Last night I had the same dream I’ve had several nights in a row now. The only difference is that on waking this morning enough fragments remained for me to consciously put words around what I’d been dreaming.
I’ve been dreaming of rubble. Acres of it in every direction. Rock and stone and concrete. Shattered. Desolate and grey. The remnants of what once was, now leveled, only uneven ground remaining. There were people picking their way across it, sometimes people I knew, sometimes myself. In a moment reminiscent of jerky documentary footage, I watched as a couple I know walked together. The “camera” in my mind zoomed in as they walked, surveying the destruction, and reaching for each other’s hands. That last image of their clasped hands as they moved on.
I passed the night in that space somewhere between waking and sleeping. Not fully present in either my own reality, or that of my dreams. Aware of my bedroom, of the space around me, but aware too of moving through this field of rubble, and watching as others navigated that same space.
The dreams are slowly intensifying again. Coming more frequently and vividly. I’m never sure if they should be welcome, or an object of regret. They simply are. A strange and vivid reality of my existence. Sometimes understood, and sometimes remaining in the grey and cloudy realm of confusion.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Being Blessed - Henri Nouwen
Being Blessed
Jesus is the Blessed One. When Jesus was baptised in the Jordan river a voice came from heaven saying: "You are my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on you" (Mark 1:11). This was the blessing that sustained Jesus during his life. Whatever happened to him - praise or blame - he clung to his blessing; he always remembered that he was the favourite child of God.
Jesus came into the world to share that blessing with us. He came to open our ears to the voice that also says to us, "You are my beloved son, you are my beloved daughter, my favour rests on you ." When we can hear that voice, trust in it, and always remember it, especially during dark times, we can live our lives as God's blessed children and find the strength to share that blessing with others.
Jesus is the Blessed One. When Jesus was baptised in the Jordan river a voice came from heaven saying: "You are my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on you" (Mark 1:11). This was the blessing that sustained Jesus during his life. Whatever happened to him - praise or blame - he clung to his blessing; he always remembered that he was the favourite child of God.
Jesus came into the world to share that blessing with us. He came to open our ears to the voice that also says to us, "You are my beloved son, you are my beloved daughter, my favour rests on you ." When we can hear that voice, trust in it, and always remember it, especially during dark times, we can live our lives as God's blessed children and find the strength to share that blessing with others.
Becoming Food for the World - Henri Nouwen
Becoming Food For the World
When Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, he summarized in these gestures his own life. Jesus is chosen from all eternity, blessed at his baptism in the Jordan River, broken on the cross, and given as bread to the world. Being chosen, blessed, broken, and given is the sacred journey of the Son of God, Jesus the Christ.
When we take bread, bless it, break it, and give it with the words "This is the Body of Christ," we express our commitment to make our lives conform to the life of Christ. We too want to live as people chosen, blessed, and broken, and thus become food for the world.
When Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, he summarized in these gestures his own life. Jesus is chosen from all eternity, blessed at his baptism in the Jordan River, broken on the cross, and given as bread to the world. Being chosen, blessed, broken, and given is the sacred journey of the Son of God, Jesus the Christ.
When we take bread, bless it, break it, and give it with the words "This is the Body of Christ," we express our commitment to make our lives conform to the life of Christ. We too want to live as people chosen, blessed, and broken, and thus become food for the world.
A Time to Receive and a Time to Give - Henri Nouwen
A Time to Receive and a Time to Give
It is important to know when we can give attention and when we need attention. Often we are inclined to give, give, and give without ever asking anything in return. We may think that this is a sign of generosity or even heroism. But it might be little else than a proud attitude that says: "I don't need help from others. I only want to give." When we keep giving without receiving we burn out quickly. Only when we pay careful attention to our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs can we be, and remain, joyful givers.
There is a time to give and a time to receive. We need equal time for both if we want to live healthy lives.
It is important to know when we can give attention and when we need attention. Often we are inclined to give, give, and give without ever asking anything in return. We may think that this is a sign of generosity or even heroism. But it might be little else than a proud attitude that says: "I don't need help from others. I only want to give." When we keep giving without receiving we burn out quickly. Only when we pay careful attention to our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs can we be, and remain, joyful givers.
There is a time to give and a time to receive. We need equal time for both if we want to live healthy lives.
Another Full Week
I missed most of the day of work on Friday when I went home ill.
I came back to the office this morning to find that the stack of work on my desk had multiplied mysteriously over the weekend. It will take a great deal of efficiency, planning, and hard work to accomplish everything that must be done in the four days that I’m working this week.
Last night was good. Dinner with good friends. (Great food if I do say so myself!) Then a trip to a local ice cream parlor, and a short walk by the river, below the dam, in a spot I’ve never been before, despite living near it for nearly my entire life.
I had my lights out shortly after 11:00 p.m. I can’t remember the last time I was in bed with the lights out that early.
I slept poorly, waking often, disturbed by dreams. Not quite present in either reality or the world of my dreams. Living somewhere in between.
I have a burn blister, about ½ inch long and ¼ inch wide on my left forearm. A cooking incident last night. It’s ugly, but surprisingly not painful for the moment.
This promises to be another full week.
Grocery shopping and household stuff with my roommate tonight.
A tea date with a dear friend who I see rarely since she lives in another province tomorrow night.
Wednesday night will hopefully be slower. Again, some last household things so that we’re fully settled in our new home.
And Thursday another dear friend arrives from out of town. We’re headed for the mountains for a few days on Friday morning.
I came back to the office this morning to find that the stack of work on my desk had multiplied mysteriously over the weekend. It will take a great deal of efficiency, planning, and hard work to accomplish everything that must be done in the four days that I’m working this week.
Last night was good. Dinner with good friends. (Great food if I do say so myself!) Then a trip to a local ice cream parlor, and a short walk by the river, below the dam, in a spot I’ve never been before, despite living near it for nearly my entire life.
I had my lights out shortly after 11:00 p.m. I can’t remember the last time I was in bed with the lights out that early.
I slept poorly, waking often, disturbed by dreams. Not quite present in either reality or the world of my dreams. Living somewhere in between.
I have a burn blister, about ½ inch long and ¼ inch wide on my left forearm. A cooking incident last night. It’s ugly, but surprisingly not painful for the moment.
This promises to be another full week.
Grocery shopping and household stuff with my roommate tonight.
A tea date with a dear friend who I see rarely since she lives in another province tomorrow night.
Wednesday night will hopefully be slower. Again, some last household things so that we’re fully settled in our new home.
And Thursday another dear friend arrives from out of town. We’re headed for the mountains for a few days on Friday morning.
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