Daily 5 - Day 255

Today's Daily 5:

1. Got my laundry done.  I love the smell of clean laundry.
2. Lit candles around my bedroom
3. A hug from my mom
4. Vietnamese take-out for supper
5. reading Sara Miles' "Jesus Freak"

Do You Want to be Well?

"Jesus brushes all our differences away.  He is, after all, healing us into himself, dragging us alongside all the other damaged, undeserving people into his body.  Healing with Jesus isn't New Age-y and gentle.  It is frequently about pain:  which might explain, I realized, why Jesus often asks the desperate people who come to him, Do you want to be well?  Do you want to be well if getting well hurts?  Do you want to be well if it separates you from your old identity?  Do you want to be well more than you want to stay the same?

Real healing means, more than anything, following the truth: and thus a call to change and conversion."

(Sara Miles, "Jesus Freak")

I read this today, and found her words deeply striking.

I've asked those questions.  Do I want to be well if it hurts?  Do I want to be well if it means I'm totally separate from what I was?

The words continue to grow stronger within me.  I want to be well.

So Sad

This article made me sad... that someone would poison young girls simply because they're attending school.

12:12

I'm pondering Romans 12:12 today:  "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Sunday Stuff

It's 10:00 on Sunday morning.

I'm propped in bed, waiting for the moment when silence upstairs tells me that Grandma has left for church.

Then, I spring into action.  Sort of.

Laundry.  Washing the sheets on my bed and towels in the bathroom.  Various cleaning tasks.  Taking the garbage out.

But it's Sunday, and I'm feeling reflective too.

Tired.  Longing.

Pondering the internal stuff.  The stuff that is shifting and changing inside me.  The stuff I'm still hesitating to say out loud, or even in writing, in fear that it will dissipate in the face of exposure to the world.

I'm thinking about timing.  About God's timing and mine.

And more of those "you want me to what?" moments.

I'm waiting and praying.

Remembering moments of laughter from last night, which was so much better and less awkward than I thought it would be.

Thinking about relationships, and the shifts inside of me that I'm feeling there too.

Later, there will be family stuff.  At least a little family stuff.

Some meal planning.  Cooking perhaps.

Possibly some yoga, to stretch the muscles that ache this morning, telling me that yesterday's massage really did work and ease the muscles in my shoulders, neck and back - leftovers from an accident that is now three months in the past.

Maybe a conversation with friends.

Or, if the weather permits, a walk at the zoo or in the park.  The weather likely won't permit today, but it's a nice thought.

It's Sunday, and this is my day. 

Not quite what my Sunday's once were, but quiet and routine in it's own, different way.

Daily 5 - Day 254

I kept a whole long list of good stuff for today on a notepad in my purse, but now that I've finally crashed into my bed, the notepad and purse aren't in reach, so I'll keep it short and sweet.

1. Slow, quiet morning
2. successful errands
3. a much anticipated and very helpful massage appointment.
4. Made another new recipe and it turned out really well
5. had great fun at a bridal/lingerie shower for L. tonight