A friend paid my home the highest compliment I could ever ask for the other night. A friend with a great deal of spiritual discernment. She said, "I like your house. It's peaceful. I feel the Lord's presence here." That's been my prayer for this place since we moved in... That Jesus would be present in my home to all those who enter it.
I hadn't really thought about that comment until I walked into my front door tonight.
There's something about atmosphere that either adds clarity or confusion. I've been really sensitive to the spiritual atmosphere in various places lately - it's a new thing for me, and is taking some getting used to. I've also been picking up the emotions of other people - beginning to feel them. I sort of tend to forget that these things have been affecting me because it's so new...
I walked in my front door tonight, and my whole mood changed.
I realized quite suddenly that some of the things that made my day feel completely miserable, were not actually mine... some of the hopeless and despair, the anger and frustration that had descended belonged to some of the people I work with, and to the atmosphere. So I spent a large portion of my day, exhausted, frustrated, angry, fighting off things that weren't even mine.
Let's just say that I'm really, really glad to be home for the evening.
I rented several episodes of "Studio Sixty on the Sunset Strip". I love Aaron Sorkin's writing. I love his idealistic characters. I love the fast and witty dialogue.
I have books nearby - approximately the same titles I listed in my post last night. I've lit candles, I'm going to make tea pretty soon. I'm going to eat a mandarin, and I'm going to rest for an evening.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Lisa is...
I love the "status" function on facebook... it's become a game to me to come up with some sort of either blunt or cryptic sentence describing my state of being at the moment I'm writing it.
Here are some possibilities for right now (you'll have to look me up on facebook to see what I choose!)
Lisa is needing a night of sleep without dreams.
Lisa is getting paid to kill trees (death by photocopying) this week.
Lisa is experiencing a great deal of sudden onset work stress. (Because just at this moment I am!)
Lisa is extraordinarly glad that it is already half-way through the Friday work day.
Lisa is suddenly completely spent - mentally, emotionally physically, spiritually.
Lisa is feeling like crying.
Here are some possibilities for right now (you'll have to look me up on facebook to see what I choose!)
Lisa is needing a night of sleep without dreams.
Lisa is getting paid to kill trees (death by photocopying) this week.
Lisa is experiencing a great deal of sudden onset work stress. (Because just at this moment I am!)
Lisa is extraordinarly glad that it is already half-way through the Friday work day.
Lisa is suddenly completely spent - mentally, emotionally physically, spiritually.
Lisa is feeling like crying.
Dreaming....(again)
The last couple of nights have been restless again.
I'm learning to be okay with the moments when my dreams are clear and vivid - even if they're disturbing, because at least I can then write them down, pray through and process them. And Jesus seems to be speaking quite a lot in my dreams again lately - which (while I still wish at times He'd pick another time and method) is generally a very good thing.
It's the moments like the last two nights that I don't like. The ones where I wake up in the morning, and know I've been dreaming through the whole night - flashes of images and emotions, but nothing is retained. Just a general uneasyness, and a sense of things poking at the edges of my conciousness, trying to be remembered, and just not quite making it.
I've learned that sometimes my soul prays while I'm asleep. This seems totally bizarre to my conceptions of prayer from my growing up years, but there are days when I wake, and know, quite simply, that my soul has been taking advantage of the fact that my mind is asleep to talk with Jesus about the cares and concerns of my heart. I actually really like this most times - though not exactly completely restful, I do wake up generally peaceful, and lighter, for having the cares of my heart communicated to the Lord in a deep way.
I think these last few nights have been a combination of prayer, and something else, and I'm tired, and, quite honestly, hoping for dreamless sleep over the next few nights.
There are things poking, nudging, rattling at the edges of my conciousness again today - things from my sleep the last two nights. Not sure what they are, but am feeling tired, unsettled...
Needing a day of rest - the physical kind, and the spiritual kind. A whole day, or maybe more. A day for sleep. A day for reading. A day for eating good food. A day for drinking tea. A day for writing. A day for talking with Jesus.
I actually have a bit of a retreat day planned for Thursday, November 1st. A special anniversary for me, and a day I'd booked off work to accomodate an event that actually doesn't begin until the next day.
My weekend is looking busy. An appointment with a friend tomorrow. Another for lunch on Sunday after church. Hopefully some rest time in between - I've taken tonight off - debating the merits of going to a movie solo. I want to see the Beatles musical that's playing... May just rent something, or stay in and lay in a hot bath with a couple good books. Cooking dinner either tonight or tomorrow night - the ingredients are waiting in my refrigerator...
Hoping to make it until Thursday, through incredibly busy days at work, and socially. Trusting Jesus to give just enough strength and energy for each moment, as I spend quite a bit of time with troubled friends the next several days.
I'm learning to be okay with the moments when my dreams are clear and vivid - even if they're disturbing, because at least I can then write them down, pray through and process them. And Jesus seems to be speaking quite a lot in my dreams again lately - which (while I still wish at times He'd pick another time and method) is generally a very good thing.
It's the moments like the last two nights that I don't like. The ones where I wake up in the morning, and know I've been dreaming through the whole night - flashes of images and emotions, but nothing is retained. Just a general uneasyness, and a sense of things poking at the edges of my conciousness, trying to be remembered, and just not quite making it.
I've learned that sometimes my soul prays while I'm asleep. This seems totally bizarre to my conceptions of prayer from my growing up years, but there are days when I wake, and know, quite simply, that my soul has been taking advantage of the fact that my mind is asleep to talk with Jesus about the cares and concerns of my heart. I actually really like this most times - though not exactly completely restful, I do wake up generally peaceful, and lighter, for having the cares of my heart communicated to the Lord in a deep way.
I think these last few nights have been a combination of prayer, and something else, and I'm tired, and, quite honestly, hoping for dreamless sleep over the next few nights.
There are things poking, nudging, rattling at the edges of my conciousness again today - things from my sleep the last two nights. Not sure what they are, but am feeling tired, unsettled...
Needing a day of rest - the physical kind, and the spiritual kind. A whole day, or maybe more. A day for sleep. A day for reading. A day for eating good food. A day for drinking tea. A day for writing. A day for talking with Jesus.
I actually have a bit of a retreat day planned for Thursday, November 1st. A special anniversary for me, and a day I'd booked off work to accomodate an event that actually doesn't begin until the next day.
My weekend is looking busy. An appointment with a friend tomorrow. Another for lunch on Sunday after church. Hopefully some rest time in between - I've taken tonight off - debating the merits of going to a movie solo. I want to see the Beatles musical that's playing... May just rent something, or stay in and lay in a hot bath with a couple good books. Cooking dinner either tonight or tomorrow night - the ingredients are waiting in my refrigerator...
Hoping to make it until Thursday, through incredibly busy days at work, and socially. Trusting Jesus to give just enough strength and energy for each moment, as I spend quite a bit of time with troubled friends the next several days.
In the news...
It's been a while since I posted the news headlines that were catching my eye on a given day, but here are a few from today...
Keeping up the Hard Line on Cuba
As a dual Canadian/American citizen I find the whole topic of Cuba interesting, since the two countries approach their relations with Cuba in such dramatically different fashions. I'm also wondering, as a dual citizen, how it works if I were to ever want to vacation in Cuba - as a Canadian I can, but as an American? How does that work anyway? (Not that I'm planning a Cuban vacation anytime soon... just something I've wondered about from time to time...)
Burma Frees 70 Protesters
Because I know some people who live and work near the Burmese border with Thailand.
In Search of Stolen Saints
Because I find iconography and religious art and history fascinating, and because the title really did catch my eye.
Man Who Sexually Abused Daughter Gets 10 Years
Because I know so many who are abuse victims, and this man's actions made me incredibly angry. 10 years just doesn't seem long enough for someone who began abusing his daughter at 3 weeks old.
Keeping up the Hard Line on Cuba
As a dual Canadian/American citizen I find the whole topic of Cuba interesting, since the two countries approach their relations with Cuba in such dramatically different fashions. I'm also wondering, as a dual citizen, how it works if I were to ever want to vacation in Cuba - as a Canadian I can, but as an American? How does that work anyway? (Not that I'm planning a Cuban vacation anytime soon... just something I've wondered about from time to time...)
Burma Frees 70 Protesters
Because I know some people who live and work near the Burmese border with Thailand.
In Search of Stolen Saints
Because I find iconography and religious art and history fascinating, and because the title really did catch my eye.
Man Who Sexually Abused Daughter Gets 10 Years
Because I know so many who are abuse victims, and this man's actions made me incredibly angry. 10 years just doesn't seem long enough for someone who began abusing his daughter at 3 weeks old.
The Authority of Compassion - Henri Nouwen
Continuing the thoughts on Jesus and church from Henri Nouwen...
The Authority of Compassion
The Church often wounds us deeply. People with religious authority often wound us by their words, attitudes, and demands. Precisely because our religion brings us in touch with the questions of life and death, our religious sensibilities can get hurt most easily. Ministers and priests seldom fully realize how a critical remark, a gesture of rejection, or an act of impatience can be remembered for life by those to whom it is directed.
There is such an enormous hunger for meaning in life, for comfort and consolation, for forgiveness and reconciliation, for restoration and healing, that anyone who has any authority in the Church should constantly be reminded that the best word to characterize religious authority is compassion. Let's keep looking at Jesus whose authority was expressed in compassion.
The Authority of Compassion
The Church often wounds us deeply. People with religious authority often wound us by their words, attitudes, and demands. Precisely because our religion brings us in touch with the questions of life and death, our religious sensibilities can get hurt most easily. Ministers and priests seldom fully realize how a critical remark, a gesture of rejection, or an act of impatience can be remembered for life by those to whom it is directed.
There is such an enormous hunger for meaning in life, for comfort and consolation, for forgiveness and reconciliation, for restoration and healing, that anyone who has any authority in the Church should constantly be reminded that the best word to characterize religious authority is compassion. Let's keep looking at Jesus whose authority was expressed in compassion.
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