My word for this year came later than normal. I toyed with a few options all afternoon on December 31st, but nothing quite fit. I headed (begrudgingly, I admit) off to mass to fulfill my New Year's Obligation, sat through mass, and still didn't have a word. I came back to my parent's place where I've been staying for a week or so break from my own crazy living situation, had some dinner, watched the tail end of a movie with them, and still didn't have a word.
And then I sat down with my laptop and began looking up definitions. I sat with the emerald green moleskine journal I've set aside for 2014 - the one that tucks into the pocket of the front cover of my day planner for the year - and I listed goals. I thought about the things in my life that seem overwhelming. I went upstairs and had a bit of a tearful conversation with my mom. And then I looked up more definitions.
And somewhere in there, a word emerged. It came quickly, and as it did, I copied the definitions into the moleskine. And then three passages of scripture came, too.
My word for 2014 is Persevere.
It's a fitting word, as I wait for the culmination of a number of things in my life over the coming year. It's fitting as I look at some of the things that I'm dreaming and praying about, and it's fitting as I consider some of the things that are currently major stressors in my life, leaving me feeling overwhelmed and maybe a bit adrift.
The definitions from Dictionary.com are as follows:
- to persist in anything undertaken, maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles or discouragement; continue steadfastly
- to persist in speech, interrogation, argument, etc; insist
- to bolster, sustain, or uphold
That's about right as I consider the list of goals I jotted down for the year, and as I consider the things left incomplete from 2013.
And then there are these three passages of scripture, which speak to the attitude and persona I'm sensing will be necessary for 2014:
Matthew 15:27-28 (The Message)
She was quick, "You're right, Master, but beggar dogs do get scraps from the master's table." Jesus gave in. "Oh woman, your faith is something else. What you want is what you get!" Right then her daughter became well.
Luke 18:7-8 (NIV)
And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.
John 2:3-5 (NIV)
When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine." "Woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
That's my prayer for this year - the strength to persevere - to live joyfully and press forward steadfastly. To persist in the face of what seems overwhelming and impossible - and to do it with the faith that the perseverance will be rewarded. It's a big challenge - a huge prayer - I'm not actually all that good at the trusting and having faith thing - but it's what my heart feels called to for this year, so I'm going to try for it. There is grace for when I fall short, and grace for when I push through, and that grace makes this journey worthwhile.
So, here's to 2014, my year of "persevere"!
