part in an Ash Wednesday mass there.  I'll never forget the view from the top of the Basilica, looking down over the square, and the private Vatican gardens.  I'll never forget the Sistine Chapel, and simply soaking in the atmosphere of a place so truly ancient, a place full of beauty and history.  And OH. MY. GOODNESS.  You haven't had hot chocolate until you've had the stuff they serve in the little piazza cafes in Rome!  It's thick and rich, and topped with whipped cream if you want it, and truly amazing.  I don't drink hot chocolate very much in North America, but in Rome, it was divine! From London, where we only had a few days, I'll not forget the simplest of things, sitting on the steps of the British Museum, alone with my thoughts and journal for the first time in weeks as I waited for a friend, taking time to think and pray and write.

Just writing all of this has ignited the travel bug again!  That feeling from the market cafe in Mexico persists for me - I could happily spend much of the rest of my life traveling and absorbing the beauty of culture.  Cultural differences fascinate me - I'm continually aware of them, whether I'm simply in Chinatown here in Calgary, traveling in the United States, or on a different continent entirely.  The diversity and richness of culture and language speaks deeply to my heart and moves me to pray, to write, to read, to think and to create in ways that very few other things can.

Okay!  So, there's another answer!  Thanks for the great question, Jenny!  Are there more specific questions I can answer?  About this topic or anything else?  Leave them in the comments or send me an email (I've recently updated my profile so that there is an email address there again!).  I'll add them to my list!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 317

Today's Daily 5:
  1. a sweet organic banana for breakfast
  2. marking a whole bunch of nagging tasks off of my to do list
  3. the chance to be out in the sun
  4. jambalaya for supper
  5. chocolate and a quiet evening at home

Whimsical Wednesday, June 29, 2011

It's time for another dose of Whimsical Wednesday.  Here are some of the images that inspired me this week:


Source: flickr.com via Lisa on Pinterest


Source: None via Lisa on Pinterest






Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 316

Today's Daily 5:
  1. accomplishing a number of errands
  2. doing a bit of bus reading
  3. some really tasty Greek take-out for dinner
  4. mango juice, through a straw
  5. a few good deals for jewelry at a favorite store

You Ask, I Answer, Take 5

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Christianne again.  She asked:

What might we not know about you if we only know you through the internet?

I had a harm time coming up with an answer to this question, so I posed it first to a dear friend that I met via this blog, and then eventually in person.  I thought she might be the most qualified to comment on this topic, having been one of the only people who has encountered me first through the internet, and then eventually in "real life".

Her answer made me laugh - she didn't have a lot to say, but told me with a smile that I say "process" wrong.  My pronunciation of this word was a source of much amusement for her during the time we spent together in person, and has come up occasionally ever since.  She commented that I have an accent.

That statement made me laugh harder since in Canada I'm accused of having an American accent due to my pronunciation of certain words, and when I'm in the United States, I'm told I sound Canadian.  Dual citizenship has clearly shaped more than just my passports!  My brothers regularly harass me for certain American sounding pronunciations, and apparently, I say "process" wrong for Americans!  I usually say it "praw-sess", though I mix it up at times with "pro-sess".  For the life of me, at this moment, I can't remember which one is the apparently "wrong way" to say it!  Feel free to chime in (from both sides of the border) on this point!

So, with that out of the way, here are a few other things you might not know about me if you only know me through the internet:
  • I'm short.  5'2"
  • I'm overly opinionated, but in person, unless I'm really comfortable with you, I'm probably going to be pretty cautious about what I say for a while.  This caution, mixed with an introverted nature means I've often been accused of either being shy or cold, or both.
  • I'm very, very pale.  And I don't seem to tan, ever.  I do burn very easily, and then it fades right on back to pasty.  Sunscreen is my friend.
  • I totally have texture issues when it comes to food - things like the belief that there should not be crunchy things in something soft (things like nuts in brownies or seeds in bread)
If any of you out there who know me in person and here on the internet have other things to add to this list, let me know!  But honestly, other than the superficial stuff, or a few deeply personal things, I think I live pretty openly in this space, and a lot of the things that are really important to me are things that you can find here.

Thanks for the question Christianne!  This was another fun one to answer!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 315

Today's Daily 5:
  1. an enjoyable day with my brother and cousin
  2. laughing as we experimented with the donut recipe - a first for all of us
  3. watching a few old episodes of The Big Bang Theory
  4. having time to bake cookies in between dough risings
  5. the taste of donuts we hadn't had since childhood.  we laughed all day as we contemplated how annoying it would be if we'd spent our whole day on this process and they turned out not to be as good as we remembered!  They didn't disappoint!  Here are a couple of pictures - one of a few in the process of deep frying, and another of a third of the finished product - we split the finished product three ways, since the three of us represent three households and had done about an even amount of the work.  (As a side note, they're weirdly buoyant in the hot oil, smell fantastic as they're cooking, and are totally fun to sort of prod and flip over when it's time to cook the second side.  Totally made me laugh.)

Donuts

You'll forgive me if I don't write a substantial post today.

I sort of have plans.

My brother and cousin and I are putting our combined kitchen talents together and tackling a family recipe that is the stuff of childhood legends.

Grandma's yeast donuts.

The plan is to make a double batch and then split it between three families.

A double batch should make 8-10 dozen donuts.  A lot, it would seem.

But only if you haven't tasted these little bits of heaven.

These deep fried delights that are an all day task thanks to the multiple times they have to rise and be punched down before they ever get immersed in hot oil.

But there is nothing quite like one of these, still warm, tossed in granulated sugar.

They literally melt in your mouth.

The three of us have been planning this day for well over a month, looking forward to it, and salivating.

One of the first things my dad asked when they returned from holidays last week was if we'd made donuts yet, wanting to make sure he hadn't missed out.

They are the stuff of family legends, and today we're going to attempt to scale the legendary peak.  So I can't write, I'm busy determining if it's a "soft dough" and mixing yeast, and punching down dough that's risen, and laughing with my brother and cousin, and salivating.  It's a good way to spend the day, and it will end with pastry.  Pastry that makes every other donut pale and worthless in comparison.  They're just THAT good.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 314

Today's Daily 5:
  1. cute and comfy new sandals
  2. staying up late into the night reading, working to finish a book
  3. readers thumb (I seriously have a slightly injured thumb on my left hand from holding up heavy books reading every day)
  4. scented hand cream
  5. pancakes made from scratch
  6. a morning at home alone
  7. fresh blueberries to munch on
  8. a restful afternoon
  9. laughing with family
  10. thankful that another reminder of the fragility of life didn't end in death today

A Journey Made on Holy Ground

A few weeks back I finished another re-read of Robert Benson's "Between the Dreaming and the Coming True".  This memoir of brokenness, mental illness and faith has become one of my favorite reads, and Benson has rapidly become one of a few occupants of my list of author's whose books have always challenged, stirred and inspired me to pursue faith and prayer in new and deeper ways.  I wanted to share the last few paragraphs of this book, since I find them so beautiful:

The journey between the dreaming and the coming true is a journey made on holy ground.  It is a journey made through silence and longing where, if we will listen, we can hear the whisper of the Dreamer echoing deep within us, calling us to become what the Dreamer sees when our names were first whispered: saints who believe in and pay attention for and recognize the Voice; saints who live our lives in joy and confidence and hope rather than judgment and anxiety and desperation; saints whose hours and days and lives are spent carrying people to the Christ, lending each other a hand when one of us has fallen, slipping along the river that brings joy to the heart of God, carrying God's peace and love and presence and life to those we meet along the way.

This is what we have been sent here to do.  And we will.  The Dreamer's dreams will always come true.
(Benson, 144)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 313

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Another morning where I could allow myself to fall back asleep after waking painfully early and catch a bit of extra rest
  2. discovering that expected company was not in fact coming
  3. finishing the fairly large task of weeding the entire garden (today I worked for several hours while listening to an audio book.  it was a lovely solitary way to spend the afternoon)
  4. a hot shower after hours of cleaning and gardening, and the feeling of lovely lavender scented body butter on dry tired skin
  5. crawling into a bed with freshly washed sheets, smelling of fabric softener, and wearing freshly washed pajamas smelling the same

Quiet

Today is a day for quiet.

For cleaning, and for prayer.

For lifting some deep needs I've been made aware of to Jesus.

For thinking, and maybe journaling.

For pondering patterns.

For celebrating the joyful moments as well.

For gardening if it doesn't rain, and reading if it does.

But mostly for cleaning, and for praying.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 312

Y'all, this is one of those days where making this list is a conscious and harder activity.  It's been a bit of a lethargic day, I haven't been feeling great and spent a lot of the day crashed on the couch.  I totally forgot about keeping a list, and now I'm looking back on the day and figuring out what to list...

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Licorice nibs (red, of course - black licorice is GROSS!)
  2. strawberries and whipped cream
  3. being able to fall back asleep after being up for a while this morning, when I wasn't feeling great
  4. laughing at a new reality television program I watched
  5. curling up under piles of blankets to doze, read, or watch television, and generally not having to move.

Reverb 11 - June

The June Reverb Prompt is:

What can you let yourself off the hook for?


Hmm... An interesting question to ask half-way through the year.


I think the answer for me is "expectations."


In my year of "heal", I've already talked about the fact that it looks nothing like what I expected.  I think it may be a simpler second half of the year if I release myself from my own expectations and timeline.  If I can simply take the days as they come.  If I can live more peacefully within that space.

I think the other half of that is choosing to release myself from expectations of others - whether they're real, or simply something I perceive and take on myself.  To choose to live freely in my own body, meeting my needs and caring for and loving myself.  To be okay with the things that make me different - the things that make me uniquely me.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 311

Today's Daily 5:
  1. flowy favorite scarf
  2. string cheese from Wisconsin
  3. the laughter of a child, and the moment he seeks me out at house church each week, grins at me mischievously as he climbs into my lap, looks again, and then swipes at my glasses, grabbing them.  once I've rescued them, he usually tries for the nose ring, finding it fascinating that there is a sparkly jewel in my right nostril.  tonight he tried for my earrings too.  So, I held and cuddled him as I carefully batted his hands away from tugging my jewelry out of the holes in my body it belongs in, and carried on with the conversation, enjoying his little body in my lap.
  4. Chinese take out
  5. a day with a few moments of self-care, and one that left me with much to ponder

Thursday, June 23, 2011

You Ask, I Answer, Take 4

That's right folks, it's time for another installment of You Ask, I Answer.  Today's question comes from Johanna again.  She asks:

Do you think it is important to be baptized in the Holy Spirit after you have given your life to Christ?

I'll be honest with you, and say that my answer is "I don't know."

My faith journey looks something like this:
  • Raised in a fairly conservative evangelical culture, as a pastor's kid
  • experienced a lot of good and a lot of bad that comes with Christianity as a result of being a pastor's kid
  • introduced early to attack Christianity, at the age of 10, when the church dad was pastoring went through a brutal split, and he resigned and planted the church that he still pastors today
  • struggled a lot with the feelings of pressure that came with being a pastor's kid
  • transitioned into public school for jr. high after being homeschooled, and spent some pretty brutal years dealing with vicious girls in the youth group
  • attended a Catholic high school, not sure at this point if I even believe in God, but compelled to defend my protestant beliefs in a myriad of intellectual lunchtime discussions, while really wanting nothing more than to escape faith and it's burdens
  • got involved with Young Life in 12th grade - met a great friend in the woman who was my leader and felt seen and cared for for who I was and my own walk with God and not who my dad was and his role in the church for the first time in my life;  still totally wrestling with faith
  • just before my 18th birthday, I was baptized.  It wasn't so much that I had answers, as it was that in my own logical evaluation, it would be more of a problem to drop everything I'd believed for 18 years, than it would be to simply subscribe to it.
  • in the first years of University I got involved with a small church that was growing, mostly composed of students and twenty somethings and was exploring "Holy Spirit"
  • I met people there who had something I'd never seen before.  These people really "knew" Jesus.
  • I was struggling with severe depression, and also longing for this relationship that my new friends had with Jesus.  The combination led to some pretty rough years.
  • While studying in university, I began to be fascinated by liturgical traditions of the church, studying them as part of my specialization in European church history, particularly in the Reformation and post-reformation periods.
  • In my last year of university, sitting in a car, I encountered the Holy Spirit in a powerful, supernatural way, and my depression was healed.
  • My life entered new kinds of turmoil and upheaval as my journey with God took some more crazy twists and turns, including a variety of experiences with prayer, dreams and visions, and other interesting encounters with the spiritual realm and it has stayed that way ever since that moment of healing almost six years ago.
So, these days I guess you could categorize me as a liturgy loving, evangelical, charismatic with a soft spot for the mystical and anything to do with prayer.

What, you ask, does that have to do with the baptism of the Holy Spirit?

Well, it's like this - my experiences and personal journey and experiences have shaped my beliefs.  I don't believe that there is something special - some unique baptism of the Spirit, per say.  I believe that the Spirit is present with all of us.  That said, if what you mean by baptism of the Holy Spirit is a particular moment or encounter when the Spirit goes from being the more traditionally evangelical silent member of the trinity, at most recognized as our conscience, to being a living and active part of our relationship and interaction with God, then yes, I do pray that all those who know Jesus will also experience this baptism of the Spirit that He sent to us as counselor, guide and comforter.  However, I don't believe that this looks the same for everyone, or that it happens at a specific time or moment.  For me, it happened the day I was healed, and it was about being in a place where I was desperate enough to surrender.  For friends of mine, it's looked totally different.  But I do pray that everyone will somehow experience, in the way unique to their own hearts and relationships with the Lord, an active relationship with the Spirit.

Thoughts?  I'm not interested in a big theological debate, but I'd love to hear your thoughts (keep them civil please), or to know if this has stirred more questions for you.  Like I keep saying, this feature will be around for as long as the questions come in, and I'm willing to talk about just about any topic you want to bring up here.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 310

Today's Daily 5:
  1. 1 year 310 days of making these lists
  2. cherries
  3. finally having my laptop back to fully functional
  4. sitting in the sunshine, weeding my garden
  5. homemade burgers for dinner

Whimsical Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Welcome to the very first Whimsical Wednesday!  I was in need of a new sort of inspiration, and a place to share whimsy and the things that are creatively inspiring me, and this is the result.  Basically this is a place for anything I found inspiring or funny or worth checking out in a given week.  It'll likely be mostly visuals from pinterest, but may also include any links or articles or even videos that I've found over the previous week.  So, without further ado, here's this week's edition of Whimsical Wednesday.





Source: piccsy.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: buzzfeed.com via Lisa on Pinterest


Source: yfrog.com via Lisa on Pinterest



Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 309

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Sleeping relatively well last night
  2. chuckling over an overheard conversation in a store:  First lady, holding up a photo, "Look, it's the Leaning Tower of Pisa!"  Second lady, "Oh! In France!"
  3. walking in the sunshine
  4. dollar store shopping
  5. bookstore browsing (and a few deals in the clearance section!)
  6. Iced passion tea lemonade
  7. Macdonalds as a treat for dinner
  8. fresh raspberries
  9. accomplishing a bunch of much needed computer updates
  10. cleaning and purging

You Ask, I Answer, Take 3

Today's question comes from Christianne, who asked:

Are you a morning person, night owl, blend of the two, or something else entirely?

Well, it's 11:30 at night as I'm sitting down to get this post ready for posting, so I'm not sure if that gives the answer away?

By natural inclination, I'm absolutely a night owl.  My ideal schedule in the world would have me turning out my lights somewhere between midnight and two am, and not crawling out of bed or needing to be functional until eight to nine hours after I finally turned the lights out and fell asleep.

To be honest, decades of chronic insomnia has probably made me into the night owl that I am.  I figure, if you're not going to sleep, why just lay there?

I've never been a morning person.  If I'm working in a position where I need to be at work in the morning, I adjust my going to bed schedule accordingly, but my best work definitely happened in the later morning hours.  In fact, I'm so not a morning person that I'm not even a breakfast person! Unless we're talking about breakfast for supper, in which case I'm totally on board, unless you're serving me eggs.  (I have texture issues.  I'll eat eggs if they're scrambled or in omelet form, with enough other ingredients to disguise the fact that it's actually an egg.  But I digress...)

I would say that typically, if I'm on a student sleep schedule, or my ideal sleep schedule as described above, my best and most functional hours of the day probably start around 7 pm, or even later.  I was not a "write a term paper during the day kind of girl".  I was definitely (and am still) the kind of student who tended to start assignments sometime after supper and then work straight through the evening, with little breaks for food or whatever, until I finished it, usually sometime after midnight.  I'd give them a quick polish the next morning, and be off and running.

Lately, I've implemented a new bedtime routine on the advice of someone I trust, that is supposed to help ease my chronic insomnia.  It involves spending the final hour before turning my lights out with no screens - no cell phone, no television, no computer.  This is challenging for me, since I'm used to working online or watching television dramas while working on other projects until I'm ready to fall asleep, and then turning the lights out and beginning my nightly dance of dreaming, sleeping and waking.  Bedtime wasn't consistent or predictable.  Now my night owl ways (and my aversion to change) are being challenged as I try to predict when I'll want to go to bed.  As I try to cram that "one last thing" in before turning off the laptop or television or both, and going through my routine of quiet prayer and thinking and reading for that last hour of the day.  It's putting a kink in my night owl unpredictability, but if it actually makes a difference in my insomnia challenges, then I'll celebrate it, I suppose.

Thanks for the question, Christianne!

Keep them coming y'all.  I'm totally having fun answering these, and the directions they're taking are surprising even me, and I'm loving it!

What about all of you?  Morning person? Night owl?  Something totally different?

New Things in Bloggy Land

I've got a few new regular features that you can expect here on the blog.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays (starting last week, and continuing later this morning) you can expect regular installments of "You Ask, I Answer".  I'll keep doing them for as long as I have questions, so keep the questions coming!

On Wednesdays, I'm going to introduce a new feature that I'm going to call "Whimsical Wednesdays".  It'll be a collection of images and fun things from around the web that have caught my eye and provided creative inspiration.  Probably a lot of them will be from pinterest, since it's been a great source of creative visual inspiration for me lately.

And of course, you can continue to expect the usual unscheduled smattering of my ramblings, and the Daily 5 each night. 

Looking forward to interacting with all of you and hoping that you'll love these new features!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 308

Today's Daily 5:
  1. sleeping under the comforting weight of heavy blankets
  2. waking up this morning knowing I'd slept a bit better and longer than I had in a while
  3. getting a good deal on some products for my laptop that I needed
  4. resettling and unpacking
  5. lit candles all over my bedroom

Home again, home again

So, after two weeks off, I'm back at Grandma's tonight.

I got here in time to chat on the phone for a bit with a friend, and then watch The Bachelorette while I ate dinner and worked on unpacking and sorting belongings after being away for two weeks.

And now, now I'm cleaning, sorting and resting.

I put the closets that my grandma emptied a few weeks ago when the basement flooded back together, taking the time to sort through some of the items in them, and purge a few things.

I have candles lit all over the room, and I sprayed a good chunk of the carpet with a natural deodorizer and antibacterial spray that I picked up a while back.  I'm hoping the spray will help ease the smell that results when decades old carpet suddenly get flooded by nasty ground water.  The candles also help with the coldness inherent to basement living, especially in the summer.

Basements are colder in the summer.  In the winter, the whole house is cold, so the furnace kicks on regularly and makes the basement liveable.  In the summer, the upstairs, where the furnace sensors are located, is warm, so the furnace doesn't kick on to the same degree.  Basement living is definitely cold in the summer.

I'm puttering online, while trying to back up my laptop to a new external hard drive, and then waiting to do a few software upgrades as well.

I'm home again, whatever it is that means when one lives in a place where one only stays four days a week.

And, despite all the baggage that comes with it, I'm mostly glad to be here.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 307

Today's Daily 5:
  1. a very lazy morning, dozing and resting after several rough nights in a row
  2. tasty leftovers in the fridge for lunch
  3. the wonderful smell of fabric softener on clean sheets and towels
  4. a good evening with family, laughing and talking and catching up after being apart for a few weeks
  5. treats (my favorite string cheese from Wisconsin - the best string cheese in all the world, and mini Almond Joy bars) brought home by my parents

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 306

Today's Daily 5:
  1. back at yoga after a month off because of various health issues
  2. chicken fingers and french fries for lunch (comfort food, baby)
  3. first trip to a newly reopened farmers market and buying cupcakes
  4. hanging out with my sister-in-law L all afternoon/evening
  5. buying some cute sandals for summer

One Word 2011 - Halfway

Alece has reminded all of us that we are now half-way through the living of our 2011 One Words.

So, it's time for an update.

My 2011 One Word is "Heal".

It's a fascinating word, and it looks nothing like what I thought it might when the year began.

The first days of 2011 were a high.  I'd just made some pivotal relational decisions that were resulting in a profound freedom.  I'd been working on healing already, and was seeing progress.  I think I started 2011 assuming that heal was going to be a victory lap, rather than a journey or a battle.

I was wrong.

It's been a journey.  A long and hard one.  One that at times is probably more accurately described as a battle.

Healing has required humility.  A willingness to throw aside pride and admit how truly broken I've been.

It's required patience for a slow process instead of an instantaneous miracle.

It's required flexibility as changes have come, and new decisions have had to be made.

It hasn't looked anything like the victory lap that I thought it would be.

And yet, I'm seeing healing in new and deep and unexpected places.

Just in the last week, I've seen incredible glimpses of healing in my relationships with my brother and sister in law, and especially with my other brother.  If you had told me that the sort of conversation I had with my brother J early this week was possible, I wouldn't have believed you.  And yet, in a relationship that has been constantly marked by judgment, we had a conversation marked by grace.  The kind of conversation where I closed the door behind him as he left and simply stood there, stunned.

God is being faithful, in the places in which I'm being deliberate in seeking in healing, and in the places in which I least expected it, to work this word out in my life.  It doesn't look how I thought it might, and it has been hard, yet it has its own unique, painful, wonderful beauty and grace, and I'm so very thankful for that.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 305

Today's Daily 5:
  1. a day mostly without rain, a blessing given rain is in the forecast and I remain worried about returning to Grandma's and finding my space wet and flooded again
  2. a helpful person to talk with at the university
  3. a long chance to catch up via skype with my former roommate L.
  4. finding reasons to laugh with a friend, even one far away
  5. the smell of cookies baking in the oven
  6. news that friends welcomed a baby daughter into their lives early this morning
  7. day dreaming about travel
  8. smiling over the book "Positively Pooh" by A.A. Milne and Ernest H. Shepard
  9. watching the series finale of M*A*S*H* on my yearly trip through all 11 seasons
  10. a day that was mostly joyful, despite some painful challenges

Dancing King?

I couldn't not share this footage of one of the gorillas that I visit at the zoo doing a little bit of break dancing!


Her Morning Elegance

From what I know, this video has been out for quite a while, but I just saw it for the first time the other day and thought it so creative that I simply had to share it.  I've also included a short "the making of" video, since I found it very interesting as well.





Thursday, June 16, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 304

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Staying curled up and cozy under blankets on a cold, rainy day
  2. naps on the couch
  3. fresh cherries
  4. laughing and sharing life with friends
  5. M*A*S*H* reruns on DVD

You Ask, I Answer, Take 2

It's time for the second installment of "You Ask, I Answer."  You can expect these posts to show up on Tuesdays and Thursdays for as long as I have questions to answer, so keep them coming!  I'm totally having fun reading the list of questions and pondering my answers to them.  I think you're going to learn all sorts of things that you never knew about me!

Today's installment comes from Johanna in Germany, who asked:

What job (profession) did you want to have (when you are grown up) when you were a child?

I had to think hard about answering this one, Johanna!

I wasn't one of those kids who dreamt a lot about reality!  I really didn't spend much time thinking about what I'd be when I grew up.  I tended to live in imaginary worlds that I had created and fill the shoes of characters I created, and I didn't often think about what the actual future would be like!

At various times I wanted to be a doctor, a nurse, the owner/trainer on a huge equestrian farm, a writer, an olympic synchronized swimmer, a counselor, and a teacher.

The biggest ones, and the characters that tended to show up in all of my imaginary worlds were always medical.

A few of those made the actual careers list.

When I started university for the first time, and began my history degree, I was convinced that I would graduate with my bachelor's degree in history, and then pursue a teaching degree (in Alberta you take a two year after degree to become a teacher) and spend my life teaching high school social studies.  I considered other options, but after enrolling in a highly academic high school that reinforced that I excelled easily at subjects like English literature and history, and less easily in sciences, I was convinced that I wasn't a "sciency" person, so my childhood fascination with all things medical (which, by the way continued in my long term love of pretty much ALL medical television dramas and comedies) was set aside in favor of history.

At some point, midway through that first degree I realized that I really don't enjoy teaching in a large group setting, and that teaching wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I decided (since I'd already invested so much time and money, and wasn't sure which direction I would ultimately go) to finish up the degree in history, and while it wasn't the most practical degree, I haven't regretted it.  I loved the time I spent studying, particularly since I focused on church history, and it very much informed my faith and spirituality.

These days, after three years of working for a small insurance company, losing my job, and all the bumps and bends in the road that the last year has held, I'm pursuing schooling again, and this time I'm going back to that childhood dream and working on getting accepted into a nursing program.  I also still dream of one day getting a masters degree in counseling, simply to round out my ability to help people on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 303

Today's Daily 5:
  1. marking a number of nagging tasks off my list
  2. finishing up the sewing projects left over from yesterday
  3. chuckling over some escapist television (season premiere of Toddlers and Tiaras anyone? and MaKenzie?  Seriously cracks me up!)
  4. fresh cherries
  5. time alone, and quiet, to sit and rest and write

An Introvert Operator's Manual

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 302

Today's Daily 5:
  1. fresh banana bread
  2. time spent with a dear friend and her daughter
  3. grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup
  4. the chance to pray with a dear friend
  5. successfully completing my first sewing project - turns out the fabric I got such a deal on yesterday will make not just two skirts, but four, and a dress for my friend's baby daughter!  $15 for all of that is pretty good, I thought.  I made two skirts today - one out of each fabric, and will sew the other two in the next day or two, and the baby dress the next time we're together.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 1

This is it folks, the newest blog feature, named by Christianne, when my brain failed completely last night.  The first question is here, and you'll find new answers sporadically over the next days, weeks, and months.  AND, I'm counting on you all to keep me supplied with questions, so if you have a follow-up to one of these answers, or something totally new entirely, you can either leave it in the comments of one of these posts, OR you can email it to me, using the email address in my profile.

So, the first question to be answered, was the first one that was left, on the original post I put up, asking for your questions.

The question comes from Ian, who wrote:

Grey's Anatomy? really? haven't you seen stuff like The Mentalist? Dr. Who? i've got to think that you'll agree with my wife and say that Patrick Jane is just so dreamy.

Ian, I laughed so hard when I read this question!  So hard!

Yes, Grey's Anatomy, really!  But it's because I've been in love with the characters of Meredith and Christina, and watched and many times deeply related to their emotional development over seven seasons.  In many ways, through the years, my own journey of growth and healing has paralleled Meredith's in particular, and God has met me very uniquely in that, revealing things to me about myself, and my heart and mind and relationships.  It's also because I love the monologues that start and end the show each week, and because God has also very often spoken to me through the truths of those monologues.

That said, I've seen The Mentalist for the first time just recently, and yes, your wife is right, Patrick Jane is definitely nice to look at!  I'm not huge into crime dramas, but I have enjoyed that one for it's quirkyness and characters. 

As for Dr. Who, can't say I've ever seen it... maybe I'll have to check it out sometime!

Spanish Sewing

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with A, and baby N.

A. is from South America, has been a good friend for probably close to ten years now, and we had a great time together, laughing and catching up on the last month or so of each others lives, talking about where God is working, and enjoying the chance to sit and eat together.

I'd asked her a while ago if she would teach me to sew, since her mom is a fashion designer and A has been sewing since she was a really small child.  I frequently compliment her on a piece of clothing she's wearing and she'll say, "oh, I made it!"  In the past we've laughed over the fact that because she learned to sew while still living in South America, she doesn't know the English terms for many sewing implements, and only knows them by their Spanish names!  We talked about how if she taught me to sew, she'd have to help me with my quest to learn Spanish at the same time.

Today we talked about it again, and ended up in a fabric shop.  I hit a sale, and bought fabric and thread to make two simple skirts under A's direction for only $15!

We then contemplated when we'd get together to sew, and she decided she'd simply return today!

We've long taken time to pray together when we gather, so this afternoon we're going to cuddle baby N, and spend time sewing in Spanish and praying in English!  I'm quite looking forward to it!  So few of the friends that I can share intimate times of prayer, and truly enjoy sharing life with live locally, so to get time with a friend like A, and her daughter two days in a row, and to get to learn a bit of a new language and a new skill, and spend time talking together with Jesus is truly a blessing for me, and one I can't wait to enjoy!

(For those of you who are regulars, watch this space later this morning for the first installment of me answering your questions!)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 301

Today's Daily 5:
  1. an unexpected and grace-filled late night conversation last night
  2. laughing over a Garfield cartoon
  3. catching and killing the mosquito that somehow got into my bedroom BEFORE I feel asleep and got eaten by it
  4. a chuckle over this blog post
  5. a morning walk, and the corner store having the item I needed to finish baking
  6. the smell of banana bread baking, as it fills the house
  7. baby N's giggles
  8. recognizing healing
  9. encouraging conversation
  10. the beginning of an impromptu project
  11. the joy that I find in watching friends and family eat and enjoy something I've prepared
  12. "redemption comes in strange places, small spaces"
  13. laughing over kid's Sunday school songs stuck in my head ("Life without Jesus is like a donut, like a donut, like a donut.  Life without Jesus is like a donut, 'cause there's a hole in the middle of your heart."  "Hip hip hip hippopotamus, hip hip hooray God made all of us..." "Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry..."  "I've got a river of life flowing out of me, makes the lame to walk and the blind to see..." and any number of Psalty and/or GT and the Halo Express tunes were floating through my head)
  14. jello
  15. the blessing of online friends

I Need Your Help

Okay everyone, either tomorrow or Wednesday I'm planning to start posting answers to some of the questions you left for me.  But, here's the problem.  I need a fun name for this series.  And I'm drawing a blank.  So, I need some help. 

What should we call it?

Reasons This is Going to be a Good Monday

I woke up from some kind of rough dreams this morning, and I'm not feeling great.  So, I'm lying here reminding myself of the lovely things I have to look forward to today:
  • Because three hours from now, my dear friend A, and her daughter N are coming to hang out with me for the afternoon
  • Because it's Bachelorette day
  • Because I have another full week of housesitting ahead of me
  • Because there is leftover Banana cream pie in the fridge
  • Because the weather forecast for the day is fairly warm and mostly sunny
  • Because I'm going to make jello
  • and banana bread
  • and maybe cookies
  • Because there is chocolate in the world
  • and some of my favorite television shows are available on DVD
  • Because I have reasons to smile, and I'm going to choose to enjoy them

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 300

Today's Daily 5:
  1. 1 year, 300 days of making these lists
  2. pancakes
  3. a long shower
  4. taking time to care for myself
  5. a floaty, twirly skirt
  6. getting groceries without having to take transit
  7. hanging out with T & L for the afternoon and early evening
  8. making banana cream pie
  9. watching Kung Fu Panda again
  10. a mostly restful day, despite some harder thoughts

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 299

Today's Daily 5:
  1. the sound of rain on the roof
  2. peanut m & m's
  3. the sudden return of a funny childhood memory
  4. a random fact about palm trees, read yesterday, and still making me smile
  5. cozy blankets to curl up under
  6. a LONG soak in a bubble bath (read two hours, pruney toes, and a book and a half worth of reading)
  7. a walk outside after the rain, with the sun peeking out, and air that smelled like lilacs and rain
  8. building, to quote Anne of Green Gables "castles in the air"
  9. giggling at a moment of delight, wrapped up in a worm rescue
  10. blue jello (totally a fan of jello, can't help it.  except maybe for green.  not a huge fan of green jello.)

Cathedral Building

I'm still slowly working my way through a re-read of one of my all time favorite books "Between the Dreaming and the Coming True" by Robert Benson.  This is perhaps one of the most marked-up books in my collection, simply because so much of what Benson has to say spoke to me deeply the first time I read the book, and continues to speak to the deep places of my heart.  The other night I re-read a passage about cathedral building and knew I had to share it here.

He writes:

We do not talk much about building cathedrals these days.  But we should, I think.

Saint Paul once wrote to his friends in Ephesus that there is "a spiritual dwelling for God" being built among us and that we are all a part of it.  A great temple, Saint Paul called it - a cathedral, I call it - that was dreamed by the Dreamer and is meant for us to build.

Its foundation was laid by the prophets and the apostles, by the early church and the desert fathers and mothers, by the saints who are revered and the saints whose names are unknown to us.  The cathedral that is being built here includes all of them and all of us, all who have gone before and all who will come after.  We, and all that we are - dreams, hopes, gifts, hours, days, work, sweat - are meant to be stones in the cathedral of the Dreamer.

In many ways it does not matter whether we are preachers or poets, stonecutters or schoolteachers, accountants or architects.  Nor does it particularly matter if we are woodworkers or water carriers, missionaries or metalworkers.  What matters is that we dream our dreams and hope our hopes and do our work as though we believe in the Dreamer and the dream for the cathedral that is being built here.  For without us, it will not be built.  (pg. 91-92)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 298

Though I'm ending the day in a rather melancholy state, a bit lost in thought, it was really, all things considered, a lovely day, filled with things in which I delight, or in which I find rest, and was one of the days where I kept notes in my phone more carefully than usual, thus producing a longer list for the day.

Today's Daily 5:
  1. a favorite red tank top, cuffed skinny jeans, and flip-flops
  2. walking in the sun to a farmer's market I'd never been to
  3. the goofy thrill that came from picking up a couple of those pop-can plastic rings, that hadn't been cup, from the ground of the park, and bringing them home to cut open, and prevent them from getting caught around birds and small animals (I was indoctrinated well, as a child)
  4. listening to happy music on my iphone as I walked (Regina Spektor, Great Big Sea, U2, The Dixie Chicks, Ray Charles and others - it was an eclectic sort of walk)
  5. feeling inspiration brewing after a week of letting my soul rest and be fed
  6. fruit salad, with lots of berries
  7. an Almond Joy bar from my carefully hoarded stash, eaten while bus reading
  8. bus reading for the first time in months - bits and pieces of two books, one fiction and one non-fiction
  9. new concepts that challenge my thinking and inspire
  10. fiction that draws me deeply into the story
  11. wearing a pair of earrings that are delicately fashioned and remind me of travel and faraway places
  12. watching through the kitchen window as a wild rabbit snacked on clover in the backyard
  13. bubble baths whenever I feel like it, in the deep soaker tub in mom and dad's bathroom
  14. the thrill of watching the plants I planted in the garden begin to take shape and life
  15. green beans, lightly steamed, and coated with butter and sweet chili sauce

Your Questions

I loved all of the questions that you left on my post the other day.  Like I said there, I'm totally inspired by questions.

So...  I've taken all of them, and listed them in my journal, where I sometimes do blog planning, and you'll start to see posts appearing over the next days, and weeks.  Thus far you've left me thirteen different questions, all of which are worthy of their own posts, so you can definitely expect to see them spread out over a while, but I promise I will answer all of them!

And, the fun's not over!  If you have more questions, or you thought of something else, leave a comment on this post, on the original post, or on any one of the answer posts, and I'll add them to my list.

Joy and Pain

"Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pump through all those who don't numb themselves to really living."

~Ann Voskamp~

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 297

Today's Daily 5:
  1. a very reflective day
  2. a good appointment this afternoon
  3. Chinese dumplings for dinner (even eaten on the fly, after arriving at house church)
  4. having a friend I could text when I knew I needed in the next moments to be covered in prayer
  5. a moment where I very clearly felt God's leading, and asking me to speak and step out.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 296

Today's Daily 5:
  1. working in the garden
  2. the smell of freshly cut grass (even though I'm technically allergic to it!)
  3. a couple phone calls from loved ones
  4. a smile from the librarian upon seeing the stack of books I was checking out, with the comment that she reserves a special kind of smile for people who love books that much
  5. the spoils of a very successful library trip
  6. the rhythmic sounds of the dishwasher, in the background as I read
  7. having a dishwasher, instead of having to wash them all by hand
  8. leftover pancakes, reheated in the toasted, with melty peanut butter on top
  9. a day that held lots of reading and quiet reflection
  10. Blackberries, raspberries, strawberries and blueberries

Questions From You

Y'all, I'm the sort of person who does better with a question.  A specific question.  One that forces a pause in the internal stream of consciousness and a redirection.  My favorite conversations are stirred by questions, too.

So, this is your chance.  Leave a comment.  You can ask me anything you'd like.  From the simple to the absurd.  From the spiritual to the completely random and out of left field. What would you ask?  What burning questions do you have? Is there something you always wanted to know?  Something you suspect that I just might have an opinion on?  This is your chance!  I'll answer the questions in a post, or series of posts, as necessary. 

Ask away.  Ask once, or many times over.  I'm totally curious to see what you want to know!

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 295

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Making three new recipes (Chocolate filled raspberries, Chocolate dipped and filled strawberries, and Cashew Chicken Lettuce Wraps)
  2. A long hot shower
  3. A day of great food
  4. laughing over dinner and errands with my brother and sister-in-law
  5. a mostly restful day, while still accomplishing some things that needed to be done

Pinterest

Have you all checked out pinterest yet?

I've passed quite a number of restful and happy hours staring at beautiful images and creating my own form of digital inspiration boards since I discovered it.

A friend asked if it was just one more thing to keep up with?  For me, the answer is no.  It's a chance to spend however long I choose to allot to visual inspiration, and then set it aside.

Staring at all the visuals on Sunday led to words flowing as I wrote and journaled.

It's been soul-feeding for me, these last number of days, to digitally collect beauty and inspiration.

Below are a number of the images I've pinned for later enjoyment.

Source: tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest







Source: None via Lisa on Pinterest

Monday, June 06, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 294

Today's Daily 5:
  1. The moment after handing the grocery cashier your club discount cards, when the total owing drops by a significant amount.  (I saved $15 today!)
  2. Getting up the nerve to drive to the grocery store and back
  3. staying inside, cooking and resting on a rainy day
  4. a bubble bath
  5. pancakes for supper, made from scratch, not a mix with a side of whipped cream and fruit salad.

Haunting and Beautiful

My good friend Faye posted a hauntingly beautiful lament for her cousin on her blog this morning.

She doesn't post often, but when she does, I always find her words worth reading.

In the last year, there has been too much grief touching their family.

I'm praying for Faye, and her family today, as they once again grieve.

Thinking about Food

It's Monday morning, the first full day of enjoying house-sitting for my folks, and I am still in bed, writing with my laptop propped on top of me, and me propped on top of various pillows.

I'm thinking about food.  Because today I need to make a grocery list.  I need to go through some recipes, make a grocery list, and then go to the grocery store. 

Fruit is going to be a major ingredient on my list, I think.  I want to make a giant fruit salad, and then stash it in the fridge to be consumed all week.

And I want asparagus, and maybe the ingredients to make chicken Caesar Salad.

And I think I'll pick out a couple of new recipes.  Maybe one baking one, and one or two main courses.

I'm craving the fruit, mostly.  And other raw vegetables, too.  I want multiple kinds of berries and nectarines, and maybe some mango. 

And I'm looking forward to turning on some great music and enjoying myself in the kitchen over the next couple of weeks.

How awesome to have that chance to creatively express myself in that way again!

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 293

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Banana chocolate chip muffins
  2. homemade lavender body butter, gifted to me by a friend
  3. wearing a favorite pair of earrings
  4. braided hair
  5. my favorite jeans
  6. settling in for the next two weeks of housesitting
  7. a neck pillow to support my neck as I'm sitting to read or work on the computer
  8. feeling better
  9. cookies
  10. the smell of lilacs in the air after the rain

U2 in Photos

Folks, I don't quite know what to say about the U2 concert.  It was an absolutely incredible experience, and well worth the year and a half wait.  It was fun to share with a friend, fabulous to be with 65,000 other people in an outdoor arena.  I was amazed by the stage and the jumbotron, and the band, and really, well, everything.  Here are some pics from the night:




Saturday, June 04, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 292

Today's Daily 5:
  1. getting an errand that's been on my list for a week accomplished
  2. a billboard for a travel company, with an ad that made me laugh, that read "Can You Feel the Louvre Tonight?"
  3. Chinese dumplings that I cooked for lunch
  4. discovering pinterest, and spending several hours quietly collecting inspiration
  5. the picture of the cabin and palm trees that I posted earlier tonight
  6. Chinese take-out for dinner with mom and dad and T & L
  7. baking cookies
  8. the moments when words flow a little
  9. sitting in quiet
  10. having reasons to laugh

Dream House

I came across this image tonight on pinterest.  I think this is going to be the place I picture in my mind from now on, when I'm picturing the perfect safe and quiet place to escape to.  And of course, it's surrounded by palm trees.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 291

Today's Daily 5:
  1. A semi-decent sleep
  2. Packing up for a couple of weeks of housesitting
  3. Peanut M & M's
  4. library trip
  5. settling in at mom and dad's to kick off a couple of weeks where I'll be sleeping in the same bed every night, instead of swapping houses every 3-4 days.

U2

I'll write a proper post about the U2 concert sometime in the coming days, once I manage to pull some photos off my camera. 

In the meantime, can I just say that it was absolutely one of the best nights on record?  I loved every minute of it.  Such an incredible experience!

Mute

Earlier this week I came across this video on a blog I read and it made me laugh, so I had to share.



Thursday, June 02, 2011

Daily 5 - Year 2, Days 289 & 290

June 1, 2011, Day 289 Daily 5:
  1. Vietnamese Sub sandwiches
  2. road tripping with a friend
  3. hugs from my friend J., who joined us for dinner before the concert
  4. Mongolie Grill
  5. U2 Concert!!!!

June 2, 2011, Day 290, Today's Daily 5:
  1. Safe trip home from Edmonton
  2. a rare chance to stop at a local Christian bookstore
  3. Wendy's berry, almond chicken salad - it was really tasty
  4. dreaming all through last night about the U2 Concert, and waking with songs still playing in my head
  5. a really good time at house church, sharing, and praying for each other.

Most Read Posts May 2011

The most read posts here for the month of May were:

  1. Facebook Status Updates That Will Never Make It
  2. Thursday in Rome
  3. The Call of Christ - Danita Estrella
  4. My Reality
  5. Reverb 11 - May
  6. Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 57
  7. One Year
  8. Election Day
  9. Labyrinth
  10. A Deep Sadness (I Don't Know What to Say)

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

U2

I'm heading out today for a city three hours north, to catch U2 live in concert.

If you'll remember, I was supposed to see this concert a year ago, and it was unexpectedly postponed.

If you add in the time since when I bought the tickets, that means that I've been waiting more than a year and a half for this concert, which has been my dream concert for years.

I'm totally excited to be joining two good friends for the concert, roadtripping with one of them, and spending the next day or so enjoying great music and great company.

See you on the other side!