- Getting the time I've been wanting to read a book I purchased earlier this week in a round-about way this morning. I spent three hours standing at a copier in Staples running off a job for work that we couldn't print in house or outsource. Not much to do except make sure the copier was running smoothly, and read. So I did.
- wearing jeans to work
- having themes from the week confirmed at the conference I'm attending
- "Unveiled faces"
- Listening to "Getting Ready for Glory" and "Subtle Shiver" by Steve Bell in the car this morning
Friday, October 23, 2009
Daily 5 - Day 72
Today's Daily 5:
Internet Down
I've had kind of a rough night.
I'm at my parent's house, borrowing their internet. My internet at home is down. AGAIN. And this time I'm likely going to miss a free cooking class on Sunday that I registered for months ago in order to be home for the technician to come. But, more internet for the rest of the week (since it's my major means of communicating with a lot of people very dear to me) trumps cooking class.
The conference I'm attending hit hard on some of the raw spots in my life right now, and I'm reeling a bit, feeling exhausted.
Because the internet is down, it's going to be quiet here until at least Sunday.
If you're the praying sort, I'd appreciate your prayers as I continue to listen for Jesus through the remainder of the conference tomorrow, and as I head through the rest of the weekend.
I'm at my parent's house, borrowing their internet. My internet at home is down. AGAIN. And this time I'm likely going to miss a free cooking class on Sunday that I registered for months ago in order to be home for the technician to come. But, more internet for the rest of the week (since it's my major means of communicating with a lot of people very dear to me) trumps cooking class.
The conference I'm attending hit hard on some of the raw spots in my life right now, and I'm reeling a bit, feeling exhausted.
Because the internet is down, it's going to be quiet here until at least Sunday.
If you're the praying sort, I'd appreciate your prayers as I continue to listen for Jesus through the remainder of the conference tomorrow, and as I head through the rest of the weekend.
A Lovely Prayer
Just at this moment I'm feeling exhausted. Not defeated, exactly, but spent. Working not to dread the draws on my energy that remain ahead of me. Trying to aim for rest and joy and peace.
I read this prayer on the calendar that sits on my desk (a gift from a dear friend that somehow manages to nearly daily challenge or encourage me), and just for a moment, my spirit cried out in agreement:
O my God, fill my soul with holy joy, courage, and strength to serve you. Enkindle your love in me, and then walk with me along the next stretch of road before me. I do not see very far ahead, but when I have arrived where the horizon now closes down, a new prospect will open before me, and I shall meet with peace.
(Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross - Edith Stein)
I read this prayer on the calendar that sits on my desk (a gift from a dear friend that somehow manages to nearly daily challenge or encourage me), and just for a moment, my spirit cried out in agreement:
O my God, fill my soul with holy joy, courage, and strength to serve you. Enkindle your love in me, and then walk with me along the next stretch of road before me. I do not see very far ahead, but when I have arrived where the horizon now closes down, a new prospect will open before me, and I shall meet with peace.
(Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross - Edith Stein)
Not quite ready to share...
I started writing a long post this morning on the topics of self-love and rest.
I'll probably finish it eventually, but I'm feeling pretty raw in those areas this week and needing perhaps process for a while longer, alone and with a few dear friends, so I'm going to leave it for now.
This has been a week that has in many ways highlighted failures in some key things in my life right now. I don't think that has been a bad thing - I'm certainly very aware of the areas that are needing my attention in the coming days. But it is a tiring thing, and for me, a constant battle to balance the conviction from God that those things have carried, with the self-condemnation not from God that they have also stirred.
I received a phone call last night from a long time friend that may carry some interesting consequences as well. Perhaps some tiny chance at healing and forgiveness and reconciliation regarding a situation we were both part of at a home church we attended quite a number of years back. I pray there is healing and release for us as things play out, whether or not they also carry reconciliation.
I am attending a prayer conference tonight and all day tomorrow, and right now that is feeling like a colossal risk. I registered on a whim when it was mentioned one night at the church I've been sort of kind of attending for a while now. I knew of the speaker, had heard glowing recommendations of his work from some trusted friends, and felt the prompting to register. Right in this moment, that is scary to me. After this week I'm feeling the need to meet with Jesus deeply, and I believe this conference offers the potential for that. But I'm also afraid - afraid that he won't show up, afraid that he will.
If you're the praying type, I'd appreciate your prayers. This has been a very hard week. Not bad, but hard. Many things coming home deeply to me. And the need to find a way forward amidst that.
I'll probably finish it eventually, but I'm feeling pretty raw in those areas this week and needing perhaps process for a while longer, alone and with a few dear friends, so I'm going to leave it for now.
This has been a week that has in many ways highlighted failures in some key things in my life right now. I don't think that has been a bad thing - I'm certainly very aware of the areas that are needing my attention in the coming days. But it is a tiring thing, and for me, a constant battle to balance the conviction from God that those things have carried, with the self-condemnation not from God that they have also stirred.
I received a phone call last night from a long time friend that may carry some interesting consequences as well. Perhaps some tiny chance at healing and forgiveness and reconciliation regarding a situation we were both part of at a home church we attended quite a number of years back. I pray there is healing and release for us as things play out, whether or not they also carry reconciliation.
I am attending a prayer conference tonight and all day tomorrow, and right now that is feeling like a colossal risk. I registered on a whim when it was mentioned one night at the church I've been sort of kind of attending for a while now. I knew of the speaker, had heard glowing recommendations of his work from some trusted friends, and felt the prompting to register. Right in this moment, that is scary to me. After this week I'm feeling the need to meet with Jesus deeply, and I believe this conference offers the potential for that. But I'm also afraid - afraid that he won't show up, afraid that he will.
If you're the praying type, I'd appreciate your prayers. This has been a very hard week. Not bad, but hard. Many things coming home deeply to me. And the need to find a way forward amidst that.
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