Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 225

Today's Daily 5:

1. a much needed lazy morning.  sleep has been "interesting" and filled with dreams again lately, so it was nice to not have to go right from that place up and into the day, but to rest in bed a bit instead.
2. leftovers for lunch - some of my favorite pasta, a dish I hadn't made since L. left the country, until I made it for mom and dad last week
3. I finished listening to an audiobook today.  such a good way to just be in ten or twenty minute increments while I'm doing something else that doesn't require my brain.
4. sliding my feet into the cozy suede and sheepskin slippers L brought for me from New Zealand
5. bright pink toe nails (I painted them last night!)

The Lesson of the Present Moment

I read this post that Sarah Markley wrote today.

This line hit hard:

I’m stupid if I tell God to USE ME but don’t CHANGE ME.


uh. yeah.

After a year of deconstruction - the car, the job, the roommates, the fall and injury and then reinjury, the complete change of life direction, the crazy living situation, the not getting into the program in January, the deep wounds that are oh so slowly surfacing and being healed, the very unexpected decisions - after that year, I'm STILL wrestling with God.

Still saying, "use me, but please don't make me change."

You'd think I'd be getting better at this by now.


I'm becoming very aware, these last few weeks particularly, of that tendency to get really ticked off and uncomfortable when MY plan doesn't seem to mesh with where HE's calling.

Basic surrender and trust.


I'm still learning it, and I was reminded that this, surrender and trust, is the lesson of the present moment when I read Sarah's post this morning.

Mini Reviews (Part 5)

Letters from the Land of Cancer (Walter Wangerin Jr.)

I was hoping for more from this title.  A memoir of his journey through cancer treatments, the book is a series of letters to friends and family, with a few reflections interspersed.  I think that I was hoping for a more intimate account of the day to day struggles, and this isn't what was provided.  That said, towards the end of the book, I was moved to tears as I sat on the bus and read the closing of his account.  It's not the easiest read, not particularly flowing, and perhaps even a bit dense - like reading the correspondence of a stranger, without any emotional attachment.  So, not a stellar recommendation, but definitely not a wasted read.

In the Land of Invisible Women: A Female Doctor's Journey in the Saudi Kingdom (Qanta A. Ahmed, MD)

 

This was an absolutely fascinating read, and one which I will likely re-read at some point in the months to come.  It is the personal account of a single female British Muslim doctor, who, after training in the United States, suddenly found herself without a visa, and accepted a position in Saudi Arabia.  It explores medicine, her experiences as a woman, and as a Muslim.  I was particularly captured by her description of her experience of hajj, and of encounters with the religious police.  As I read I found myself making a list of questions, to be answered with further reading and research.  A book that captures me with narrative and leaves me with challenging questions for further reading and study is pretty much my definition of a great read.  For those interested in Islam, the middle east, memoir, culture, or even women's issues, this is definitely worth the time spent reading, and as I said, I expect to re-read it later in the year.