Daily 5 - Day 143

Today's Daily "5":

1. Learning from dad how to check the level of antifreeze, and the tire pressure in George (and checking and adding oil, as well as refilling my windshield fluid while I was at it.)  I feel a bit pathetic for admitting it, but it made me feel good to know how to do those things, and my dad was patient in teaching me.  It was sort of one of those moments that is a bit hard to explain, but in some ways, learning these basic things about caring for my car was a way of showing myself that I am strong and capable, and increasingly independent.  Funny, I suppose, for someone who's been living on her own for a number of years, but moments like this, or like the appointment at the bank this week to me have really been about stepping up and asserting myself, and understanding and taking control of a challenging situation - of reducing my debt and saving for the future at the bank, and of knowing how to manage a minor problem with George (an antifreeze leak) and keep an eye on it so it doesn't become a major problem
2. chicken fingers and french fries for lunch (the new healthier version of the chicken fingers that I picked up the other day) - still one of my favorite, quick "comfort" meals
3. a really productive day
4. candles lit in various spots around the house for most of the day
5. going through my bookshelves and updating my list of unread titles (I should maybe stop buying books, I think the unread list of books I own is now around 160) and thinking about which books to read next for the coming year
6. cleaning my bedroom really well, and restoring it to a really peaceful space for dreaming and creating and thinking and praying over the coming year.  I think cleaning is often still a form of prayer for me, and a way of creating space for new things within me, even as I clean my physical space.
7. also cleaning a bunch of the rest of the house.  So nice to just have a clean space to exist in.
   
8. Just really enjoying the last day of having an empty house.  I love my roommate, and I'll be glad to see her when I pick her up tomorrow, but I sure do enjoy the times when I have the house all to myself.
9. dreaming and scheming for the coming year
10.  A slow start this morning, laying in bed, reading blogs and articles about the new year - fun to see so many different people's thoughts

A Better Story: Hope List for 2010

I've talked before about Donald Miller's latest book, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life".  I've read all of Miller's books, and next to "Blue Like Jazz", this one is definitely my favorite (it may even beat out "Blue Like Jazz" - I can't quite decide!)

In any case, I read the book a few months back, when I was in the midst of needing to really make some decisions about whether or not I was going to stand up and take control of some issues in my life.  In fact, I distinctly recall sitting in my doctor's office, on a day when I had an appointment that ended up being pivotal in terms of the decisions that appointment forced me to make, and reading this book.  The doctor was running late, and as I sat there fighting back the panic attacks I was dealing with that day, I was reading and being challenged by the idea of writing a better story with my life.

My roommate gave me a magnet for Christmas, printed with an art piece from Curly Girl Design, that I saw on a canvas months and months ago, and have been hunting for in some smaller form ever since. The quote on the art piece that made me fall in love with it reads, "The world is full of people who will go their whole lives and not actually LIVE one day.  She did not intend on being one of them."  I loved that - "she did not intend on being one of them" - and it kind of became a personal mantra of sorts.  That I want to tell a great story with my life, and to really live. 

I'll share some quotes from Miller's book sometime in the next day or two, but for the moment, I wanted to share the list of goals, hopes, dreams, resolutions, things to do (pick your favorite term and insert it here) that I formulated for the new year over the last few days.

I'm sort of famous for making lists, and equally famous for adding a great deal of flexibility to the lists, and I'm sure that this one will grow and morph and change as the circumstances of the year shape it, but for now, I'm going to call this my "hope list" or my "better story list" and share the things (well, the formal things anyway) that I'm planning and dreaming about for this new year that is in front of me, this beginning to a new decade.

• Learn how L. makes frittata, hamburger soup, and pita chips (these are some staples of our roommate cooking, that I never make.  L. returns to New Zealand at the beginning of March and I want to learn to prepare these particular recipes before she leaves.)
• Alphabet photography and scrapbooking project (a post on this to come in the next day or two)
• Develop my photography skills
• See U2 live in concert (only a major life dream - and one I am definitely going to fulfill this year thanks to the tickets I've already purchased for a June show)
• attend at least one "real" yoga class (just because I'm curious, and because I've enjoyed the yoga videos and would like to do the real deal at least one time)
• read the equivalent of at least 1 non-fiction book per month.  basically, read at least twelve non-fiction books this year.
• continue to exercise consistently
• continue to consistently use a regime of vitamins
• cook at least 2 recipes a month and take photos of them (I love cooking, it's one of my current favorite creative expressions.  I also love feeding people.  The goal is simply to expand my repertoire and find some new creative expression.)
• work on significantly reducing my debt load (thankful for the good appointment at the bank just before the new year began that should really help with achieving this)
• continue to write Daily 5 lists, and to search for joy and things to be thankful for in the midst of the challenges of daily life
• Embrace Joy
• Choose Life (consistently - choose to really live)
• settle into and be involved somehow with a church or house church (this one is hard for me, but I'm feeling the need to really try to find community around me again)
• work on making new friends (again, a real challenge for an introvert who would prefer to spend the vast majority of her time alone, but I have been missing having community and a support network of caring, praying friends who are near enough in location to give hugs when they're needed, so I'm going to make an effort at this, hopefully via finding a church or house church)
• Continue the rhythm of blogging regularly (love the chance to just show up somewhere and talk about my day)
• Purge and simplify wherever possible (I'm likely moving again within the next few months, I have way more stuff than I likely need, and I'm sincerely wanting, within reason to really limit my consumerism and consumption)
• Save money for a rainy day (or for travelling, a new car, or a new laptop since I'm pretty sure either George or my trusty macbook are going to keel over in the next year, and since, well, I just love to travel)
• Finish memorizing the book of Philippians (considering I'm only about 15 of 104 verses in, and having a hard time finding a rhythm of working at this, this one will require a bit of discipline)
• Work on learning to be okay with (and not feel guilty about) spending money on my personal appearance (ie. haircuts, the occasional manicure or pedicure - I've felt guilty for a long time for spending money on myself in this way... it's okay to buy things like books or whatever, but to spend money on my hair or nails always seemed so frivolous and wrong.  Part of the journey of learning to really love myself for me is being willing to care about how I look, and that means being willing to spend a bit of money on how I look.)
• travel somewhere (LP/CA - you have any suggestions ??? :) )
• because of stress and illness over the past two years, I lost a significant amount of weight.  now that I'm slowly regaining my health, I'd like to maintain that weight loss (not gain it back) via the other things I already mentioned about diet, vitamins, exercise etc.
• be intentional in writing down the important stories (on my blog, in my journal - there are some stories that are important from this past year that months later I still haven't recorded because I wasn't intentional about sitting down and doing it.  I'd like to be more intentional with that in the coming year.)

So, that's my list.  For the moment at least.  Like I said, I'm sort of infamous for the morphing flexibility of my lists, so I'm sure it will grow and shift and change.  But, for the moment, I'm pleased with it.  It was a list I wrote prayerfully, and I think encourages the things I value, and forces me to choose regularly to really live.  As I said, there will be more posts to come in the next few days surrounding all of this, but for tonight, I have a daily 5 list still to write, and then I need to quiet down and head for sleep I think.

Who Are You to Yourself?

This quiz title made me smile.  Mostly because it seemed like a good quiz for the beginning of a new year.  The questions made me smile because they were all based around waves and being near the ocean - I've had many, many discussions about waves the last few years, and I love oceans, and large bodies of water in general.  The results were actually fairly accurate of me as well.

You Take Yourself Seriously

You see yourself as a thoughtful and introspective person. You are very intelligent. You think other people see you as friendly, happy, and charming. You tend to get along well with everyone. You want to see yourself as independent and free wheeling. You'd like to do your own thing more often. You identify as a compassionate and accepting person. You pride yourself on being forgiving.

Who Are You to Yourself?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

Planning a Day

It's 11:10 am or so, and for the first time in months I didn't eat breakfast several hours ago.  As we speak I'm munching on a granola bar that will serve as breakfast.

I woke up for the first time around 8, but I'm trying to be disciplined in this time off from work to really rest - not just immediately roll out of bed and start doing.  So, at 8 I rolled over and told myself that I was not getting up until at least nine, and that I might as well just go back to sleep.  Surprisingly (for me) it worked, and I slept until close to 10!

I've spent the last hour or so catching up on blogs and checking out some new ones.  Just after the new year is a great time to read blogs because everyone is talking about newness, goals, dreams, and practical ways to get to those things.  And, well, I may have mentioned at some point that I have a thing for newness.

So, I'm sitting here, propped up in bed, and considering the day ahead.  There is only one non-negotiable on my list for today - make it to Mom and Dad's during daylight hours to get Dad to show me how to manage a couple of simple maintenance tasks for George on my own.

The rest of the list for the day looks something like this, with total flexibility for time, fun changes in plan, or just the desire to really rest and enjoy one the last full day I'll have the house to myself. (Tomorrow my roommate returns, and Monday we both go back to work.)

• finish cleaning up my bedroom
• write at least one blog post with hopes, dreams, goals, thoughts on story, and whatever else strikes my fancy for the new year (there are a couple brewing - the list post, the alphabet post, and a couple posts looking back at 2009, things that surprised me, and so forth)
  
• clean my closet
• spend time reading
• connect in some manner with a dear friend a long way away
• email A. in Toronto and set up a time for a skype catch-up and pray together date
• send a thank you email to a relative in the states for a Christmas gift
• connect with a couple of local friends to set up times to get together in the coming few weeks
• clean the bathroom

Who knows... I could go to my parent's house to learn how to better care for George, and get invited to stay, and I'd likely accept, for a while anyway.  Or maybe I'll just hole up in my house for the entire day, with movies and music playing, and clean.