The last Sunday morning that I was laying in bed with my laptop on top of me,
blogging, I was in California.
I'm having, in some ways, at least, another of those early mornings.
This time I'm in bed at mom and dad's (I stayed here last night.).
I've been awake since 6. My body seems to refuse to be asleep for longer than 4-6 hours at a time, and since I made the effort to go to bed earlier last night than I have been, I woke early.
And then laid here, wishing I was still sleeping. Knowing my body could really use those extra couple of hours of sleep.
It's another of those (relatively rare in my life) Sunday's where I'm actually going to go to church.
To be honest, I'll probably go to church and, when the time comes where I'm supposed to be paying attention to the sermon, I'll likely pull out my journal so it looks like I'm taking notes, and just spend some time writing. Is that horrible? I've been using that ruse at a whole variety of churches for years.
I have an hour and a half or so to roll out of bed, dress for the day, eat something, and join mom on the way out the door.
I'm having early morning pondering and moments of frustration.
I'm reflecting on the irony of the fact that after a week in which I saw more close friends in person than I have in ages (and even managed to talk on the phone or skype with three of the closest who are far away), I'm feeling lonely.
I'm thinking about the things that the week to come will hold.
Time with family from out of town.
Hopefully connecting with a friend to get some important information I've been waiting on.
Is it shallow that one of the things I'm really looking forward to is catching the newest episode of The Amazing Race?
The week needs to hold time spent sending off some resumes.
And time spent quiet, and alone, writing and reading and praying.
It will hold one of my favorite house church events - the week that happens every month or two where we gather and cook and eat together, setting aside any agenda for the evening other than sharing food and enjoying each other's company.
So I lay here in bed, with a TV by internet show playing quietly in the background, and I'm working to shake off the early morning fears and melancholy. I'll get up and smile and laugh. I'll make the choice to enjoy the people I'm spending the day with. I'll go to church and worship.
(And I'll wish, just for a second, that I was still laying in bed in California, and that when I got to church I was going to be greeted by a dear friend, and that there would be palm trees outdoors along the way!)
