Is it really only Tuesday?

This is the question I find myself asking nearly constantly, "Is it really only Tuesday?" The last two days in some ways feel like they've encompassed an entire week.

Both yesterday and today at work have been filled with the little snafus that add up to frustration. I have a very long list of things that need to be accomplished, and the vast majority of them are on hold, dependent on responses from other people, or work from other people. I've also run out of things to give to the morning receptionist to occupy her time as well (again, because I'm waiting for some things to come back to me.)

I'm still loving my job, but every so often you have those days that just seem to drag, and seem to be riddled with minor frustrations that add up to major headaches.

I'm looking forward to an evening at home tonight (and planning to enjoy the fact that my roommates, the fiancee who's a constant presence in our house, and the current houseguest will all be out for a while, and I'll get to enjoy the quiet.)

I've had a heat pack on my neck off and on all day, attempting to alleviate the muscle knots that seems to have developed from unwittingly tensing the muscles in my neck and back while I sleep to prevent rolling onto my stomach and causing pain at the site of my new navel piercing. The knots are in a spot that's a continual problem, and I could badly use a massage.

I did however, incite laughter at the office today when I commented that I could use a massage quite badly, but wouldn't be able to lay on my stomach long enough to get one! It would seem that there's not a whole lot of sympathy for my predicament! (Of course, if it was me on the other end, I wouldn't be offering sympathy either, and I'm actually finding the whole situation personally amusing as well!)

In any case, I'm looking forward to spending an evening reading, and maybe doing a bit of cleaning. To catching up on some emails, and hopefully heading for bed nice and early. And to the nice dinner of kabobs, salad, and bread that we've got planned. Light, and so easy to prepare!

(But I'm still wondering, "Is it really only Tuesday?")

Waiting

It's funny how it goes.

I feel like the Lord has me in a season of waiting. Not a passive thing, where I just sit there, and he's silent. More of an active thing, where he's definitely speaking in various ways, where my emotions are churning and processing is happening in a wild sort of way.

I had a dream last week about shoes. Shoes often speak about transition for me - they've been a symbol of that for much of the last few years. And ever since the dream, I haven't been able to get the following lyric from a gospel song by High Valley out of my head "You don't wear your old shoes on your brand new feet..."

So I'm waiting. Because I think changes are coming again. In more than just the typical transitions that have marked June/July for the last few years. More than just moving, and a game of musical roommates. I'm hoping and praying that a new season is truly coming.

For the first time in a while, as I drove to work this morning, I found myself praying aloud. Making my "requests and petitions known to God." Prayers for myself, and for some I love. Prayers for the changes I feel happening within me. Prayers for blessing - even for those I struggle with (at one point I found myself telling God that I knew what I was asking was a bit of a selfish prayer, but would he translate the words because I genuinely desired to pray blessing from a heart that is right before him.)

As I climbed out of my car at the office, I "heard" again the scripture that goes, "See, I am doing a new thing, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert, and streams in the wasteland."

And my heart lept, just a little, in that cautious way it does after a long and bleak season, when it seems that hope may be presenting itself again. "Yes, Lord, I'm longing for that new season, for a way in the desert and streams where there is only barrenness."

I'm thinking too, about the line from Hosea, where the Lord speaks and says, "I will make the valley of trouble a door of hope."

I'm waiting and looking for doors and new things. And praying the same for many that my heart holds dear.

Several from Henri

Several thoughts from Henri Nouwen have been collecting in my inbox again, waiting to be shared here... All of these have offered reminders that I've needed to hear this last week or so.

Joint Heirs with Christ

We continue to put ourselves down as less than Christ. Thus, we avoid the full honour as well as the full pain of the Christian life. But the Spirit that guided Jesus guides us. Paul says: "The Spirit himself joins with our spirit to bear witness that we are children of God. And if we are children, then we are heirs, heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ" (Romans 8:16-17).

When we start living according to this truth, our lives will be radically transformed. We will not only come to know the full freedom of the children of God but also the full rejection of the world. It is understandable that we hesitate to claim the honor so as to avoid the pain. But, provided we are willing to share in Christ's suffering, we also will share in his glory (see Romans 8:17).

The Power of the Spirit

In and through Jesus we come to know God as a powerless God, who becomes dependent on us. But it is precisely in this powerlessness that God's power reveals itself. This is not the power that controls, dictates, and commands. It is the power that heals, reconciles, and unites. It is the power of the Spirit. When Jesus appeared people wanted to be close to him and touch him because "power came out of him" (Luke 6:19).

It is this power of the divine Spirit that Jesus wants to give us. The Spirit indeed empowers us and allows us to be healing presences. When we are filled with that Spirit, we cannot be other than healers.

Empowered to Speak

The Spirit that Jesus gives us empowers us to speak. Often when we are expected to speak in front of people who intimidate us, we are nervous and self-conscious. But if we live in the Spirit, we don't have to worry about what to say. We will find ourselves ready to speak when the need is there. "When they take you before ... authorities, do not worry about how to defend yourselves or what to say, because when the time comes, the Holy Spirit will teach you what you should say" (Luke 12:11-12).

We waste much of our time in anxious preparation. Let's claim the truth that the Spirit that Jesus gave us will speak in us and speak convincingly.

Empowered to Pray

Prayer is the gift of the Spirit. Often we wonder how to pray, when to pray, and what to pray. We can become very concerned about methods and techniques of prayer. But finally it is not we who pray but the Spirit who prays in us.

Paul says: "The Spirit ... comes to help us in our weakness, for, when we do not know how to pray properly, then the Spirit personally makes our petitions for us in groans that cannot be put into words; and he who can see into all hearts knows what the Spirit means because the prayers that the Spirit makes for God's holy people are always in accordance with the mind of God" (Romans 8:26-27). These words explain why the Spirit is called "the Consoler."