At work on Sunday, as I once again sought to remember worship songs to hum along to while I worked away on brainless and mundane tasks on my own, God brought to mind a song that had a great deal of significance in my life a couple of years ago.
Looking back, it is a song that very closely and carefully describes a whole variety of times in my faith journey. Initially, it was significant because it spoke of my longings for God, the struggle I had in deciding if I would accept and make my own the God of my parents, and eventually, as the song ends, reached the point of deciding to pursue God and faith. That was about six years ago, near the beginning of my last year of high school.
As I came back to the song again on Sunday morning, I was surprised by how closely the same lyrics apply to the journey of the last two or three years, and even of the last six months. As I've struggled to understand and accept the role of the Holy Spirit I've wrestled, felt so very alone, and finally plunged in with abandon to the life God is leading me towards.
The song, you ask? It's titled simply "Thirsty" and is written by Chris Rice.
I'm so thirsty, I can feel it
Burnin' through the furthest corners of my soul. Deep desire, can describe this
nameless urge that drives me somewhere
though I don't know where to go
Seems I've heard about a river from someone who's been
And they tell me once you reach it, oh you'll never thirst again
So I have to find the river, somehow my life depends on the river
Holy River, I'm so thirsty.
Other waters I've been drinkin'
But they always leave me empty like before
Satisfaction - all I'm askin'
Could I really be this thirsty if there weren't something more?
I'm so thirsty, I can feel it
Burnin' through the furthest corners of my soul. Deep desire, can't describe this
nameless urge that drives me somewhere
though I don't know where to go
I'm on the shore now of the wildest river
And I kneel and beg for mercy from the skies
But no one answers - gotta take my chances
'Cause somethin' deep inside me's cryin'
"This is why you are alive."
So I plunge into the river with all that I am
Prayin' this will be the river where I'll never thirst again
I'm abandoned to the river and now my life depends on the river
Holy River.
I'm so thirsty.