Off Days

I'm having a weird couple of days. I woke up yesterday morning after a great night with friends Friday night, and everything was just "off." I couldn't peg it, but it played out in some ugly bursts of temper and tears, unfairly directed at people around me. It played out in laziness, too. In short, I acted something like a five year old who didn't get her way.

I went out again last night - saw Blue Like Jazz Live again with a different friend. (Still fantastic by the way!) We hung out for a while, hooked up with some other friends, and I was doing okay.

They dropped me off, and I tried to sleep. (I'm leaving for work in ten minutes). I knew I needed to be at least semi-alert this morning. But, again, something was so "off." I lay there, feeling uneasy, and upset - my stomach thudding around in the way that happens when I'm stressed. I prayed - "God, what's going on here... reveal the source of my unease... etc." Nothing. Finally I slept. Sort of. If you consider tossing and turning true sleep, and if you consider waking up at least four times in the six and a half hours I was in bed true sleep.

I'm still feeling "off" this morning. Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall. Some silent, uncomfortable sense of foreboding - of forthcoming bad things. I have a full day planned. Work, then dinner with a friend and her boyfriend, then church, and probably hanging out after church. If you find this today, say a prayer for me. When this kind of thing settles on me, things start spiraling downward - the depression kicks up, I spend time confused, and over analyzing because I'm trying to peg what's going on. Pray for clarity, or peace, or something...

And, with that I'm off to work... cranky brides, here I come!