Reading.

I took a little while tonight to remind myself that I actually do love to read.

I've forgotten a bit lately.

You see, reading was always my escape. I'd lose myself in a novel to avoid or escape reality.

And lately, well, lately, Jesus, and a few trusted friends (whose voices in my life Jesus has a tendency to borrow) have been making the point that perhaps escaping into a fictional reality to avoid my own reality might not be the healthiest decision around. And, having seen the effects of the last few escapist trips on my mood and my ability to be satisfied with my own life, I'd say that Jesus and those friends are probably right.

So, most of my reading of late has been stuff that has spoken to where I'm at in life, and challenged me to live and think and experience my own reality more deeply, and to find healing in the midst of that.

But dang, have I missed that escapism.

I took time tonight to relax in a bath tub and read some essays from Anne Lamott's "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith". No escapism in that writing. Just lots of earthy reality, balanced somehow by humor. And I remembered that I really do love to read. That sometimes truth comes packaged in humor. And that it's okay to laugh and love something - that loving it doesn't automatically make it escapism.

I was also taking the time to remember that I love reading because I'm embarking on a book that I suspect will be a bit more of a challenging read, and I wanted to remind myself that God speaks to me in written form, even when it's not something that makes me laugh.

I made it through the translators introduction (it's a manuscript from the 16th century) and the author's introduction before remembering that even as a history student I hated the way medieval authors wrote. As a historian I can tell you that all that self-demeaning stuff is typical of the time period, and not at all out of character. As a reader, I can tell you that the word I wanted to use in the previous sentence instead of stuff was "drivel" and that two pages of it sent me in search of chocolate. I'm going to have to replenish my stash to make it through this one I think!

And with that, I'm off to read some more. Maybe I'll reward myself for reading the first chapter with a bit more Anne Lamott.

Celebrating Being Alive - Henri Nouwen

another thought from Henri...

Celebrating Being Alive

Birthdays are so important. On our birthdays we celebrate being alive. On our birthdays people can say to us, "Thank you for being!" Birthday presents are signs of our families' and friends' joy that we are part of their lives. Little children often look forward to their birthdays for months. Their birthdays are their big days, when they are the center of attention and all their friends come to celebrate.

We should never forget our birthdays or the birthdays of those who are close to us. Birthdays keep us childlike. They remind us that what is important is not what we do or accomplish, not what we have or who we know, but that we are, here and now. On birthdays let us be grateful for the gift of life.

Words that Feed Us - Henri Nouwen

another great thought from Henri Nouwen...

Words That Feed Us

When we talk to one another, we often talk about what happened, what we are doing, or what we plan to do. Often we say, "What's up?" and we encourage one another to share the details of our daily lives. But often we want to hear something else. We want to hear, "I've been thinking of you today," or "I missed you," or "I wish you were here," or "I really love you." It is not always easy to say these words, but such words can deepen our bonds with one another.

Telling someone "I love you" in whatever way is always delivering good news. Nobody will respond by saying, "Well, I knew that already, you don't have to say it again"! Words of love and affirmation are like bread. We need them each day, over and over. They keep us alive inside.

Friday Morning I am...

I am...

• constantly amazed at how the oddest things can evoke memories. Scents. Noises. A texture. Any one of those things can throw me immediately back in time, and it always catches me off guard.
• having trouble regulating body heat this week. Practically, this means that I take my magic bags to work with me, and reheat them through the day, keeping myself warm.
• sipping a cup of passion tea.
• glad I made the drive in without anything on the stereo this morning. Just quiet, and a little bit of me praying out loud.
• looking forward to watching last night's episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice on the internet this weekend.
• wearing a very cute pink with red polka dots thermal top that I bought last weekend. I saw it in the store several months ago, when I bought the same top in black and white, and wanted it, but didn't want to buy two. It was on sale for $7 last weekend when I was back in that shop, and I immediately purchased it.
• generally not a fan of pink, but something about this top called my name. And it is quite cosy, which is great for a week where I can't seem to properly heat my body.
• looking forward to a quiet long weekend. A wedding dress fitting with my roommate on Monday, and a family birthday party Monday night, but generally just me and lots of quiet time to rest and read and write and think.
• re-reading Anne Lamott's "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith" and remembering all over again why I fell in love with her writing, and feeling grateful that there are other slightly neurotic and willing to admit it lovers of Jesus out there. Especially ones that write with that sort of humor and grace. Even when I don't agree with all of their politics!
• glad that I live someplace where clean water is readily availalble. I love water.
• glad for a heart that is somewhat more at rest right now.
• learning much about joy, and how closely connected joy and sorrow or suffering really are.
• waiting for the right words to flow to describe some of the deep things the Lord has been speaking to my heart about his promise to shield me.
• continually amazed by how much it helps my mood just to be able to wear jeans to work on Friday's.
• going to do some work tasks I actually really enjoy today.
• going to enjoy my usual Friday evening free of roommates in our house tonight - I love the quiet!
• looking forward to lunch with a co-worker today, and loving the fact that she's buying as an apology for a very funny joke she played on me earlier this week.
• looking at a calendar and realizing that it's Friday the Thirteenth, and remembering the hilarious stories my best friend used to tell about working in the hospital as a nurse on a full moon or a Friday the thirteenth.
• missing my best friend when I remember those sorts of stories, and going to send her an "I'm thinking about you" email, since she's on the other side of the planet at the moment.
• off to start the day.

Fire again...

Seems an odd way to protest, but catching my attention nonetheless.

Man Sets Himself Ablaze in Downtown Calgary