Random Items in a Bag

I finished work at noon today, and headed for my parents house. I had a pre-established appointment for a massage.

My mom is always sending things home with me when I leave their house, and today the assortment is amusingly random. I came home with a grocery bag filled with:

• one set of pajamas. a birthday gift that I purchased that needs to be returned.
• one of my plates, left at their house over Christmas.
• my mail (mostly bills)
• a little bag from a local bakery, containing one apple cinnamon sticky bun.
• a bag of croutons for salad that were given to my mom but she didn't want.
• a package of dried mango - again, something given to mom that she didn't particularly need and knew I loved.
• and a partially drunk bottle of red-wine that I'm to drink what I want from tonight/tomorrow and then return the remainder to be consumed at their house.
  

new year coming

I was up most of the night.

Talking with a friend.

Praying.

Crying.

Some combination of all three at times.

This morning my heart hurts.

I am angry.

And exhausted.

I'm done.

With so many of the things that have marked this crazy year.

I am letting my heart look back, and remembering the many, many oh so broken, bittersweet, beautiful moments.

I am writing. One last ditch effort to give voice to my heart. Words that may or may not ever make it out of my journal or my draft email folder, but words I need to record anyway.

There's a new year coming. And I pray, that in the last hours of this present one, many things will draw to a close.

It's time.

To rise and walk.

To heal.

To let go.

To be free.

For all of this to draw to a close, that new life may again begin to sprout.

If 2008 was "a time for tearing down" then I pray that 2009 will be a "time for rebuilding" a "time for healing."

God's Imagination - Henri Nouwen

God's Imagination

So much of our energy, time, and money goes into maintaining distance from one another. Many if not most of the resources of the world are used to defend ourselves against each other, to maintain or increase our power, and to safeguard our own privileged position.

Imagine all that effort being put in the service of peace and reconciliation! Would there be any poverty? Would there be crimes and wars? Just imagine that there was no longer fear among people, no longer any rivalry, hostility, bitterness, or revenge. Just imagine all the people on this planet holding hands and forming one large circle of love. We say, "I can't imagine." But God says, "That's what I imagine, a whole world not only created but also living in my image."