I've spent part of the evening contemplating ways to find things I really love and enjoy again.
And ways to switch up my routine a little bit.
One of the things I came up with is audio books. I used to love listening to audio books. I'd play them all the time while I was cleaning, cooking, driving, taking the train, or whatever. That stopped somewhere along the way.
So, tonight, I went online, and, borrowing suggestions from two separate friends, purchased two audio books to listen to for the next little while.
One more serious, and one more lighthearted.
I've been needing lighthearted, and the more serious one comes rather highly (and perhaps pointedly) recommended.
I've been listening to a bit of the more lighthearted one, while I did some work online tonight, and quite thoroughly enjoying it. I'm sure at some point it'll become the subject for a future post.
And the more serious one I'll tackle sometime in the next few days. Maybe I'll go for a drive in the mountains on the weekend, and listen then. Or maybe I'll let the truths it contains play over me while I sleep at night (while of course planning to listen to it awake as well!)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Quote for the Day
The calendar my friend gave me is still challenging me. Today, it's adding to the catharsis for my heart, serving as a reminder that this is really all I need to cling to.
"Christ alone is my life and my salvation." (Saint Agatha)
"Christ alone is my life and my salvation." (Saint Agatha)
Discombobulated Catharsis
I'm feeling a bit like my brain has taken leave of my body today. Discombobulated and scattered.
I was complaining about this fact to my roommate as I drove her to the train this morning, and she tried to encourage me by reminding me that if I can make it to Friday, this is a long weekend, and next week is a short work week. She laughed when I told her that work was the one thing I am consistently finding semi-enjoyable in life right now! Which should tell those of you who've been privy to some of the back story of my office politics and tensions for the last year just how much things have improved with the departure of a certain challenging coworker, and my assuming a new position and responsibilities at the office.
My body aches today. I've slept uncomfortably, tossing and turning for several straight nights, and my body is sore today from that. I also made the decision as my body heat fluctuated throughout the night last night that it is perhaps time to change the sheets on my bed from the flannel fall and winter ones to the soft cotton spring and summer set. So tonight, after work, and some errands, I'll go home and do that. Maybe it'll inspire a more restful sleep?
I spoke for a few hours on the phone with a dear friend last night. We ended up talking about some things I'd had no desire or plan to delve into. I'd had a rough few days and talking about those things was the last thing I really wanted to do. I was feeling sick of myself, and sick of feeling miserable, and exploring that was certainly not on my agenda. I wanted to hear about an upcoming trip she's making, and spend some time praying for her as she prepares to go. We talked about that, and prayed, true, but I wasn't prepared for the directions the rest of our conversation took. And I cried through much of it.
Which is probably partly why I'm feeling scattered and discombobulated this morning.
And yet, in some ways it was deeply cathartic too. She is one of the few people in my life who routinely invites tears. They seem to simply spill over when we talk or email, or spend time together in person. And perhaps, as my roommate (who'd seen the tears threatening on Sunday evening as we caught up on our weekends) was right in pointing out that I maybe needed to cry.
But I needed the sort of truth she spoke. The "pep talk" of sorts.
Because I've (to borrow a phrase my dad used back in his marathon running days) "hit the wall" with some of the changes I've been trying to implement in my life. The decisions designed to increase health and well-being. The initial drive to make them is gone, and the hard slogging has officially begun.
So I needed to hear her challenge to keep pushing towards those things. But also the grace and encouragment she offered.
So, today I'm existing in a state of discombobulate catharsis. And maybe that's okay too.
I was complaining about this fact to my roommate as I drove her to the train this morning, and she tried to encourage me by reminding me that if I can make it to Friday, this is a long weekend, and next week is a short work week. She laughed when I told her that work was the one thing I am consistently finding semi-enjoyable in life right now! Which should tell those of you who've been privy to some of the back story of my office politics and tensions for the last year just how much things have improved with the departure of a certain challenging coworker, and my assuming a new position and responsibilities at the office.
My body aches today. I've slept uncomfortably, tossing and turning for several straight nights, and my body is sore today from that. I also made the decision as my body heat fluctuated throughout the night last night that it is perhaps time to change the sheets on my bed from the flannel fall and winter ones to the soft cotton spring and summer set. So tonight, after work, and some errands, I'll go home and do that. Maybe it'll inspire a more restful sleep?
I spoke for a few hours on the phone with a dear friend last night. We ended up talking about some things I'd had no desire or plan to delve into. I'd had a rough few days and talking about those things was the last thing I really wanted to do. I was feeling sick of myself, and sick of feeling miserable, and exploring that was certainly not on my agenda. I wanted to hear about an upcoming trip she's making, and spend some time praying for her as she prepares to go. We talked about that, and prayed, true, but I wasn't prepared for the directions the rest of our conversation took. And I cried through much of it.
Which is probably partly why I'm feeling scattered and discombobulated this morning.
And yet, in some ways it was deeply cathartic too. She is one of the few people in my life who routinely invites tears. They seem to simply spill over when we talk or email, or spend time together in person. And perhaps, as my roommate (who'd seen the tears threatening on Sunday evening as we caught up on our weekends) was right in pointing out that I maybe needed to cry.
But I needed the sort of truth she spoke. The "pep talk" of sorts.
Because I've (to borrow a phrase my dad used back in his marathon running days) "hit the wall" with some of the changes I've been trying to implement in my life. The decisions designed to increase health and well-being. The initial drive to make them is gone, and the hard slogging has officially begun.
So I needed to hear her challenge to keep pushing towards those things. But also the grace and encouragment she offered.
So, today I'm existing in a state of discombobulate catharsis. And maybe that's okay too.
Sharing Freely
another great thought from Henri Nouwen
Sharing Freely Our Knowledge
Often we think that we do not know enough to be able to teach others. We might even become hesitant to tell others what we know, out of fear that we won't have anything left to say when we are asked for more.
This mind-set makes us anxious, secretive, possessive, and self-conscious. But when we have the courage to share generously with others all that we know, whenever they ask for it, we soon discover that we know a lot more than we thought. It is only by giving generously from the well of our knowledge that we discover how deep that well is.
Sharing Freely Our Knowledge
Often we think that we do not know enough to be able to teach others. We might even become hesitant to tell others what we know, out of fear that we won't have anything left to say when we are asked for more.
This mind-set makes us anxious, secretive, possessive, and self-conscious. But when we have the courage to share generously with others all that we know, whenever they ask for it, we soon discover that we know a lot more than we thought. It is only by giving generously from the well of our knowledge that we discover how deep that well is.
5 Words
I receive a daily email from John Fischer. On April 23rd, it caught at me deeply, and I thought I'd share it with all of you.
Five words
by John Fischer
I was reminded recently of a story I used to tell about a man who was the last to share in his prayer group. They were going around in a circle, giving their personal requests for prayer when they came to him and he took a deep breath and proceeded to relate some very ugly things he was going through in his life right then including some anger at God and a real sense of being depressed. He had wanted to avoid these painful things and unresolved issues and just focus on how good God is, but the reality and intensity of his present state of affairs prevented him from telling anything but the truth. When he finished, there was a long pause, and the man related to me how in that silence he had regretted for a moment revealing as much as he did. It was then that someone broke the silence with five very special words: "Can we go around again?"
Five words—that's all—but oh how important those five words are. Those five words say: You are not alone. If the rest of us had been as honest, we would all have equally challenging things to say. In fact, let's go around again so we can!
What good is so-called prayer time if we don't get down to it? Who are we touching if we are not allowing ourselves to be touched? Just remember, whatever it is that you are afraid to reveal… do it. It will only mean that you will have to go back around again for the sake of everybody else.
Five words
by John Fischer
I was reminded recently of a story I used to tell about a man who was the last to share in his prayer group. They were going around in a circle, giving their personal requests for prayer when they came to him and he took a deep breath and proceeded to relate some very ugly things he was going through in his life right then including some anger at God and a real sense of being depressed. He had wanted to avoid these painful things and unresolved issues and just focus on how good God is, but the reality and intensity of his present state of affairs prevented him from telling anything but the truth. When he finished, there was a long pause, and the man related to me how in that silence he had regretted for a moment revealing as much as he did. It was then that someone broke the silence with five very special words: "Can we go around again?"
Five words—that's all—but oh how important those five words are. Those five words say: You are not alone. If the rest of us had been as honest, we would all have equally challenging things to say. In fact, let's go around again so we can!
What good is so-called prayer time if we don't get down to it? Who are we touching if we are not allowing ourselves to be touched? Just remember, whatever it is that you are afraid to reveal… do it. It will only mean that you will have to go back around again for the sake of everybody else.
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