26

I haven't spoken very openly on the blog (though there have certainly been hints) about the fact that for the last year and a half a number of relationships I highly valued have been in the midst of deep upheaval and brokenness, and, though it deeply grieves me to say it, right now many of them seem to have come to a stopping point. I pray that they are only stops, and not an ending.

The grief over these changes comes in waves a bit, and tonight, as I'm staring at a milestone of sorts tomorrow, I'm feeling it just a bit.

I'll turn 26 tomorrow, and I'll probably talk then about how I actually love birthdays and turning another year older.

But tonight, just for a moment, I'm pausing.

Birthdays are one of those things you celebrate with friends, and, in a year when many highly valued relationships have imploded, it's hard to come upon a birthday and not feel the grief and loneliness of some of those implosions.

So, tonight I'm praying as I have most days this year. I'm praying one of the items from the "be relentless" in prayer list that God and I talked about as the new year began. I'm praying for healing and restoration of relationships, even in the moments when it is impossible for me to believe that this could still happen. And I'm praying for those people my heart still loves, even at a distance, and asking Jesus to meet each one of them, to pour out blessing upon them, to supply all of their needs, and to give them peace.

Quote of the day...

Grant, O Jesus, that your image be formed in me, that I live only from you and in you and with you and through you - you the vine, and I the branch. Help me, that all my views and opinions so resemble yours that others, as it were, see Christ in me.

Blessed Pauline von Mallinckrodt

Oldest Warrior

This article, about the life and death of one of Britain's last WWI veterans was quite striking. Particularly his comments on the war, and his comment that war is "the calculated, condoned slaughter of human beings." A striking thought from one who survived what the world at the time believed would never again occur on such a scale.

Thinking and Praying...

I'm praying...

• for an upcoming "milestone" of sorts
• in anticipation of plans for the next few days of rest
• for a variety of friends and family attending a great conference for the next few days
• for understanding as I continue to process some events from the weekend
• for a heart that is okay with a mind that doesn't understand
• with gratefulness for the continued rain and refreshing
• with a thankful heart for a couple of nights in a row of sleep that was relatively uniterrupted and dreamless (that combination doesn't come often for me)
• with the smile that comes from knowing I'm loved
• while thinking about a heart that is growing more peaceful
• while reading various news headlines
• with regret over past comments
• and the hope of not speaking from insecurity and causing hurt in the future
• with a heart that is feeling some joy and hope again
• for persecuted believers around the world, after reading an email and a news article that called them again to mind
• for friends from around the blogging world, whose struggles and needs are known or unknown
• for patience for one more day at the office