The things I've done

Today has been another "recovery" day. The previous couple of days were rather filled with people, intense conversations, and things of that nature. They were both good and bad, stressful and encouraging. But I was pretty tired again.

There are things that I could write about, but I think they're perpetuating some negative thought patterns that I want to beat. I gave them voice on the phone to a friend who lets me call him just to rant last night, and now, for the moment at least, I think I'll leave them be.

So, I spent the day watching episodes of M*A*S*H*. Because I love the show. One of my favorite lines from recent episodes? Frank Burns has just done something that delights Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan, and she comments, "Oh, Frank, you're so above average!" I can't help it - I love it. Witty writing is one of my weaknesses.

I also read a novel for a while in the bathtub. One of my other favorite methods of relaxation. I think I need to find a new novel, though, this one is a bit of an adventure/mystery/thriller and it's a little too much drama for the kind of relaxation I'm looking for. When I called my friend last night to rant, one of the things I said to him was, "I'm tired of all the drama!" So, I'll be stopping at the library sometime in the next day or so to pick up something a little bit lighter to read!

And now, I'm off to work. For some unknown reason I have the truly ridiculous 6-9 shift tonight. Three hours - it's hardly worth my while to leave the comforts of my house. I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm heading out in the cold to make $27.30 before taxes. It's so not worth my while when I think about it that way! I still like the job itself, but I'm very tired of the politics and a number of my coworkers at the moment. I can't wait to get back from Mexico and start looking for a nice 9-5 or 8-4 office type job!

Mental Health

A good friend who knew I was in need of a laugh this morning sent me this link. Make sure the sound on your computer is turned on. And enjoy!

It's Going to Be Alright....

I have a number of things on my mind. I could cram them all into one colossally long post, but I think I'll just start with this shorter post, and possibly add other shorter posts through the course of the day.

This has been an interesting week. Hard. Long. I was flipping through some song lyrics late last night, and came across a song by Sara Groves with the title that I used for this entry. It's not so much a prayer as a statement of faith. I'm not doing so well at clinging to that faith some days, but in my best moments, and in the deep recesses of my heart, the lyrics state so simply what I long for and believe about so many of the people in my life right now - there are so many who are hurting - but I want to cling to the fact that God is working even in the midst of the crap, of the pain that just never quite seems to end. That something beautiful will emerge from the messiness of life.

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright
I can tell by your eyes that you're not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you're sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that
It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright
I believe you'll outlive this pain in your heart
And you'll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that
It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright
When some time has past us, and the story can be told
It will mirror the strength and courage of your soul
Oh, oh I believe, I believe
I believe
I believe
I did not come here to offer you cliches
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you
It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright.
(Sara Groves and Gordon Kennedy)


Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.