Go to the land I will give you (When blessing doesn't look like blessing)

As part of Lent this year, there are two little devotional books that I have been reading in addition to my usual nightly routine of Scripture, prayer and a guided journal that was a gift from a dear friend.

Tonight, both of those booklets caught deeply at my heart, challenging and pulling at me in the midst of a number of things I've been thinking about.

The first one is simply called "Places Along the Way" and explores in a scripture reading and short reflection various places - taking you on a Lenten journey if you will. Tonight's "stop" was Ur of the Chaldees. The place from which the Lord called Abraham out into the unknown. Into a journey of trust. "Go from your country to the land that I will show you." It always surprises me that Abraham went. I'd have been asking a lot of questions. "What land, Lord? What should I bring with me? Why there instead of here?" But Abraham packed everything up and headed out.

I've felt a bit like I've been journeying in the unknown this year. Certainly in the uncertain and unexpected. And trying to learn trust along the way. To really believe that Jesus doesn't have it in for me, and that he is holding and guiding and seeking to bless me in the midst of this.

That booklet closed with the following paragraph, which hit my heart deeply:

"We go out today and tomorrow not knowing where the steps will take us. We will be tempted to become attached to the wrong places and things. We are likely to put our minds on cities without foundations, built by humans who are destined to be dust. But the Christ of promise gives us the vision and confidence to walk in faith, with eyes fixed on the permanent."

The second book is simply titled "Journeying Through Lent with Luke," and tonight's passage looked at the first two beatitudes as Luke presents them: "God blesses you who are poor, for the Kingdom of God is yours. God blesses you who are hungry now, for you will be satisfied. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh." (Luke 6:20-21 NLT)

Again, this has been a year where I've asked big questions about the blessings of God, and so the words of the author of this little Lenten book caught at me tonight. She writes:

"Being comfortable and carefree is not what matters most in life. To be blessed is to receive God's favor, to trust God's promises, and to live in God's presence - even in the most unhappy times... Jesus' teachings turn natural expectations inside out. In Luke 6, he teaches that even the most painful situations, such as grief and poverty, may be occasions for blessing... The people most likely to be shunned and avoided are the very people to whom Jesus promises God's blessing. And the situations people most want to avoid are the very situations in which God may bless them... The comfort of the Holy Spirit is now, in the present moment, today."

huh.

If you'd been privy to the more personal things I've been thinking about the last few weeks, or even an ongoing conversation I've been having with God (and sometimes with a dear friend), you'd probably be laughing at me right now, or smiling at the way Jesus has once again chosen to make a point.

And so, I'm off to talk with Jesus again about trusting him with the journey I'm on and trusting specifically that he is indeed offering blessing. Even in the midst of some pretty gross things.

Just the Facts...

It has been a more pleasant Monday afternoon than normal, thanks to the half-day absence of a coworker who can be a bit controlling and difficult to get along with.

I feel slightly guilty for having a better Monday afternoon solely due to the absence of the aforementioned difficult coworker.

I am usually sunlight deprived while at the office.

I am not sunlight deprived today.

Both of the coworkers who have offices near our reception station keep the blinds to their windows fully closed nearly all the time.

When the aforementioned coworker is out of the office, I have my boss’ permission to open the blinds in that office.

This is why I’m not sunlight deprived today.

I am wearing a new top today.

It’s flowing and silvery, with lace detailing.

The lace forms a beautiful silver butterfly across my neckline.

I am also wearing high heels.

I love the way I feel in high heels.

I am going out for dinner tonight with a friend I met in high school.

She and I share a rather sarcastic sense of humor, and our times together are always filled with laughter.

Then I’m going home.

To read.

And think.

And write.

And pray.

And rest.

Trains in the News Again

Two headlines about trains in the Alberta news today:

Train Kills Canmore Woman

Alberta Man Dies After Being Struck by Train

Emptiness, Powerlessness, Covenant - Thoughts from Henri Nouwen

Three more reflections from Henri Nouwen...

Letting Go of Our Fear of God

We are afraid of emptiness. Spinoza speaks about our "horror vacui," our horrendous fear of vacancy. We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space. We want to be occupied. And if we are not occupied we easily become preoccupied; that is, we fill the empty spaces before we have even reached them. We fill them with our worries, saying, "But what if ..."

It is very hard to allow emptiness to exist in our lives. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. Let's pray that we can let go of our fear of God and embrace God as the source of all love.

God's powerlessness

Jesus is God-with-us, Emmanuel. The great mystery of God becoming human is God's desire to be loved by us. By becoming a vulnerable child, completely dependent on human care, God wants to take away all distance between the human and the divine.

Who can be afraid of a little child that needs to be fed, to be cared for, to be taught, to be guided? We usually talk about God as the all-powerful, almighty God on whom we depend completely. But God wanted to become the all-powerless, all-vulnerable God who completely depends on us. How can we be afraid of a God who wants to be "God-with-us" and needs us to become "Us-with-God"?

God’s Covenant

God made a covenant with us. The word covenant means "coming together." God wants to come together with us. In many of the stories in the Hebrew Bible, we see that God appears as a God who defends us against our enemies, protects us against dangers, and guides us to freedom. God is God-for-us. When Jesus comes a new dimension of the covenant is revealed. In Jesus, God is born, grows to maturity, lives, suffers, and dies as we do. God is God-with-us. Finally, when Jesus leaves he promises the Holy Spirit. In the Holy Spirit, God reveals the full depth of the covenant. God wants to be as close to us as our breath. God wants to breathe in us, so that all we say, think and do is completely inspired by God. God is God-within-us. Thus God's covenant reveals to us to how much God loves us.