Just Keep Walking

As I woke this morning, after passing another long night where I never slept for more than an hour and a half in a row, all I could do was lay with my face buried in my pillow and utter a whispered demand, “God, you’d better go with me and give me strength today, or I’m not going to make it.”

Not the most diplomatic, or polite sort of request, but one I’ve found myself uttering quite a lot lately.

This morning, uncharacteristically, as I made my way to work and settled in at my desk, there were lots of little reminders that He is indeed “going with me” through this day.

There were song lyrics on my ipod during the commute.

There was a whispered murmur of a way to pray for a friend.

There were birds. All sorts of birds. Swooping and dashing and landing at just the oddest moments as my heart cried out for hope.

There was an email – a daily scripture passage and prayer from the Moravians – that talked about just the things I’d been talking about with Jesus as the song lyrics and birds stirred my heart.

Little reminders to persevere. Little reminders that in the midst of the struggle and the exhaustion and the pain, He is present and offering me a strength on which to lean. So I'll just keep walking, assured, for the moment at least, of His presence.

More from Henri Nouwen

Living Faithfully in an Ambiguous World

Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in nature colors and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.

It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities. We have to learn to make wise choices without needing to be entirely sure.