Friday, February 03, 2006

In Song

Okay, so I know I wasn't going to post until Sunday or Monday, but I had a few minutes this morning, and this was too good to leave.

I think God is speaking to me in single song lyrics. Does He do that? Because it seems kind of random. But I've been woken up before my alarm twice this week by single lines from songs, that seemed to set a theme for the day or answer a question I hadn't even given voice to.

On Tuesday, the day that my friend's mom died, I woke up with the line, "Thy Mercy my God is the theme of my song, the joy of my heart and the boast of tongue..." from a Caedmon's Call song playing through my mind. I needed to spend that day meditating on His mercy. It gave me something to cling to in the aftermath of the next few days.

This morning it was a single line from a Rita Springer song, who, by the way, I only discovered this week, because I was informed that I would not want to miss Tehillah Monday because she was playing. So I went, and I didn't want to miss it, and then a friend loaned me her CD and I've been loving it these last couple days. But anyway, I woke up with the single line, "It's gonna be worth it..." playing through my head this morning. And it seems to be the answer to the question I haven't even dared to voice thus far. The question that asks if it really is worth it to invest all this time into someone so broken? If visiting her today, which is sure to increase my level of stress and discomfort for the next couple of days is worth the effects on my own health and stability? And God seems to be saying, "Yes! It's going to be worth it!"

Okay then. Here's to God waking me up with the answers to unasked questions, and themes for my days. And here's to Him doing it in music, rather than in vague and somewhat disturbing dreams!

God, I stand here with open hands before you, longing to receive. Thank you for the answer. I needed that this morning! Pour your blessings and wisdom on the days before me. Use me as vessel of Your love and light. I am so amazed by the things you have done in my life. I am amazed to be woken by you. I love you. Abba, I belong to you.