Evening Again

I survived the soul-sucking grocery store. And bought a new pair of pajama pants in the process.

I've caught up on some necessary emails.

I've researched the possibility of taking a yoga class for eight weeks over the summer. (Not sure yet on that one.)

I've showered.

I've realized that I will most definitely need to take time this week to go to the park by myself and pray, and quite like to go shopping or browsing somewhere by myself and just let myself be without all of the heavier stuff on my mind. To give myself a bit of space.

I've been to the bank, and paid a bill or two online.

And now? now I think I'm going to put on those comfy new pjs, and head for bed.

I'm still having problems with my neck and shoulders, and those problems are still causing headaches.

I think I'll read for a little while, maybe journal just a little, and then sleep. At least sleep is the hope and the prayer.

Good night.

Fascinating Article

I found this article on sleep at Time Magazine's website absolutely fascinating. Apparently, if you're sleep deprived, it is easier for your brain to percieve negative emotions like anger and fear than positive ones, and if you've had REM sleep, it becomes easier to percieve positive emotions.

Definitely an interesting set of thoughts for someone who struggles with both emotional balance and sleep issues.

Quotes and other thoughts

From the Saturday edition of the calendar that sits on my desk:

"We can never have too much hope in God. He gives in the measure we ask." (Saint Therese of Lisieux)

I may possibly need to start asking for larger measures of hope again.

~~~

It was a very full weekend. In so many ways. And I find myself exhausted as I'm sitting here on Monday morning, facing another long week.

I have this tendency to forget just how much energy it takes for me to be around people these days. It's becoming quickly apparent that I'm going to have to make it a priority on an evening this week to escape to the park by myself for an hour or two, to walk and pray and simply be alone.

I'm missing church, too. A few weeks back I found a place that I think I want to attend regularly for a while. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like right now, but there was a certain prompting from God to at least consider this as a resting spot on the journey for a while. It was a surprising prompting, as the church was pretty much everything I wasn't looking for, or generally don't want in a church, and yet, God has met me there quite powerfully every time I've attended (6 or 8 times) in the last year and a bit. I wasn't able to attend this weekend for a variety of reasons, and I found myself regretting that as I drove to work this morning. Regretting that there hadn't been that corporate time of pausing for worship and teaching. I likely won't make it there next weekend either, and I'm regretting that as well.

I'm grocery shopping with my roommate tonight. At the life-sucking mega store. And it's not a small shop either. We're out of a number of staple items. I hate the life-sucking mega store. Give me smaller, tidier, and slightly more expensive any day of the week. Hopefully, because it's a week-night, it won't be terribly busy, they'll actually have items in stock, and we'll be able to get in and out relatively quickly.

The thoughts and processing in my head and heart are wild and swirly, below the surface and confusing. In much the way I'm praying our weather finally settles into a thunderstorm that clears and cools the air, I'm praying for either a calming or the explosion that brings calm in my heart as well. For that deep and quieting encounter with Jesus.

And now, now it's time to start to tackle my "to do" list for the week.