Homeless

I'm feeling a little adrift lately - it hit me this morning part of the reason. I'm feeling somewhat homeless - in limbo. Mom and Dad's house is not my home anymore, but my new place does not yet feel like home either.

I'm not loving this state at the moment.

I'm searching for genuine companionship at deep levels. I took a chance and shared some of my recent feelings, struggles, and frustrations with a small group of people last night. Turns out it was the old story. I spoke, and what came from within me was not what was heard by those around me. I came away feeling a bit judged, belittled, shamed. There are moments when I wonder if the kind of people I'm searching for exist, and then I'm reminded that though they don't live in Calgary, I know many believers of this sort, and am privileged to call them friends.

But still, at this moment I feel homeless, somewhat aimless, lonely. Overly emotional and hormonal, to be sure, but wondering if life will settle out any time soon.

Being Broken - Henri Nouwen

Received this in my email from the Henri Nouwen Society this morning, and thought I'd pass it along. A proper update coming sometime later today or tomorrow.

Being Broken

Jesus was broken on the cross. He lived his suffering and death not as an evil to avoid at all costs, but as a mission to embrace. We too are broken. We live with broken bodies, broken hearts, broken minds or broken spirits. We suffer from broken relationships.

How can we live our brokenness? Jesus invites us to embrace our brokenness as he embraced the cross and live it as part of our mission. He asks us not to reject our brokenness as a curse from God that reminds us of our sinfulness but to accept it and put it under God's blessing for our purification and sanctification. Thus our brokenness can become a gateway to new life.