Hope.

Hope is a crazy word. A deeply important word in my life. A topic of many conversations. Something that I feel like I've lost in some spheres of my life lately. It's a prominent thing in my life. And it made me smile when I did the "What's Your Word?" quiz and got the following result:

Your Word is "Hope"

You see life as an opportunity for learning, growth, and bringing out the best in others. No matter how bad things get, you always have at least a glimmer of optimism. You are accepting and forgiving. You encourage those who have wronged you to turn over a new leaf. And while there is a lot of ugliness in the world, you believe that almost no one is beyond redemption.

What's Your Word?

Let me know what your results are.

As tall as the average Japanese woman...

What Your Height Says About You

You are a very vulnerable and spiritual person. Your emotions run deep. You have a philosophical and poetic soul. You think things through and are a bit of a skeptic. You tend to be very opinionated. You are a perfectionist with high standards. You prefer to work alone. You work hard, and you don't like interruptions. You are about as tall as the average Japanese woman.

What Does Your Height Say About You?

I like these goofy little quizzes from time to time, and this one made me laugh. It's also mostly true. Except that I'm not a huge perfectionist, and depending on the day, my preference for working alone, or with someone else changes.

Sleepless?

They've now proved scientifically that lack of sleep makes your body less able to fight off illnesses like flus and the common cold. You can read the study here.

Have I mentioned that I'm working on making sleep a more regular, and lengthy feature in my life these days?

Comfortably Situated

I am propped up in bed. With three pillows behind me, and another beneath my knees.

I have magic bags draped across both of my feet and ankles, which are desperately glad that I decided to set aside any and all tasks that required standing tonight. I slipped on some snow and ice yesterday and fell. Not badly really. Just a moment that was lacking in gracefulness. (And who can be graceful, really, in winter boots and coat, while walking down a slope on an icy, snowy lakeshore?) I didn't think it was all that bad at the time - I knew I'd twisted one ankle a bit, but upon waking this morning and attempting to move I discovered that it was perhaps a bit worse than I'd thought. It would seem that I actually managed to roll both ankles as well as twist my left knee. I climbed three flights of stairs this morning on my sore knee and ankles. I wasn't yet ready to acknowledge that I might be in pain, and I was avoiding someone who arrived at the building at the same time as me and was taking the elevator. I couldn't bear the idea that my first human interaction of the day would be an insincere conversation with said person. Taking the stairs was a mistake. I discovered today that limping is a difficult proposition when you can't take the extra weight on your opposite leg. So I kind of waddle for the moment. It looks goofy.

I'm sorting through bills. Catching up on some emails. Making lists. There are lit candles scattered around the room. That always makes me happy.

I'm still not feeling too great - I got quite ill at work on Friday, and though I've managed to eat at least one meal a day since, my stomach is still being choosy. So I had toast for dinner. Followed by blue jello. I love jello. Yes, I know what it's made of, but I love it anyway. (Just as a side note, if you've ever watched or participated in synchronized swimming - that stuff that makes their hair so shiny - clear gelatin. It's the dickens to wash out later, but does the trick for keeping your hair in place in a way that no hair gel will. And it actually makes your hair incredibly soft.)

Eventually here I'll get around to some reading - I have a new book to start, and I'm nearly finished re-reading a favorite from last year's list. I may even take some time to catch up on life and write in my journal. Or I might just watch last week's episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice online while semi-reclining, since I did go to all the trouble of getting comfortably situated.

Henri Again

The daily emails from Henri Nouwen have been uniquely challenging this last while, and the most recent ones are no exception...

Growing Beyond Self-Rejection

One of the greatest dangers in the spiritual life is self-rejection. When we say, "If people really knew me, they wouldn't love me," we choose the road toward darkness. Often we are made to believe that self-deprecation is a virtue, called humility. But humility is in reality the opposite of self-deprecation. It is the grateful recognition that we are precious in God's eyes and that all we are is pure gift. To grow beyond self-rejection we must have the courage to listen to the voice calling us God's beloved sons and daughters, and the determination always to live our lives according to this truth.

Trusting the Catcher

Trust is the basis of life. Without trust, no human being can live. Trapeze artists offer a beautiful image of this. Flyers have to trust their catchers. They can do the most spectacular doubles, triples, or quadruples, but what finally makes their performance spectacular are the catchers who are there for them at the right time in the right place.

Much of our lives is flying. It is wonderful to fly in the air free as a bird, but when God isn't there to catch us, all our flying comes to nothing. Let's trust in the Great Catcher.

The Spiritual Work of Gratitude

To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives-the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections-that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only truly grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for.

Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.