"Blah Days"

I must admit that I stole the title from a friend. Her recent journal entry inspired my to write on a day when I feel that I have nothing to really say. (Thanks, Corey!)

I'm tired, on my way to bed. I've been busy this week with work, and trying to plan some fun outings for the first weekend (yes, that's two FULL days) off that I've had in a couple months. I haven't had much luck and that annoys me. Why is everyone always busy when I finally manage to have the same days off that the rest of the normal, non-retail world routinely has off?

I was reflecting the other day on how nice it would be to meet a Christian at work. But, you don't seem to meet very many in the retail world - I think it has something to do with having to work evenings and weekends - when does one find time to meet with fellow believers and build community. My job somewhat grudgingly allows me to be off on Sundays and Tuesdays in time for converge and home church, and in that, I am lucky.

Now that I write that, about wanting to meet a fellow believer, I wonder why it matters to me. It's not like my life has been any sort of stellar example of Christ lately. I make it out of bed, most days I manage to watch my language. Some days I manage not to gripe incessantly (at least out loud!). People know that I go to church, some know that dad's a pastor, but I generally avoid any sort of conversation at work about personal matters. It's another example of not trusting. I've lost a few jobs in the last year for various reasons, and I don't want to become attached to this job in case something happens again. I don't want to build relationships that will make it painful if something happened.

This is turning into far too deep a set of thoughts for tonight. Perhaps I'll explore them another day, perhaps I'll simply mull them over, jot them in the privacy of my paper journal, and leave them for a while.

I'm hoping to find a way to head for the mountains for at least a day on the weekend. I feel desperately in need of the recharging qualities of time away from the city spent in easy conversation with friends and family. I'm hoping to connect with some friends I've been wanting to find the time to sit down and share life for a couple of hours. I'm looking forward to two days with no work. Two days away from the store and demanding customers and grumpy coworkers. A day off is always to be enjoyed, but there's something special about having more than one in a row off. You get more fully recharged, more ready to face the challenges of several more shifts in the strange world that makes up "retail services."