You Ask, I Answer, Take 25

Today's question comes from Lois, who asked:

I was wondering if you have a kindle or what your thoughts are on them??

Well, this will probably be a shorter winded answer than some installments in this weekly series!

The answer is no, I don't have a Kindle.

As for my thoughts on the whole field of ebook readers, they're terribly conflicted.  I'm not a huge fan of reading from a screen, and I've been known to use the paper to print out an article that I will refer to only once as a source for a paper, simply because I can't stand the thought of reading a lengthy document on screen.

I'm also one of those purists who just really likes having a book in one hand, and a pen in the other, to mark in my book and highlight.

A few friends of mine have ebook readers, and love them, citing the weight, and accessibility of all sorts of titles and genres with great ease.  One friend actually had a kindle, and I was pleasantly surprised that the screen was somewhat matte, without the glare that I'd expected and dreaded.

I think the answer is this - if I end up pursuing a life overseas, or if I end up traveling more extensively (something not in the cards particularly as I head into school for the next two years), I would seriously consider and investigate the possibility of purchasing a kindle, or something comparable for the sheer ability to carry a whole library with me wherever I go.  However, since I'm not doing those sorts of things that make weight and portability a necessity at the moment, it's not something I've currently investigated greatly, or that I'll likely purchase in the near future.

You Ask, I Answer?

I have two "You Ask, I Answer" questions left in the list from previous rounds, and I'll get to those in the weeks to come.

In the meantime, I wondered if there's any other questions out there that are burning in your thoughts?

Do you have seasonal or Christmas related questions?

Something totally random?

Something you wonder about me?

They're fair game (and, if it's too personal for the blog, I'll leave you a comment telling you that, and be happy to answer by email!).  Almost nothing is too personal though, so if you want to ask, go for it.  

What would you want to talk about with me if we were sitting down over a cup of tea and some baking?  Ask away!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 24

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Tea.

She asked, "What are some of your all time favorite songs?"

Oh dear.  I don't have any idea how to answer this one!

I have this habit of picking music based primarily on the lyrics, and not the style of music.  The result is that my taste in music is rather eclectic and that I tend to pick songs based on the way their lyrics speak to me at a particular moment or season in life.  It also means that I don't always have favorites per say, but that my favorites tend to change as the things that are going on in my life change.

So, here a few songs I've loved at various times, sorted out by genre.  I think many of these could be their own posts, really, talking about the significance of the lyrics to my heart at various times and moments.  Some of them, particularly the country and random ones are simply songs that have made me laugh over the years.  (Note that I don't really like all of the video links, but if you just listen to the songs and don't watch the videos, they're a great way to hear these songs.)

Christian/Worship
Here by the Water (Steve Bell)
Blessed Be Your Name (Matt Redman)
Not Alone (Jason Upton)
Just Showed Up for My Own Life (Sara Groves)
All I Can Say (David Crowder Band)

Country
I Wanna Talk About Me (Toby Keith)
Anything by Paul Brandt, but especially "I Do"
Hurt (Johnny Cash)
Bless the Broken Road (Rascal Flatts)

Other Random Bits and Pieces
Peace on Earth (U2)
Elf's Lament (Barenaked Ladies)
Breathe (Ingrid Michaelson)
Banana Pancakes (Jack Johnson)
Build a Tower (by a friend of mine Karla Adolphe as half of Jacob and Lily)
Let Go (Frou Frou)


How about the rest of you?  Do you have all time favorite songs, or even songs that are current favorites?  Do lyrics speak to you, or is it more about other things for you?  Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 23

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Johanna, who asked,

Is it "ok" for you being single right now? Isn't it sometimes difficult to see friends who are your age getting married, having children and having a totally different life? How are you dealing with things/thoughts like that?

Ooo... Good question!

The answer is yes to all of the above.

Yes, I am okay being single most of the time.  I have a good assortment of married and single friends, and I really enjoy the independence and fun that can come with being single.  I like the ability to pick up on short notice and travel, see a movie, shop, go for dinner or so on.  I think part of the contentment that I have with being single comes from the fact that as an introvert, I really do love time spent alone, and even require it to recharge and be fully engaged when I'm spending time with my friends.  That said, there is definitely a part of me that is looking for a man to share the day in and day out parts of my life with.  (I actually think often about a line from one of Donald Miller's books where he talks about wanting a girl who, when he's with her, makes him feel like he's alone.  He's referencing the comfort and freedom that comes with that sort of relationship - that he feels just as at rest with her, as he does when he's alone.  That's kind of what I'd love to find eventually in a husband.)

That said, there are times (actually, especially when I'm with my family), where I feel very lonely, and almost invisible because of being single.  It's quite painful, and I wrestle at those moments, and try to remind myself to be continually seeking my contentment in the Lord, and asking him in those times to guide my steps towards a partner if he has that for me, or to continually give me peace and restore my contentment if a partner isn't what Jesus has for me.

As for being with my friends, it's been an incredible privilege to watch them be married and have babies.   With some of my married girlfriends, the only thing that has really changed since they've gotten married is a few topics of conversation.  I'm not now and never have been particularly close friends with their husbands, and so when I hang out with those friends, we still usually hang out as just us girls.  With one friend in particular, though, when we spend time together, though it is often just us, it doesn't make a difference in our conversation if her husband is there.  He's always made me feel incredibly welcome, that's he's grateful for my friendship with his wife, and that he's interested in my story, and who I am.  (Can I just suggest that if you're married, this is one of the most precious gifts you and your spouse can offer to single friends?)  When the three of us are together, the conversation is the same as it would be if he wasn't there, but with another voice, and an even fuller perspective, and I LOVE that.

I've also been really blessed and challenged by the process of watching a lot of my friends become parents in the past number of years.  There has been something incredibly holy for me in watching this transition take-place - watching women I've known for a very long time become mothers.  It has blessed me deeply to see the new sides of their character and personality emerge as they carry, birth and begin to raise their children.  It's been great fun to watch as their children begin to grow and interact with their parents, to see the different ways my friends are blessing the babies that Jesus has entrusted to them.  It's made for fascinating conversations - to talk about the challenges they're facing in parenting and marriage and life.  To talk about the struggles and questions that come with those stages in life.  I've found that though the context is different, their is still so much that I can relate to, be challenged by, and encouraged to grow in in the midst of these new aspects of my friendships.  And, there is nothing quite like the way a little boy or girl's face lights up when you walk into the room and they recognize and love you.  Nothing quite like cuddling a baby, or playing peek-a-boo.  There are things about my friends having children, and me getting to relate to those children that have brought great healing and joy to my soul.

So... I guess you could say that yes, I do struggle at times with being single as I watch a great number of friends marry and start families, but that I have also found incredible blessing and joy in these new stages of life for my friends - that Jesus has worked in them to show me new things about himself, and about myself, and that He has challenged me to pray in new ways for my friends as they transition through these various stages of life.

You Ask, I Answer Take 22

I'm bring back You Ask, I Answer once a week for a little while.  Check this space on Tuesdays!

Today's question comes from Tea, who asked:

Where/what would be your dream vacation?

Oh dear.  That's a terribly hard question to answer!

There are so many places I'd love visit.

I think, just at the moment, I could narrow it down to two places.

The first would be to visit Machu Picchu in Peru.  I've dreamt of going there for ages, and can't wait for the day when I will finally visit.  I actually spent my first birthday in Peru while my parents were leading a short term mission team, and it's a country that has somehow burrowed in my heart.  I love the Spanish language, and I dream of going to Peru to visit someday, and spending some time in the ruins at Machu Picchu.

The second, at the moment would be to spend a month or so in New Zealand.  One of my closest friends is from there, and will be returning shortly after quite some time abroad.  New Zealand is a country I've heard so much about, and L. has promised to tour me all over the islands when I finally manage to visit her.  I'm looking forward to beautiful vistas, great food, fun accents and conversations, time with a fabulously dear friend, and wine tours among other things.

Thanks for the question, Tea.

And now, let me throw it back out to all of you.  Do you have a dream vacation?  Tell me in the comments.

Ask Me Anything

I'd love to have some more questions for another set of You Ask, I Answer posts.

So, ask me anything!  It can be totally random.  It can be political or spiritual or intellectual.

Today is your day - ask anything, and if you leave questions, I'll make a list and answer them in their own set of posts!

Switching Things Up

I'm changing things up in this space again.

For the last several months on Tuesdays and Thursdays this space has either hosted "You Ask, I Answer" or "If..."  At the moment, I'm out of "You Ask, I Answer" questions, and honestly, I'm bored with the "If..." questions.  I loved the "If..." book for conversation, but found many of the questions too inflexible or too personal to answer in this space.  I wasn't having any fun answering them, so I'm shelving the series for the moment.

In the meantime, I've missed writing about whatever I feel like in this space, instead of maintaining regular series.  So, for the next while, starting on Thursday, you can expect me to talk about whatever I feel like talking about on every day except Wednesday.  On Wednesdays you can still look for Whimsical Wednesday, because I'm still loving that!

Yay for new things!  Can't wait to see what we end up talking about in this space!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 21

This is the final installment of You Ask, I Answer for a while.  If I receive more questions from some of you, I'll add them to a list, and when some have built up, we'll bring You Ask, I Answer back.  In the meantime, stay tuned on Thursday for an introduction to "If..." coming your way in the original Tuesday/Thursday You Ask, I Answer slot!

The honor of the last question for this go-round of You Ask, I Answer, goes to Ian, who asked:

favourite colour? notice that i use the "u" in both words so you could even go off on a tangent talking about the quirkiness of words and just how particular you may or may not be about having things "just so". actually, that topic may be of more value to me since i'm the sort that doesn't care about some things like that but is very particular about spelling and grammar sometimes.

well, enough rambling. my question is more about being particular in some areas and not in other areas but if you just want to tell me what your favourite colour is and why then i'll just be satisfied with that.

Ian, this question made me laugh!

I have an answer for you, or two answers really, I suppose.

My favorite color is probably green, or maybe blue.  Earthy colors both.  But I can't say I have one particularly dominant color favorite.  I will say that I love color, though.  And that the one thing I truly loathe in terms of color is a room done in nothing but beige.  Color is so connected to mood for me, and I'm definitely a fan of bright and rich colors.  No pastels please.

As for the rest of your question, you'll notice that I spelled both words without the "u".  And the quirkyness of words, and particularly of the spelling of these words, makes me laugh.

Since Canadian's use "ou" and Americans use "o" in words like color, neighbour, honor and so on, they are definitely quirky.  What's worse is that I spell some of them one way and some the other!  It's my own little quirk, caused by being raised by a Canadian dad and a dual citizen mom.  And mom homeschooled us for several years, the early years, the years where we learned how to spell, and so my spelling is all mixed up and drives Canadians who are particular about grammar and spelling just a bit crazy!  It also doesn't help that the spellchecker on my laptop is set to use American English, and I've simply never bothered to change it, so whenever I use the "ou" spelling, it howls at me.  That said, I am a bit particular about grammar most of the time - it's just my spelling that's a tad confused!

I like my writing to be "just so", but, on the other hand, I hate editing, and rarely do it, especially on blog posts.  I do it on school work,  or longer essays that are written for something other than a blog, but I don't do it on blog posts, and I know that sometimes mean that my grammar, spelling, or typos cloud the text.  So, clearly I'm not all quite as particular as I like to think!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 20

Today's You Ask, I Answer question is the second last of the ones left on my list, and is once again from Johanna in Germany.  (Side note:  Send more questions my way if you like!  I'm still having fun with them, though I do have a plan if I don't get any more from all of you!)

Johanna asked:

What do you think is the biggest/one of the most important challenges for our society/for our generation right now/in the coming years?

It took me a little while to come up with an answer for this one!

I would actually say that I think one of the biggest challenges that we face is figuring out how to live in a world that has become so much larger.  I was reading a historical novel just recently and was struck by the reality that only a century or so ago, a 80 mile distance was immense, and meant that you might only see friends or family living at that distance once or twice a year!  Long distance relationships were conducted by writing letters, and receiving a letter once a week or so was hugely frequent!  Now, my closest friends live in different countries and on different continents from me, and while I don't always see them in person on a regular basis, I hear from them multiple times a week via email, phone calls, and skype.

I'm also struck by how, as we've developed these communication tools to make the world both larger and smaller simultaneously, our concerns have grown.  We are aware of the effects of famine in Somalia, and war in Libya, and earthquakes in Japan and Haiti and elsewhere.  We know instantly about the death of Osama bin Laden, and we speculate about when Will and Kate will produce an heir to the throne.

I think this growth/shrinking of the world is both a blessing and something that presents an immense challenge.  I feel like we've lost the sense of family and community that came with a smaller world, and that a huge challenge for our generation is to figure out how to live with a sense of family, and community and grace on a more global scale.  We have to make choices about how our lifestyle, our finances, our travel, and so many other things affect not only those close to us, but those on the other side of the planet.  We need to consider the ramifications of the fact that we might talk daily with someone on another continent and not know who lives in the apartment next door.  With a larger world comes a sense of responsibility - do my choices about transportation, about the environment and the food I consume have an affect on someone living in sub-saharan Africa?  Does the fact that I have more than enough even though I'm on the lower end of the North American income scale make me responsible for the family existing in extreme poverty in Haiti or Cambodia?

As I write, I think about people asking Jesus who their neighbor really is, and I think that question they asked two thousand or so years ago takes on a new significance in an age where in many ways the whole world can be considered our neighbors.

So, that's my answer - I think figuring out how to live out a Christian ethic of loving your neighbor, in the midst of a world that has expanded/shrunk is a huge challenge for our generation, and one that will very much define the mark that we will leave on history.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 19

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Johanna again.  She asked:

If you could write a book, what kind of book would it be?

This is a question that makes me smile.  I dream of writing a book, and I actually plan to one day, even if it's only for me.

Most likely I'd write a book of essays and stories from real life.  A memoir/essay style combination.  Maybe throw in some poetry or photographs or song lyrics that have spoken deeply to me.  These are the kinds of books that I love to read, and it's most likely what I'd write.  A story of God's work in the day to day moments of life, of God's sense of humor, of the moments in which I've come to know Him, and that ways that knowing Him has changed my life.

My favorite books are the ones that somehow meld story and truth, so that you don't feel preached at, and yet, you find, when you set the book aside, that your life has been changed and shaped because you read it, because of the truths it contains.  That's the kind of book that I'd love to write someday.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 18

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Johanna, who asked:

What languages do you speak, besides English?  What languages do you want to speak/learn, if you had the time/energy?

A very good question.

The answer to the first part is this:  I don't speak any languages other than English fluently.

As a product of the Canadian educational system, I have a very minimal command of French.  And by minimal, I mean that I can count to 49, say hello and goodbye, please and thank you, and recognize a few other words commonly found on signs or product labels (it's the law here- all product labels, and all signs in nationally governed areas such as national parks, are in both official languages.)

As a product of parents who spent time in South America, and two years of high school instruction, I also have a minimal command of Spanish.  In Spanish, I can basically say enough to communicate that I can't properly communicate.  I can understand a bit more than I can speak.  My Spanish is a bit better than my French, and while I wish I'd taken more in high school, I don't regret the decision to drop the language, given that the particular teacher was a fan of teaching via embarrassing her students, and after having been at her mercy in one year, (I had a wonderful teacher my first year), I was unwilling to allow that to continue!  Interestingly, a close friend of mine speaks Spanish as her first language and other friends speak quite fluently as their second language, so if I can just increase my vocabulary a bit, I'll have numerous people to practice with!

The answer to the second part of the question is a bit more complex!  I love language, and would love to devote some time to learning more.  I would most definitely begin with Spanish, since it's a language that I absolutely love, and that is spoken in many of the parts of the world that I'd love to travel to.  I would probably avoid any tonal languages (so most Asian languages are probably out) since I'm rather tone deaf and know I would struggle with them.  I'm fascinated by Hebrew, by Arabic, and others.  Italian, being closely related to Spanish, is also an enticing option.  I have friends who speak German, and I think that might be fun to learn someday.  I'm sort of of the opinion that any language you can add to your repertoire very much broadens your horizons and perspectives, and creates space within you for new things, so I definitely think that language is a worthy thing to tackle, and most definitely plan to turn my attention to Spanish in the near future!

One Day Hiatus

I just now realized that I didn't pre-write and post a You Ask, I Answer post for today.   Whoops!

The day kind of got away with me as I did some cleaning to prepare for my parent's return, and as I spent a chunk of the morning resting, trying to shake off a fairly rough night.  And now I'm running out the door to some appointments.

So... You Ask, I Answer will be back on Tuesday.  A few of you have sent me some new questions to see the series continue, and I'll be tackling those.  In the meantime, if you have more questions, leave them in the comments!  I'd love to get as many as you are willing to leave with me!

See you all tomorrow with something new, and on Tuesday when the one day hiatus of You Ask, I Answer will have ended!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 17

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Johanna, in Germany.  She asked:

What does prayer mean to you? How do you cultivate your prayer life?

At this stage in my life, prayer is so central to who I am that it's funny to me to look back and realize that for many, many years, I hated prayer and thought of it as a sort of necessary obligation, and a boring and rather useless one at that!  In fact, it was so well known that I was not a fan of prayer, and particularly not a fan of praying aloud, that the friend who was my young life leader in high school would pointedly force the issue!  She made me pray in public at every opportunity she could.  It was nearly always my "turn" to bless the food when we ate together.  She'd let me know at the beginning of our small group prayer times that while the others had an option of whether or not to speak up and I pray, I'd better be opening my mouth and talking with God!  It drove me crazy, and became almost a game - how could I avoid it, and how could she force the issue!

Somewhere early in university, I began attending a new church, and encountered people who seemed to really believe that prayer was actually important and effective, and that it didn't have to be boring!  Some of that coincided with the time period where I encountered the 24-7 Prayer movement in a number of forms and places, and learned new things about prayer, and discovered creative expressions of prayer.  Some of it coincided with the time where I ultimately had a profound encounter with God, and experienced healing from some severe depression and oppression that had haunted my steps for years.

So, what does prayer mean to me?  I don't have a definition for form, and I'm probably far more lacksidaisical about prayer than some.  Prayer for me is anything that allows me to engage in conversation and relationship with Christ.  Sometimes it looks like actually sitting down in the very traditional way, and talking to God, but sometimes it looks like worship music playing, or writing, or doing something creative, or spotting something that reminds me of something or someone on my heart and challenges me to lift them before Jesus.

As for cultivating my prayer life, the biggest part of my prayer life is that for years now I've worked to cultivate my internal dialogue into a conversation with Jesus, rather than simply a monologue.  So, as I'm out walking, when I'm reading, when I'm going about my day and thinking, as things come up, I've mentally cultivated the habit of turning them into conversation with Jesus - thanking him for them, sharing my concerns with him, asking him questions about them.

I also have made a habit at various times of using prayer books, or guided prayers to carve out a specific chunk of time for prayer in my day.  Right now I'm using a little book by J. Philip Newell called "Sounds of the Eternal", which is a book of Celtic prayers, designed to fill a week, with a set of prayers for each morning and evening.  I generally just use the evening prayers, taking time to read through them and let them guide and quiet my heart as I prepare for sleep at night.  The prayers are quite lovely, and I really enjoy the repetition and flow of joining my heart with semi-ancient prayers each evening.

The house church I'm a part of also makes a regular habit of sharing our lives and concerns with each other, and lifting each other up in prayer, so that is also an integral part of my prayer life.  I'm still not a very big fan of praying aloud, but on a pretty much weekly basis I make the choice to do so.  To audibly talk to Jesus about the friends with whom I share life and church community.  And I'm blessed as they do the same for me.  I also have a few close friends with whom I take time to pray nearly every time we gather, and I'm thankful for them as well.

So there you have it!  Some of my thoughts on prayer.  It's a hugely important topic to me, one I could talk about forever, and one that I've done fairly extensive reading about, but these are some basic thoughts - the first ones that come to mind anyway - on my own prayer life, and it's importance and how I cultivate its growth.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 16

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Christianne, who asked:

What's the biggest possible dream you ever dream for your life?

Wow.  That is not a question I have to find a coherent answer for on any kind of regular basis!

I'm not actually sure that I have a coherent answer.  The biggest dreams that I have for my life would be a patchwork quilt of the following:

• the chance to spend a great deal of time traveling and/or living overseas
• working in the nursing field, both in North America and in the developing world
• spending time with people who share my heart - friends or family
• writing, and having that writing be used to encourage or minister to people, whether here on my blog, or in some sort of book format
• living a life that is creative, full of color, and marked by joy
• a life marked with books and words, with great food and flavors and wonderful company
• building a family and home of my own - however that ends up looking, and wherever it ends up being

My dream is a life that is rich - full of beauty, in whatever form that comes.  I've learned over the years that it comes in very unexpected, and even painful forms.  I want to live with joy, and with hope.  I want to live a life marked and defined by my relationship with Christ, one where all of my other dreams flow from that place in my heart.   I want to live a life that is deep, one with deep friendships, with deep trust, with much love.  And I want to write about that life in some form, because it is when I write that I begin to fully absorb and understand.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 15

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes from Jenny, who asked:

Where would you like to visit next if money were no object, and why?

Oh dear.  That is a very difficult question for someone who has been badly infected with the travel bug to answer.  My thoughts go in a number of directions, as follows:

• Anyplace where one of my dearest friends is currently located.  For me this could include travel within Canada, to the United States, to Europe, or to New Zealand, depending on the day and month (did I mention that my dearest friends mostly all also are infected by the travel bug?)
• Peru.  I celebrated my first birthday there, and it's a country that has been heavily on my heart for quite a number of years.  It's a place that I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I WILL visit at some point in my future, so, if money were no object, it's one of the first places that I would prayerfully consider visiting.  (If money were no object, I'd probably just arrange for one or more of those dear friends I mentioned to join me, since it's a trip I know I likely won't make alone.)
• North Africa and/or The Middle East.  I've been reading extensively about these areas over the last six months or so, and I'd love to have the chance to experience them in person.  The memoirs I've read have fascinated me, and broadened my heart and my understanding of the world, and even stretched my prayer life.  Again, if money were no object, these areas would be high on my list, and since I know they're high on the lists of various people I love, I'd probably just bring those people with me!

So, there you have it!  My three-pronged answer to where I'm dreaming of traveling next.  A return to Europe remains on my list, my bucket list includes spending a minimum of one week on each major continent except Antarctica, I'd love to visit Turkey, and parts of Asia.  I want to experience Haiti and a thousand other places.  Basically, I'll go wherever my heart leads as I prayerfully consider next things and steps.  My next more immediate trip will most likely be this fall, to somewhere in the US, though I'm still dreaming and thinking and praying and considering just exactly what that might end up looking like!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 14

Today's You Ask, I Answer question comes once again from Christianne.  She asks:

What do you like most about God?

When I read this question initially, I cringed, wondering how on earth I was going to answer it.  How I was going to take an intangible appreciation of a whole, and cram it into a response that was shaped like a few paragraphs of text.  But, the more I thought about the question, the more I realized that there is indeed one attribute of God that I appreciate above all others.

For me, the aspect of God's character that is most meaningful is that his character, and he himself is unchanging.

To someone who struggles with change and has at times been hurt deeply by shifting sands of relationships, the idea that the God on whom I rely will never change is one that is deeply comforting.  That He is the solid, rooted, fixed and unchanging form admist the chaos and storms that I've walked through the last number of years is the truth that I've come to rely on most deeply.  It's the thing in which I root my ability to trust deeply in God's care and guidance in my life.  It's the thing in which I find hope and peace.

I love that He doesn't change and promises that He will not change.  That his character is rich and deep and consistent and something in which I can anchor myself amidst the things that threaten to overwhelm me.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 13

By popular demand, today's edition of "You Ask, I Answer" will address the "ping-pong ball" story that I referenced in Thursday's edition.

As I mentioned on Thursday, because I am nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in the other, and because my left eye is lazy, my brain primarily processes signals from only my right eye.  This leads to a significant lack of depth perception, and to a great number of embarrassing stories and moments.  The story that continues to hold the place of honor in family lore involves a public school, seventh grade, junior high school physical education class, a ping-pong table, and some visiting missionaries.

Besides my impaired vision, you should also know that I have extremely pale skin, which has been diagnosed as being hypersensitive.  What that means is that anything leaves a mark.  In seventh grade, the hypersensitivity was at it's peak, and if I simply scratched my skin, even lightly, it would raise a bright red welt for all the world to see.

Someone, somewhere along the way, at the junior high school I attended, decided that since they had ping-pong tables, ping-pong would be the perfect activity to pair with the wrestling unit for their physical education classes.  On a given day, half of the class would be wrestling, while the other half would play ping-pong.
One spring day, the phys ed period fell near the end of my school day, and I was assigned to play ping-pong.  I'd never played before, but thankfully the friend I was assigned to rally with had a bit more experience than I did.  It seemed to be going well.  I wasn't missing too many (for me anyway!), which seemed a small miracle in light of the challenges that my limited depth perception provides for hand/eye coordination.  And then it happened.  She returned the ball, hard, and I missed.  It connected solidly with the left side of my neck, stinging painfully, and immediately raising a bright red, perfectly round welt.

The school day ended, and I walked home, bursting into the house, nursing my wound, and expecting that my parents would be home and ready to offer sympathy.  Instead, what I encountered was my parents, sitting at the dining room table, chatting with long-time friends of theirs, a missionary couple visiting from Ukraine.  Missionaries who tended to be conservative, but also loved to tease.

I displayed my wounded neck, expecting the usual mixture of laughter over my unique misfortunes, and sympathy over the large and still painful welt.  Instead, before my mom could express sympathy, one of the missionaries piped up, "It looks like a hickey!  Lisa's got a hickey!"  The table exploded into laughter.

I was a naive seventh grader, only recently exposed to the vagaries of public school after years of being taught at home, and was embarrassed to have to ask what a hickey was.  Once it was explained, my mortification was complete, since kissing was not something that had ever crossed my radar, and since I took myself a bit too seriously in that pre-teen manner, and was sure that these people's teasing would be taken seriously by someone.

The welt lasted for several days, brusising slightly.  I wore higher collared shirts, hoodies and did whatever I could to conceal my injury for the next several days, certain that if a missionary could think it looked like hickey, then the junior high students who loved to bully and torment me could also make that inference.  I was nothing short of horrified at the particular turn this had taken and couldn't imagine that there would ever be a day I'd find this spectacular occurence of my clumsyness to be humorous.

A decade and a half or so later, I chuckle good-naturedly every time one of my brothers brings it up.  It comes up shockingly often, given that in the last sixteen years, I haven't gotten any less clumsy, or any less likely to be hit in the head or face by flying objects of any shape and form.  I still blame my depth perception, and my brothers will take every opportunity to share some of the more spectacular incidents of my injuries, including the ping-pong ball!  I feel sympathy for the sheltered and mortified pre-teen that I was, but mostly I'm just amused by the incident, and even by my own embarrassment!  I've even been known to tell the story myself, when the moment calls for some levity, or for proof that my lack of decent depth perception really can have some hilariously disastrous results!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 12

Before I dive in for the day, I’m putting out a plea for more questions. We’ve got about two weeks of twice weekly questions and answers left, and after that we’ll either have to end this feature, or I’ll have to scour the web and books for interesting questions to answer. I’ve been loving having questions and prompts to work from and I’d love to see this continue. So, ask me anything! There is very little that is off limits!

Today’s You Ask, I Answer question comes from Christianne again. She asked:

What do you like most about yourself?

To be honest, I cringed when I saw this question for the first time, and I’ve studiously ignored it on my list of questions until now!

I cringed because finding anything to like about myself has not been something that has come easily. I would venture that you wouldn’t know that I’ve struggled deeply with self-confidence and self-love if you simply met me on the street. You would have to know me well to see through the façade that I’ve spent years constructing. There have been times where I’ve actually found myself wishing that I could see in myself the things that others seemed to see – that I could believe them instead of believing that they were part of my carefully constructed façade.

Over the last number of years, as Jesus has worked in my life, that has begun to change, and I’ve begun to recognize that some of what others were seeing was truly me, and that many of the beliefs that I had about myself were in fact lies. That said, since my initial reaction to the question that Christianne posed was that there is not anything about me that I love, there is clearly still work to do, and healing to be accomplished.
So, what do I like most about myself?

Well, I would have to say my eyes, but in saying that, I want to clarify that I mean more than simply the physical feature of my eyes. I mean the idea of vision, and of seeing.

My physical eyes are on the green side of hazel, with lots of gold thrown in, and I inherited them from my father. I was the only one of the three of us siblings who inherited dad’s eyes. My brothers are blue-eyed like our mom. My eyes really are one of my favorite physical features, simply because I love their color. Green has always been a favorite color of mine, and I feel like my eyes are quite pretty.

When we’re talking about vision, my physical vision is unique. I’m nearsighted in one eye, and far-sighted in the other. It’s a prescription that makes the people who fit my glasses every few years scratch their heads in confusion, and double-check with me to confirm that those numbers ARE really what my eye doctor meant to jot down! It’s the result of astigmatism in both eyes and of a lazy left eye. You can use the left lens on my glasses as a magnifying glass! The lazy eye essentially means that my brain doesn’t properly process the signals it receives from that eye, meaning that I rely on my right eye as the primary source of vision. If we’re ever having a conversation, and you’re sitting to the left of me, you’ll probably notice that I’ll turn my head so that you’re included in the field of vision from my right eye, allowing me to see you more clearly. Because I primarily rely on one eye for my vision, the other major consequence is that I struggle with depth perception. I’ve learned to compensate quite well over the years, but it does mean that I’m perhaps a bit more clumsy than you would expect, and that I often misjudge and bump into the corner of a desk or the edge of a doorframe. It also meant that as a not very athletically inclined child in a family of athletes, I was hit in the face by many, many flying objects. Soccer ball, nerf dart, basketball, volleyball, floor hockey puck, ping-pong ball – all of these have hit me in the head or neck!  Sometime, you should ask me to tell you my unfortunate junior high ping-pong story!

The physical aspect of eyes and vision aside, I think what I love (and conversely probably hate at times) most is the way that Jesus has shaped my ability to see.  I've shared in this space before that I am deeply sensitive to the spiritual realm, often aware of atmosphere and things that other people never notice.  Among other things, I think because of my own experiences, I tend to be particularly sensitive to those who struggle with various mental illness and fear issues, and I often know that they are struggling with these things long before they share that with me in words.  It has taken a good deal of time, but I've come to see these sensitivities as a particular gift from Jesus to me, a way to be invited into prayer, and into coming alongside of others.  Learning to walk with this vision is something that remains an ongoing challenge for me, but, as I said, it is something I've come to see as a special gift from Jesus to me, something that allows me to see and experience a greater part of his heart.

Whew!  That was a long answer to a short question!  Thanks for asking it, Christianne.  I'm glad I finally sat down to answer it.  If any of you have any sort of follow up questions, as always, leave them in the comments!

You Ask, I Answer, Take 11

Today's You Ask, I Answer question is a follow up question from You Ask, I Answer, Take 6 which dealt with the topic of travel, and in which I mentioned that I spent about 4 weeks in the country of Malta about three years ago.

Jenny asked:

Why Malta?  I don't know much about it, but it does seem like a beautiful country.

Malta was a lovely country, though let me tell you, for the Mediterranean, it was a lot colder than I expected it might be in January.  A lot of the cold had to do with the fact that it's a tiny island and very windy.  The rest (at least in my opinion!) had to do with the fact that central heating is non-existent and everything is built out of limestone and marble, making for very chilly interiors in the colder parts of the year!

So, why Malta?

Well, I was invited to join a group of friends, as part of a team that was traveling to Malta to participate in and help to facilitate a 24/7 Prayer Room with some Maltese Christians.  My own prayer life had been changed when I'd encountered 24/7 in the last half of university, via the church that I was a part of at the time.  Prayer suddenly became something creative, active and meaningful, and God spoke and worked in my life, meeting me in surprising ways through my time in various 24/7 prayer rooms.

Some of my friends had had long term connections to the Maltese church and had made some journeys there leading up to their inviting a number of others to join them.  God had already put Malta, and the friends who were inviting me heavily on my heart, and when they asked, I felt the Lord confirming that I needed to go, and agreed to join them.  Ultimately, about 10 of us from all over Canada traveled together and participated in the prayer room and had the chance to see parts of the country of Malta, meet with various believers there, and spend time praying for this island that dates it's history with the Christian faith back to the shipwreck of St. Paul.

The trip definitely changed my life, though not at all in ways I thought it might.  The results were very different from what I expected, but, three years later I'm not sorry I went.  I still believe that God asked me to go and I believe that He has used all that resulted from that trip to shape and form my relationship with Him in new and infinitely deeper ways.

You Ask, I Answer, Take 10

Today's question is once again from Johanna in Germany, who asked:

What kind of sport do you like?

My brothers would tell you that the sport I participated in for twelve years is not actually a sport.

Yes, it's synchronized swimming.

I started at age 6, and swam until I was 18.  For the last six years I worked as a volunteer coach, first as an assistant, and then as a head coach, teaching primarily 6 and 7 year old girls the basics of the sport.  I loved it.  My partner was a great friend and we did everything together for a solid twelve years.  I swam to music ranging from Celine Dion to Disney to Chariots of Fire and 70s classics like "Seasons in the Sun".

These days the sports I participate in are pretty much limited to a lot of walking and the occasional yoga class or hiking trip.

As for watching sports on television, well, I'm a very bad Canadian.  I HATE hockey, passionately.  I don't mind watching American (NFL) football, but I almost always fall asleep.  I grew up in a family that loved sports, but somehow that passion never transferred.  If I'm going to watch a sport on television, I tend to prefer less violent, individual sports - I like watching things like skiing, snowboarding, swimming, even luge!  But mostly, if I'm going to watch television, I watch cooking or home design shows or dramas.  I'm just not a sports fan!

As always, if there are follow-up questions, or something new that you have a burning desire to know, leave it in the comments or send me an email!