Lonely

I find it funny that I can be in a head space where the last thing in the world that I want to do is be around people, and yet feel lonely.

And yet, I'm feeling that tonight. I'm hiding out in my bedroom to avoid the noise and chaos of life with roommates. Particularly the noise and chaos that comes from the constant presence of one roommate's fiancee in our home.

But I'm missing connections with the sorts of friends who truly see my heart. One of those friends phoned me this afternoon with an invitation to join his roommates and himself to hang out by a lake. I had to turn him down due to the need to participate in my family lunch. I wished in so many ways that I could spend some time with them. Spend some time laughing.

Lately I find myself counting down the hours until it's late enough to go to bed legitimately.

This week promises to be unique, starting with an appointment I have tomorrow night. An appointment I'm rather apprehensive about.

And it will be another full week. Which, when I'm feeling tired and lonely, just makes me feel more tired to even think about it. So, I'm trying not to think about it.

About 2.5 hours until I can go to bed.

And then a full week to come.

I'm peopled out, but lonely. Go figure.

Zoo and Family

I made it to the zoo after all. And the mall. And family lunch.

Our tech support guy came. Seems it didn't help all that much, though we thought it did at the time. The latest theory is that one of our neighbors has a electronic device that interferes with the signal from our wireless router.

So, I went to the zoo. To visit my gorilla friends.

And then I went to have lunch with my family. Where as usual, I felt quite single. Which is okay, but weird all at the same time.

My mom wanted to take family pictures. My parents are heading off to Africa for three weeks later this week, and mom is always asked for pictures of all of us. So, I've included one of my brothers and their girlfriends and I, and one of my brothers and parents and I for your perusal.

Sunday Morning Hanging at Home

I was hoping (for the third weekend in a row) to go to the zoo this morning. But, I'm waiting for an internet tech support guy to show up at my house. He's coming between the very specific time slot of 8 am and 5 pm. And he'll be calling with only fifteen minutes notice to tell me he's coming. I can't get home from the zoo in fifteen minutes.

So, I'm hanging out at home this morning.

I'll be making a quick run to the mall eventually to pick up a couple of things I forgot to get yesterday. I can get home from the mall in 15 minutes.

And I'll be heading to my parent's house for lunch a bit later. Mom is having her usual pre-travel "I must gather all my children around me" moment. And I can get home from their house in 15 minutes too.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to read. I haven't been doing much reading lately. It's been hard to focus and my attention span has definitely suffered through this last year of health struggles. But I kind of feeling like reading this morning, so, for a while at least, until the mall opens and I can head out to do my necessary errand, I think I'll read.

And, I think I'll treat myself to starbucks at the mall. I'd like a cup of iced passion tea lemonade to curl up with while I read.