Daily 5 - Day 119

Today's Daily "5":

1. Making it home safely in very snowy weather. It took an hour and a half, but I was really just so grateful to have made it home in one piece and without any problems. (I think I'm going to take the train tomorrow... never thought I'd voluntarily do that!)
2. I'm pleased that even after a frustrating drive home, I found the motivation to follow through on a commitment to myself to really fight for my health, and to still do the yoga workout I had planned. That is a change in me that I would never have predicted - voluntarily exercising.
3. I'm thankful that in the midst of really dark days, there is hope.
4. I'm thankful for seasons like Advent and Lent that remind me what it is to really and truly long for the Light to Come.
5. Someone told me today that I seem "cheerier" and "more myself" the last month or so. That was really encouraging, particularly on a day when I was really struggling with sadness.
6. I'm thankful that I had a bit of quiet time to myself tonight before my roommate got home with a friend in tow.
7. I'm thankful for mango rooibos tea, and a couple of the cookies I baked on the weekend.
8. I'm thankful for the smile that came when a friend was teasing me about my plans to take the train tomorrow, reminding me of all the "adventures" I have collected over the years on the train.
9. I'm thankful that I can catch up on all the episodes from my favorite television shows online
10. I'm thankful for the little things (email from a friend, phone call from a family member, chats with a coworker) that remind me that I am loved and not alone.
11. (BONUS ITEM!!) I'm thankful for an ipod, which makes driving for an hour and a half to travel 15 kilometers a much more bearable undertaking. Tonight I listened to one sermon, and one and a half interviews with some of my favorite authors/speakers. It was good times, despite the nasty roads and the slighly frozen windshield wipers that made seeing out the front window a bit challenging!
    

Point of Tears

I'm tired today.

I've had less of the truly sleepless nights lately, and I sometimes forget what that does to my emotional coping abilities.

And in some ways I'm grieving. Relationships that have changed or ended, but other things too. Seems for the last few months, at least once a week or so, I've gotten terribly bad news from various people I care about. Terminal illnesses and death and other very sad situations.

And today some of those weigh heavy, and I am praying, and near the point of tears.

This post at The Ragamuffin Diva encouraged me this morning. "Rest. Get up. Rest Again. Get up again." That seems manageable today. Sort of at least.

Wednesday Morning, Still Praying

It's Wednesday morning.

For those of you who know me, you know that Wednesday's tend to be for me like Monday's are for most people in the world.

I basically didn't sleep last night. It was one of those nights filled with disturbed dreams and floating prayers and lots of simple wakefulness.

It's snowing again.

And our receptionist is late.

I need to do an errand ASAP once she arrives, and then, then I'm staying in the office until the day ends.

I'm hoping the commute is a bit shorter tonight.

What normally takes 20 minutes has been taking at least an hour this week. Some combination of overflow traffic and roads that are still not in great condition.

Home, yoga, dinner. Hopefully a quiet evening of resting.

And on it goes.

My heart hurts today. There are so many around me right now who are hurting deeply. So many that I love and care about. And I find myself praying deeply for them, for myself, this Advent season, "I am waiting. Come Lord Jesus."