- two beautiful little Eastern European girls on the bus with their mom (aunt?) this morning. They had infectious and mischievous smiles that brought a smile to my own face.
- the doctor's appointment I had today went so much better than I was imagining it might.
- I spent 15 minutes or so chatting with a random stranger at the bus stop, while we both stood in the stormy weather and waited for the bus to arrive. What made me smile about this was not so much the conversation itself, but the fact that I was open to it, that I wasn't so lost within my self, so internal, that I wasn't aware of the other person, or choosing to ignore her.
- The tech who drew my blood for the bloodwork my doctor ordered was really good. I'm not excessively queasy, but I don't love needles, and she was very efficient and didn't hurt me too much.
- The pharmacy had the meds I needed refilled in stock. I've learned the hard way that I can't always expect this to be the case.
- Because of the snow storm, my office got closed for the day. So, what was going to be a half-day off to go to my medical appointments turned into a full day, and likely won't cost me the half-day of personal time I'd planned on.
- Because I was in medical offices and a lab, I couldn't have my phone on. Instead I sat and read "Jesus Freak" and loved what I was reading
- Candles lit all around my bedroom this afternoon
- Scented oil burning in the oil burner
- a really helpful guy at the gas station tonight when I had some trouble with one of my tires
- Feeling quite sheltered and cushioned by God amidst all the crazy life has thrown my way this week.
- Finished reading "Jesus Freak". So good, down to the last words.
- organic dried apples
- Just chatting on the phone with T. for a bit tonight. There's something about talking with family on a really rough day that always helps for me. (Of course it also almost always means that I cry, but I'm learning that that's not so unhealthy, or something I need to be embarrassed about either.)
- Tomorrow is Friday. I'm almost at the end of this goofy week.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 259
So, as days and weeks go, this one has kind of stunk. And with that in mind, as I headed out to start my day this morning, I made special note of anything and everything that made me smile, jotting a bunch of the items on a notepad in my purse. It was a worthwhile exercise I think, and certainly makes writing the daily 5 list tonight far easier. So, today's daily 5:
On a Brighter Note
Lest the world think I'm totally bogged down (though I am somewhat overwhelmed) by the most recent challenge life is throwing at me with this car situation, let me share a few happy things. (And, because I was already having a hard day when the day started, I was particularly careful to note the things that made me smile today, and have a long list for tonight's daily 5.)
I had my last medical appointment this morning. Pending the results of some blood work I had done, I've been pronounced fit for another year of life. I have instructions on a couple of little things (mostly dietary to see how they affect energy) to keep an eye on, and I'm good to go.
That this appointment went well was very encouraging. I'd been dreading this one, particularly since the last time I saw one of the doctors at this clinic, they prescribed a particular medication that I was initially hesitant to go on, and ended up deciding not to use. The physician I saw this morning was much easier to talk with, and we discussed some ways of managing the hormone imbalances that seem to create crazy lows in my mood from time to time, without going on medication long-term. That made me very, very happy. I like a doctor, who, however she feels about the more natural remedies that I prefer, will work with me, instead of demeaning me.
That appointment, one which I'd been dreading, left me encouraged, and relieved actually, and for that bright spot in a gross week, I'm grateful.
I had my last medical appointment this morning. Pending the results of some blood work I had done, I've been pronounced fit for another year of life. I have instructions on a couple of little things (mostly dietary to see how they affect energy) to keep an eye on, and I'm good to go.
That this appointment went well was very encouraging. I'd been dreading this one, particularly since the last time I saw one of the doctors at this clinic, they prescribed a particular medication that I was initially hesitant to go on, and ended up deciding not to use. The physician I saw this morning was much easier to talk with, and we discussed some ways of managing the hormone imbalances that seem to create crazy lows in my mood from time to time, without going on medication long-term. That made me very, very happy. I like a doctor, who, however she feels about the more natural remedies that I prefer, will work with me, instead of demeaning me.
That appointment, one which I'd been dreading, left me encouraged, and relieved actually, and for that bright spot in a gross week, I'm grateful.
Rough Couple Days
Yesterday, around 4:00, I got a phone call from my car insurance company. The car insurance company I just signed up with, when I got a car again. Two weeks ago. Yeah, that one. Seems they reviewed the file, and because of my driving record (three at-fault accidents in the last five years), they needed to increase the premium. Okay, no big deal. I'd been expecting my rates would go up. And then I choked. Seems they will increase by 5x. That definitely falls in the category of absolutely not at all financially feasible. In any world of my finances, fantasy or reality.
I did some calling today, and it's looking like that is going to be the consistent story. Because I got my license at an age quite a bit older than sixteen, and because of the accidents, the rates are going to be astronomical until one of the accidents is six years in the past (which is about two years away still). Then they'll come down a little. Still not great, but a bit.
What that means is that the car that I bought just over two weeks ago most likely needs to be sold, and the freedom I'd cherished is gone again.
In the good moments, I can find positives in this. It's better for my financial situation. It's that much more money (from insurance and gas) going to my debt every month, or to savings, or towards rent someplace other than Grandma's basement. I can still rent a car for the occasional weekend. It's summer (or will be when the crazy winter storm we're having right now blows over) and that makes walking and busing a much nicer option for the next 4-5 months or so. I care about the environment and drove an old car that likely wasn't exactly low emissions, now I won't be driving it. I get built in exercise, walking everywhere. It gives me lots of thinking and alone time on transit - more fun, now, that I got the iphone.
To be honest, though, choosing to be thankful and joyful, even in this, kind of sucks right now.
My pride feels bruised, a little. It was already smarting with the move into Grandma's (who moves back in with family at 26? I've been teased a little for this, by some less than generous friends, and that hasn't helped with my pride), and knowing that I'll now be dependent on others for rides, likely for the next couple of years, is not helping the situation.
What I'd really like right now is a hug from my mom and time to sob my eyes out. (I have done my share of crying yesterday and today.) But my mom is in Phoenix, and part of being a grown up means that I get to own even this. This is my bad driving record. It was my choice to put off gettting my driver's license until I was 20. I'm not a great driver and I know it. It's part of why I haven't been driving to work since getting this new car. It stresses me out. But it stings, and it's mine to own. All of this is mine. And I know that. And I know that even in this I can survive and likely even thrive.
But just in this moment, it really sucks.
It helped a little, to get an email from a dear friend, understanding that this is a loss of a much needed freedom, given my current living situation, and reminding me that it's okay to feel sad
Tomorrow, I'll pick up the pieces and begin making arrangements to cancel the insurance policy and see if my brother is interested in buying my car.
Tonight, I'm going to enjoy driving it to house church for what will probably be the last time.
And next week, when Mom is home, I'll probably cry on her shoulder a little, too.
I did some calling today, and it's looking like that is going to be the consistent story. Because I got my license at an age quite a bit older than sixteen, and because of the accidents, the rates are going to be astronomical until one of the accidents is six years in the past (which is about two years away still). Then they'll come down a little. Still not great, but a bit.
What that means is that the car that I bought just over two weeks ago most likely needs to be sold, and the freedom I'd cherished is gone again.
In the good moments, I can find positives in this. It's better for my financial situation. It's that much more money (from insurance and gas) going to my debt every month, or to savings, or towards rent someplace other than Grandma's basement. I can still rent a car for the occasional weekend. It's summer (or will be when the crazy winter storm we're having right now blows over) and that makes walking and busing a much nicer option for the next 4-5 months or so. I care about the environment and drove an old car that likely wasn't exactly low emissions, now I won't be driving it. I get built in exercise, walking everywhere. It gives me lots of thinking and alone time on transit - more fun, now, that I got the iphone.
To be honest, though, choosing to be thankful and joyful, even in this, kind of sucks right now.
My pride feels bruised, a little. It was already smarting with the move into Grandma's (who moves back in with family at 26? I've been teased a little for this, by some less than generous friends, and that hasn't helped with my pride), and knowing that I'll now be dependent on others for rides, likely for the next couple of years, is not helping the situation.
What I'd really like right now is a hug from my mom and time to sob my eyes out. (I have done my share of crying yesterday and today.) But my mom is in Phoenix, and part of being a grown up means that I get to own even this. This is my bad driving record. It was my choice to put off gettting my driver's license until I was 20. I'm not a great driver and I know it. It's part of why I haven't been driving to work since getting this new car. It stresses me out. But it stings, and it's mine to own. All of this is mine. And I know that. And I know that even in this I can survive and likely even thrive.
But just in this moment, it really sucks.
It helped a little, to get an email from a dear friend, understanding that this is a loss of a much needed freedom, given my current living situation, and reminding me that it's okay to feel sad
Tomorrow, I'll pick up the pieces and begin making arrangements to cancel the insurance policy and see if my brother is interested in buying my car.
Tonight, I'm going to enjoy driving it to house church for what will probably be the last time.
And next week, when Mom is home, I'll probably cry on her shoulder a little, too.
Stuff to Check Out
I'll be here later with some more random thoughts on the day, but for the moment, here are a couple articles I found interesting...
This article about some knife attacks in China caught my attention. Not just because of the violence against children, but because of the immense percentage of the adult Chinese population that is believed to suffer from undiagnosed and untreated mental illnesses. 17%. That's huge. It was interesting to me, too, that this is in large part attributed to the Cultural Revolution which frowned on psychiatry, and has created a subsequent social stigma, and huge lack of mental health professionals.
I laughed really hard at a post on "Stuff Christians Like" today. The "You're Rich Globally" post. Which is so totally true, but seriously, it was funny to see the satire in the post.
This article about some knife attacks in China caught my attention. Not just because of the violence against children, but because of the immense percentage of the adult Chinese population that is believed to suffer from undiagnosed and untreated mental illnesses. 17%. That's huge. It was interesting to me, too, that this is in large part attributed to the Cultural Revolution which frowned on psychiatry, and has created a subsequent social stigma, and huge lack of mental health professionals.
I laughed really hard at a post on "Stuff Christians Like" today. The "You're Rich Globally" post. Which is so totally true, but seriously, it was funny to see the satire in the post.
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