Today...

It was my turn to leave early on the long weekend.

I was feeling the need for a little bit of self-care, and had booked an appointment for a pedicure and my first ever manicure. Will I ever be the kind of girl who does this all the time? No. Will I continue doing it every two or three months for relaxation? Yep. An hour or so where I could just let my mind be blank, focusing only on the girl massaging my legs, painting my nails, and massaging my hands was very much needed today.

I followed it up with several trip related errands, then home to do a bit of organizing (my energy levels are requiring me to take it pretty slow in the evenings these days), eat some dinner and do some emailing.

I've been watching a bit of a Jesus Culture conference from Redding, California online tonight. I quite enjoy Bill Johnson's teaching, and that church is one of the ones on my list of "I'd like to spend a Sunday there sometime." It's been nice to have the conference session playing in the background as I've moved around the house tonight.

I made a quick trip to my parent's place, and ended up crying and chatting with my mom. After I'd finished crying through an email exchange with a very dear friend who is in so many ways the mother of my heart. I had to laugh, because while these two women are usually quite different, they were saying the same things to me tonight!

So, that's my evening. Rest, tears, some encouragement, and a conference live via the internet.

It will be pretty quiet around here for the next three days. I'm driving to another province to attend a wedding on Sunday. It'll be a bit of a challenging wedding for me to attend thanks to the guest list and a few other circumstances. So, I'm praying for a God-given ability to find joy and peace. To truly push into being myself. To not let the circumstances push me into being a smaller person - being less of who I am. But mostly for joy. And safe travels, since George is old, and it's a rather long trip. My roommate is making the trip with me, and serving as my "date" to the wedding. We'd definitely appreciate your prayers for safety and all of the other things.

I've scheduled at least one post to go up each day I'm gone, and quite frankly, some of it I had a hard time not publishing immediately when I was getting it ready! It's unlikely that I'll have access to the internet while we're away, so I'll be back to blogging live and in person on Monday night. See you then!

Revisiting A Heart That's Seen

I've been thinking a lot about this post this week - from very early this year.

Remembering how nice it was in the midst of exhaustion and panic to be surrounded by two dear friends who were both far away. How nice it was to have my heart seen, and to be encouraged. How lovely it was to be loved by them. (How lovely it still is to be loved by them.)

In fact, earlier this week I went back and re-read the online conversations I had with both friends that night. The circumstances of that particular panic spell are deeply ingrained in my mind, and were close to the surface of my memory again this week, as I dealt with some things involving the same approximate situation.

The words of one friend in particular from that night have been buoying me this week, echoing in my heart a bit. "You're a good woman, Lisa." This particular friend, who I get to see far too rarely given that we live in the same city, has often said variations of these sorts of things to me. And sometimes, sometimes they just make me laugh. But sometimes, sometimes those words buoy me, in the weeks when I'm feeling attacked, questioned, and unseen. In the moments when my heart is weary from the fight his words come back, and I realize this person whom I respect deeply, who I know to be a man who loves God and people, and a man who lives with a deep morality and integrity, respects me too. Even though he's seen me at my some of my worst moments. And that, that is deeply encouraging to me this week.

Smile List (Redux)

A few more items, because I'm still needing to remember to be thankful and joyful this morning, and remembering that is still a definite struggle...

• plans to get both a manicure and a pedicure after work tonight. I'm cringing just a little (with the very practical side of me) at the thought of spending money on something I can do for myself, but know that being pampered a little is probably a good thing right now.
• a mandarin orange for breakfast
• that it was easy to find the appropriate maps and directions for the trip I'm making this weekend
• that I did sleep for at least a few hours last night
• Friday casual day at the office - hello blue jeans and a nice t-shirt!
• my turn to leave the office early on a long weekend - someone else is manning the phones for the last hour and a half today
• "Revelation Song" by Kim Walker
• "Be Ok" by Ingrid Michaelson
• Hemp hand protector and Hemp lip balm from The Body Shop
• the art in my office (a post on that coming soon)
• that I'll only be working 3 days next week
• that George seems to be running well, and I won't need to rent a car for this weekend's trip