Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 74

Today's Daily 5:

1. Getting in and out of an early morning downtown appointment quickly and easily
2. the new experience of being inside the American consulate here in Calgary
3. staying at mom and dad's, meaning that when a second unplanned trip downtown became necessary, it wasn't a several hours long endeavour.
4. eating leftovers from the lunch a friend treated me to yesterday for lunch today
5. nachos as a snack at house church
6. playing with baby M.
7. great discussion, and seeing the house church group really come together and get interested as we've embarked on a new study together
8. a long hot shower on a cold day, knowing no one is timing it, no one is worried about the water bill, and I could just stand there until I really relaxed
9. a hot mug of tea
10. listening to a sermon on the bus.

How You Doin'?

I watched a re-run of Friends yesterday, an old episode where Joey is coaching Rachel on how to ask a member of the opposite sex for a date.  His advice was something along the lines of "I just look a girl up and down and go 'How you doin'?'"

I laughed at it yesterday and thought of it today when a friend sent an email asking how I was.

I replied honestly that it has been a "mostly okay" day.

A few minutes after I replied I got a phone call that heightened an uncertainty, a "don't borrow trouble" moment that I'd been working hard to set aside.

And it reminded that this is my reality too.

That right now, even the good, or "mostly okay" days, have the potential to become unbalanced in moments.

I preface any conversation that has even the potential to be emotional (positively or not so much) these days with "Everything makes me cry right now, just ignore the tears."

I've discovered that when that downward swing hits, sometimes it lasts and sometimes I can corral it back into submission.

I've learned that exercising just as that swing hits can sometimes lead to successful corralling of it.  It just means I have to push through the onslaught of the downward swinging mood, and the fact that I hate to exercise.  Even yoga.  I rarely regret the exercise once I've done it, but I wouldn't ever say I enjoyed it (unless we're talking about say, a day walking all over a zoo, or a theme park, or the city with friends).

And I'm learning to trust that this weird emotional place I'm existing in won't last forever.  That as I heal and piece my life together again, it will pass.  And in the meantime, don't mind me - everything makes me cry these days!