Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Missing Quiet

I've been thinking lately about quiet. I've heard a lot recently from various friends and others about the value of silence, about the value of seeking that quiet space for just you and God. They have good points.

5 years ago, when I started out my post secondary career at Mt. Royal, and was desperately struggling to build a prayer life, or to determine if a prayer life was even something worth pursuing - prayer seemed like such a pointless and dead thing at that time - a friend made a suggestion for seizing moments of quiet and using them for prayer. She told me to use the time I spent in the public bathrooms at school to pray. She said that if I used that time, at least I was praying a consistent 10 plus minutes a day, and that it was a good way to start.

Mostly, for the first while, I laughed to myself every time I found myself in the bathrooms in a public place. What a ridiculous suggestion! Slowly, though, I began to pray, and those silent prayers in the privacy of a bathroom stall developed into an ongoing silent conversation with God throughout my day. Five years later, when I am walking alone to the train, or in the public bathroom, or wandering through the mall on my breaks from work, it is the most natural thing in the world to have a silent conversation with God.

Lately, though, I have been missing my quiet space. To prove that there is no space sacred enough to avoid advertising, Chinook Centre has recently installed television screens in the mirrors of their bathroom. These televisions loudly interrupt the former peace of the "throne" room, and I have spent less time praying, and more time trying to catch the commercial for the upcoming "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" movie.

It's funny how much I miss those ten minutes of quiet time with God. I know, the bathroom still seems like a weird place to do my praying, and to share my heart with God, but it was the place I was most consistency in the habit of doing those things. Depression has wreaked havoc on the regularity and consistency of the rest of my devotional practices, and, as advertising invades my last routine for time with God, I find myself longing for that time, wondering where I will build a new habit to replace it, and whether or not it really is ridiculous how much I miss quiet in a public bathroom!