Dreaming....(again)

The last couple of nights have been restless again.

I'm learning to be okay with the moments when my dreams are clear and vivid - even if they're disturbing, because at least I can then write them down, pray through and process them. And Jesus seems to be speaking quite a lot in my dreams again lately - which (while I still wish at times He'd pick another time and method) is generally a very good thing.

It's the moments like the last two nights that I don't like. The ones where I wake up in the morning, and know I've been dreaming through the whole night - flashes of images and emotions, but nothing is retained. Just a general uneasyness, and a sense of things poking at the edges of my conciousness, trying to be remembered, and just not quite making it.

I've learned that sometimes my soul prays while I'm asleep. This seems totally bizarre to my conceptions of prayer from my growing up years, but there are days when I wake, and know, quite simply, that my soul has been taking advantage of the fact that my mind is asleep to talk with Jesus about the cares and concerns of my heart. I actually really like this most times - though not exactly completely restful, I do wake up generally peaceful, and lighter, for having the cares of my heart communicated to the Lord in a deep way.

I think these last few nights have been a combination of prayer, and something else, and I'm tired, and, quite honestly, hoping for dreamless sleep over the next few nights.

There are things poking, nudging, rattling at the edges of my conciousness again today - things from my sleep the last two nights. Not sure what they are, but am feeling tired, unsettled...

Needing a day of rest - the physical kind, and the spiritual kind. A whole day, or maybe more. A day for sleep. A day for reading. A day for eating good food. A day for drinking tea. A day for writing. A day for talking with Jesus.

I actually have a bit of a retreat day planned for Thursday, November 1st. A special anniversary for me, and a day I'd booked off work to accomodate an event that actually doesn't begin until the next day.

My weekend is looking busy. An appointment with a friend tomorrow. Another for lunch on Sunday after church. Hopefully some rest time in between - I've taken tonight off - debating the merits of going to a movie solo. I want to see the Beatles musical that's playing... May just rent something, or stay in and lay in a hot bath with a couple good books. Cooking dinner either tonight or tomorrow night - the ingredients are waiting in my refrigerator...

Hoping to make it until Thursday, through incredibly busy days at work, and socially. Trusting Jesus to give just enough strength and energy for each moment, as I spend quite a bit of time with troubled friends the next several days.