Plans - Dashed and Future

I had great plans to hole up tonight, enjoy a quiet house and rest.

I came home to discover that the bible study my roommate usually hosts on Thursdays had been move to tonight to accomodate some scheduling changes.

It was loud in my house. Five women laughing and talking loudly, discussing, then cooking and eating together.

I wanted to spend an hour or so in the bathtub, soaking, and resting. That didn't happen either.

I'm tired. This week has been full. Full of pressing in, of reading and thinking and way too many people. I need a break. It's a good thing that this is a short week of work. I don't think I'd make it two more days. One will be enough of a challenge.

Here's my new plan. My roommate, and our houseguest will be out tomorrow night. I'm going to enjoy a silent house. I'm going to quietly break bread tomorrow night. I'm going to read, and to rest.

Tomorrow, I'm finishing out a fast, and beginning a new one of sorts. I'm praying and working and listening and reading.

Those are my plans. Quiet. Books. Prayer. Jesus. Bread.

Moving slower, healing deeper

I was listening to Jason Upton's "Trusting the Angels" album this morning, and found myself quite caught by the following lines. So descriptive of this Lenten season, and the broader season of my life right now. I'm moving slower, and it's taking a little longer, but I'm healing deeper and feeling stronger. This is a painful space, but a good space.

Now I’m moving slower and it takes a little longer
But I’m healing deeper and I’m feeling stronger
It’s tearing down defenses and opening my senses
To the wonder of a lover crying out

Come now let’s reason together
Come now where blood turns to wool
Come now where fire is the measure
Come now where fools turn to gold