I smiled to myself just a little when the rain began last night. The light, refreshing sort of spring rain.
I'd been waiting for a week or so, watching the forecast. Needing somehow, that new life that comes with the rains.
The timing of the start of the rain was just so. An period at the end of a sentence. A sort of promise. A whispered word speaking an encouragement to continued obedience, an ongoing guidance of my steps and path.
And then, driving home, against the heavy rain darkened clouds, was a rainbow. An exclamation point, to further extend my grammatical metaphor. A rainbow that originated approximately over my house. That offered yet another promise.
The rains came, and I remembered again two promises "I will see him in the land of the living," and "He makes all things new."
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
All in the clothes?
It's always funny to me how clothes make a difference in confidence levels. They seem like such a superficial thing, and yet they really do make a difference.
And, when I'm nervous about something, I dress very carefully for that event.
I was thinking about that this afternoon, because I'm feeling pretty rotten today. The headache is still hanging on, and my stomach is still working on recovering.
But, I'm wearing "the perfect dress" at the office today, and that's helping my confidence levels just a little. I may not feel great, but I look great!
This dress really is the perfect little number, and I scored it on a sale rack (with my roommate's help) on the weekend. Marked down from $78 to $20, it will perfectly fulfill the need for a dress to wear to two separate weddings this summer (dressed up for an evening one with heels, and down for a garden one with nice flip-flops) AND it absolutely works for the office. How often do you find one item that meets all of those criteria and is relatively comfortable to boot?
So, my stomach may ache, and my head may throb, and generally feel as if it's full of cotton, but today, today, I look good! :)
And, when I'm nervous about something, I dress very carefully for that event.
I was thinking about that this afternoon, because I'm feeling pretty rotten today. The headache is still hanging on, and my stomach is still working on recovering.
But, I'm wearing "the perfect dress" at the office today, and that's helping my confidence levels just a little. I may not feel great, but I look great!
This dress really is the perfect little number, and I scored it on a sale rack (with my roommate's help) on the weekend. Marked down from $78 to $20, it will perfectly fulfill the need for a dress to wear to two separate weddings this summer (dressed up for an evening one with heels, and down for a garden one with nice flip-flops) AND it absolutely works for the office. How often do you find one item that meets all of those criteria and is relatively comfortable to boot?
So, my stomach may ache, and my head may throb, and generally feel as if it's full of cotton, but today, today, I look good! :)
Quote for the day
From the calendar that sits on my desk:
"Prayer is a rest, a relaxation. One must come in total simplicity to the one whom one loves...We must look at him all the time; we must keep silent; it is so simple." (Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity)
"Prayer is a rest, a relaxation. One must come in total simplicity to the one whom one loves...We must look at him all the time; we must keep silent; it is so simple." (Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity)
Rough Night
I had a headache when I went to bed last night. Not the sort I'd usually medicate (I want the drugs to be effective when that occasional really bad headache arrives.) I won't be making that mistake again.
Rather than the several hours I usually sleep before the first waking, I slept for an hour. Then I woke every 20 minutes or so for the next six hours. But I was never awake enough to move out of bed to find medication. So I just sort of lay there in pain, drifting in and out of sleep.
Finally around six am I managed to find drugs. Just enough to cow the headache kind of into submission so that I could get up and dressed and out the door to work.
After a night of minimal sleep, with the lingering affects of a headache strong enough to cause nausea, I'm thinking it might be a challenging day.
So, here it goes!!! With lots of prayer and determination.
Rather than the several hours I usually sleep before the first waking, I slept for an hour. Then I woke every 20 minutes or so for the next six hours. But I was never awake enough to move out of bed to find medication. So I just sort of lay there in pain, drifting in and out of sleep.
Finally around six am I managed to find drugs. Just enough to cow the headache kind of into submission so that I could get up and dressed and out the door to work.
After a night of minimal sleep, with the lingering affects of a headache strong enough to cause nausea, I'm thinking it might be a challenging day.
So, here it goes!!! With lots of prayer and determination.
From Henri
A few thoughts from Henri Nouwen that have been collecting in my inbox again the last week or so...
Jesus' Compassion
Jesus is called Emmanuel which means "God-with-us" (see Matthew 1: 22-23). The great paradox of Jesus' life is that he, whose words and actions are in no way influenced by human blame or praise but are completely dependent on God's will, is more "with" us than any other human being.
Jesus' compassion, his deep feeling-with us, is possible because his life is guided not by human respect but only by the love of his heavenly Father. Indeed, Jesus is free to love us because he is not dependent on our love.
Jesus' Self-Portrait
Jesus says: "Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, those who hunger and thirst for uprightness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness" (Matthew 5:3-10). These words offer us a self-portrait of Jesus. Jesus is the Blessed One. And the face of the Blessed One shows poverty, gentleness, grief, hunger, and thirst for uprightness, mercy, purity of heart, a desire to make peace, and the signs of persecution.
The whole message of the Gospel is this: Become like Jesus. We have his self-portrait. When we keep that in front of our eyes, we will soon learn what it means to follow Jesus and become like him.
Jesus is Poor
Jesus, the Blessed One, is poor. The poverty of Jesus is much more than an economic or social poverty. Jesus is poor because he freely chose powerlessness over power, vulnerability over defensiveness, dependency over self-sufficiency. As the great "Song of Christ" so beautifully expresses: "He ... did not count equality with God something to be grasped. But he emptied himself, ... becoming as human beings are" (Philippians 2:6-7). This is the poverty of spirit that Jesus chose to live.
Jesus calls us who are blessed as he is to live our lives with that same poverty.
Jesus is Gentle
Jesus, the Blessed One, is gentle. Even though he speaks with great fervor and biting criticism against all forms of hypocrisy and is not afraid to attack deception, vanity, manipulation and oppression, his heart is a gentle heart. He won't break the crushed reed or snuff the faltering wick (see Matthew 12:20). He responds to people's suffering, heals their wounds, and offers courage to the fainthearted.
Jesus came to bring good news to the poor, sight to the blind, and freedom to prisoners (see Luke 4:18-19) in all he says, and thus he reveals God's immense compassion. As his followers, we are called to that same gentleness.
Jesus Mourns
Jesus, the Blessed One, mourns. Jesus mourns when his friend Lazarus dies (see John 11:33-36); he mourns when he overlooks the city of Jerusalem, soon to be destroyed (see Luke 19:41-44). Jesus mourns over all losses and devastations that fill the human heart with pain. He grieves with those who grieve and sheds tears with those who cry.
The violence, greed, lust, and so many other evils that have distorted the face of the earth and its people causes the Beloved Son of God to mourn. We too have to mourn if we hope to experience God's consolation.
Jesus' Compassion
Jesus is called Emmanuel which means "God-with-us" (see Matthew 1: 22-23). The great paradox of Jesus' life is that he, whose words and actions are in no way influenced by human blame or praise but are completely dependent on God's will, is more "with" us than any other human being.
Jesus' compassion, his deep feeling-with us, is possible because his life is guided not by human respect but only by the love of his heavenly Father. Indeed, Jesus is free to love us because he is not dependent on our love.
Jesus' Self-Portrait
Jesus says: "Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, those who hunger and thirst for uprightness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness" (Matthew 5:3-10). These words offer us a self-portrait of Jesus. Jesus is the Blessed One. And the face of the Blessed One shows poverty, gentleness, grief, hunger, and thirst for uprightness, mercy, purity of heart, a desire to make peace, and the signs of persecution.
The whole message of the Gospel is this: Become like Jesus. We have his self-portrait. When we keep that in front of our eyes, we will soon learn what it means to follow Jesus and become like him.
Jesus is Poor
Jesus, the Blessed One, is poor. The poverty of Jesus is much more than an economic or social poverty. Jesus is poor because he freely chose powerlessness over power, vulnerability over defensiveness, dependency over self-sufficiency. As the great "Song of Christ" so beautifully expresses: "He ... did not count equality with God something to be grasped. But he emptied himself, ... becoming as human beings are" (Philippians 2:6-7). This is the poverty of spirit that Jesus chose to live.
Jesus calls us who are blessed as he is to live our lives with that same poverty.
Jesus is Gentle
Jesus, the Blessed One, is gentle. Even though he speaks with great fervor and biting criticism against all forms of hypocrisy and is not afraid to attack deception, vanity, manipulation and oppression, his heart is a gentle heart. He won't break the crushed reed or snuff the faltering wick (see Matthew 12:20). He responds to people's suffering, heals their wounds, and offers courage to the fainthearted.
Jesus came to bring good news to the poor, sight to the blind, and freedom to prisoners (see Luke 4:18-19) in all he says, and thus he reveals God's immense compassion. As his followers, we are called to that same gentleness.
Jesus Mourns
Jesus, the Blessed One, mourns. Jesus mourns when his friend Lazarus dies (see John 11:33-36); he mourns when he overlooks the city of Jerusalem, soon to be destroyed (see Luke 19:41-44). Jesus mourns over all losses and devastations that fill the human heart with pain. He grieves with those who grieve and sheds tears with those who cry.
The violence, greed, lust, and so many other evils that have distorted the face of the earth and its people causes the Beloved Son of God to mourn. We too have to mourn if we hope to experience God's consolation.
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