Tuesday, October 12, 2010

My Reality

I've been thinking a lot lately about the realities of my life right now.  Some of them are humorous, some of them are just hard, but they're all things that are part of my reality, things that I have to navigate each day.

My reality includes (among other things):
  • A bathroom door that doesn't reach to the ceiling
  • My bathroom is also missing a ceiling and a normal floor.  It has a broken toilet paper holder (grandma broke it a month or so ago when she decided my bathroom needed to be cleaned.).  And it has spiders sometimes.
  • No bedroom door, just a curtain (a fact that needs to change.  soon.)
  • Feeling kind of displaced as I spend my days at one home, and my nights at another.
  • A bathroom light that has wiring challenges, meaning you have to flick the light on and off several times to get it to stay on.
  • A basement window that doesn't latch, so grandma has jammed it shut with a butter knife
  • Figuring out how to really engage life in the moments where it feels more like exile than real life
  • odd dreams
  • a weird lighting/wiring set-up in the basement that means I use my iphone as a flashlight every single night to make the trek from the front door, down the stairs and through the basement to my living space
  • Because my grandma has a thing about saving money (LONG story) and has actually timed showers, most days I shower in a different house than the one I sleep in
  • walking through hard personal stuff, day by day
  • navigating some pretty odd family dynamics that have cropped up around my living situation
  • waiting - to find out about what kind of job to look for, to find out if I've been accepted into school, and on a number of more personal fronts.
  • and, most recently, figuring out the arrival of my somewhat sketchy uncle, now also living in the same home as my grandma and I.