Daily 5 - Day 169

Today's Daily 5:

1. Thankful that we'd cooked the last few days, and for various reasons I hadn't eaten the lunches I'd packed.  It means that I got through today without having to cook - something I definitely didn't have the energy to do.
2. Reading coverage about medical supplies and shortages in Haiti, and the extreme conditions continues to leave me thankful that I live in a country where medical care is easily accessible.  It also leaves me thankful all over again that I was not seriously hurt, and that, even though I've been in quite a bit of pain today, it's been mostly manageable with over the counter painkillers.
3. Have I mentioned yet that I'm thankful for the doctor who told me I could stay in bed for a couple of days?  Because I didn't even feel like moving until about 11 this morning, and then I was only up for a couple hours before I crashed all over again.
4. Thankful for my community of online facebook/blog friends.  Some of you have sent notes or left comments on the blog or my facebook wall, and you really have no idea how timely and encouraging those have been today.
5. Thankful that I will be able to get out of the house for at least a little while tomorrow.  Feeling like I could use the break, and will be glad to go for a short swim, or even just hang out at mom and dad's for a bit.

A Bit Discouraged

I'm feeling a little bit discouraged tonight, as the reality that I will likely be moving in a month, and won't have a vehicle begin to hit home.

I haven't really cried since the accident - I was too busy holding it together, convincing myself that I was okay, making necessary phone calls, handling details.

Tonight I've cried, and am crying.

I'm sure it's some combination of exhaustion, left-over adrenaline, pain (yesterday it wasn't too bad, and I only took painkillers a couple of times, today I've been clock-watching, waiting for the four hours to be up so that I can take the next dose), and shock, but I also feel a bit of discouragement and loss of freedom.

The reality is that there are not many apartments in a price range I can afford, and even fewer of those are in a location that won't have me spending 3-4 hours a day commuting via public transit.  I don't really want to take on more debt to buy a car right now, and my savings certainly won't pay for a vehicle.

Tomorrow, I'm sure things will somehow look more hopeful, and an hour from now, I'll show up here and make a list of things that I'm thankful for from today, or things that made me smile, but just in this moment, I'm feeling discouraged, and if the tears will flow, I'm going to let them.

Train to Machu Picchu Closed

Apparently there's been quite a lot of rain and landslides in Peru recently, and the rail link to Machu Picchu is closed.  This, of course, caught my attention, given my fascination with Peru, and my longing to go to Machu Picchu someday.

Another Miracle

Another young woman was found alive in the rubble in Haiti yesterday.

Resting

I woke for the first time at 4 am, feeling pretty good.  By the time I woke again at 7 or so, the painkillers had worn off and all I could think was that I could have kissed the doctor who said I could stay in bed today.

I'm still thinking that.  The painkillers are doing a pretty good job, thankfully, but I'm exhausted, so I spent most of the morning sleeping.

I've been up for a little while now, done a few things that needed to be done, and now I'm thinking it's time for another nap.

So thankful for the doctor who told me to rest.  So thankful for a job where it is possible for me to spend a couple of days in bed without repurcussions. 

And with that, I'll be back later.  I'm off to take another nap.