Thursday, June 29, 2006

Sitting and Thinking

I'm a bit tired today, drained from a week that has thus far been quite busy. I'm a people person, and I tend to pour myself completely into whatever person I'm spending time with at any given moment.

I also need lots of time alone, but that time hasn't been as restful lately. I spend quite a lot of my alone time shut in my bedroom, away from my family. It feels a little like hiding or prison, but is so much smoother and easier than the stress of spending tons of time with them and feeling that I need to defend the choices I'm making in life. When I was sharing my situation at house church on Tuesday, one of the guys mentioned that his sister and her husband are in a similar situation, living with her husband's parents for a time. I've thought of them this week, and prayed for an easing of tension, a calmness and peace.

I spent a chunk of the morning with a friend who is off to China in about two weeks, and is off to facilitate a kids camp for the next ten days or so. We caught up on each others lives, and took advantage of what will be one of the last two times we'll see each other before she heads for China and then returns to her home in Langley directly after China. She's one of the people I'm hoping to spend some time with when I hopefully make a trip to the West Coast towards the end of September. We met on my trip to Mexico, and have been together fairly regularly since. I value her friendship and thoughts highly - she thinks deeply and loves God wholeheartedly.

I just finished reading a book by Chaim Potok titled "Davita's Harp". A beautiful story, that poses uncomfortable questions. I loved the depiction of the history, the religious tension, and so on. It left a sweet if somewhat unsatisfied taste.

I find myself fascinated again recently by Judaism, and the Jewishness of Jesus. The depth that is added to scripture by a strong understanding of Judaism, by studying the Old Testament using Jewish sources, by recognizing that Christ was shaped by and spoke initially to a culture that is not "Christian" is fascinating. Been listening to some sermons by Rob Bell, reading some of "Velvet Elvis" and reading Potok's work. All of these are increasing my fascination. I think one of my next reads will be "Wanderings: Chaim Potok's History of the Jews."

I'm also loving the prophetic books of scripture at the moment. Reading chunks of Isaiah, and planning to wade my way through Ezekiel and some of the minor prophets again. The first time I read through the entire Bible I fell in love with Ezekiel. Seems funny to me now, but I loved it. I continue to be captured by Isaiah 61 - the message of redemption promised. I feel myself being pulled ever deeper into the things of God, the things He is speaking, and I am anxiously excited for what He reveals. I hunger for His words, for knowledge and understanding of that which He is speaking, to see His hands moving and join Him in His works.

I'm off soon for a short work shift at the Bay this evening. Had a job interview yesterday, and a couple scheduled for tomorrow. Still waiting for something to be provided. Still waiting for complete release.