Thursday, March 08, 2007

An Affinity for a Dreaming King

I just came home from the final gathering of a Bible study that I've been a part of off and on since September. It's been taught by a brilliant teacher (though the group was entirely awkward) and we've been doing a basic survey of the Old Testament.

We worked our way through part of Daniel tonight, reading chronologically, rather than in the order the chapters are laid out.

I feel a definite affinity and sense of empathy for King Nebuchadnezzar and all his troubles with dreams. I laughed internally as we read of his fury at his advisors - "Tell me my dream and what it means, I'm greatly disturbed." Boy, do I know that feeling! There have been so many mornings over the course of my life and particularly lately where I come awake, and know I've been dreaming, for it has left a sense of disturbance, and even fear at times in my emotions, but I have no idea why. I'd love to have someone who could tell me what I dreamed and what it meant. And then he dreams again, and this time he can remember the dream, and repeat it, but still can't quite figure it out. Been there, done that. (Just ask the friends who regularly get emails from me asking if they have any insight into this dream or that dream!) I understand this guy, who suddenly finds himself blindsided in his sleep by God, and can't quite figure out what to do with it.

Did you know that I haven't slept through the night (more than 4 or very occasionally 5 straight hours) in at least two months now? I don't dream every night - but I do dream most nights. I don't retain most of the dreams, just the damage they do to my emotional and spiritual equilibrium. The ones I do retain, I rarely seem to understand. I'm thrilled that God is speaking. (But I really would like to sleep at least a couple times a week.) Often I wake to voices, though I rarely retain the words, strong pictures, things repeating over and over again as I toss and turn through the night, but not ingraining themselves strongly enough that I can remember and respond when I wake.

Like I said, I feel a certain empathy for this Babylonian king who was ambushed by God Most High while he slept.

Pants!

Okay, so this may be the least profound post ever, but I just wanted to let you all know that I bought a pair of pants last night. This may seem very ordinary, but I seem to be in between sizes at the moment, and have been having great difficulty locating a pair of pants that fits properly (and I rather desperately needed pants - can't keep wearing the same two pairs in rotation to work for weeks on end!).

Now all I have to do is shorten them by six inches or so (blast the fact that girls pants don't come in lengths like guys do), and then I'll be happily wearing them around town!