Sunday, May 17, 2009

Mental Debate

I'm having this mental debate right now.

To do, or not do something.

If I do it, is it because I feel a need to justify myself? If I don't do it is it because I'm afraid?

It's supposed to snow tonight.

Which really has nothing to do with my mental debate. But is also something I'm thinking about.

I'm missing some days gone by. And people I care about.

Both of which are playing into my mental debate.

I think I'll sleep on it. Again. For as many nights as it takes until I know deep in my gut what the answer is.

And for now, for now I'll go back to watching an episode of M*A*S*H*, pause and do a bit of devotional reading and praying, and then attempt that sleep.

It was a full and productive day, mental debate notwithstanding, and I pray that tomorrow, despite the impending snow, will be equally productive.

Thus Far

Thus far today I:
  • have emptied the compost bucket
  • have taken out the garbage
  • have taken out the recycling
  • have swept and mopped the kitchen floor, and scrubbed the kitchen counters
  • have scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom
  • have cooked myself lunch
  • have mowed the back lawn
  • have developed one blister and several tender spots on my hands
  • have done two loads of laundry
It's been a good day thus far. Lots of clean and new.

All things new

I'm thinking this morning about that verse that ends "He makes all things new."

I get a craving for newness every so often. It doesn't really matter what kind of newness.

I stayed in bed until past 10:30 this morning, mostly sleeping. It was a nice change.

I'm wrestling a little with some things I've read and seen the last little while.

I'm praying for friends in various spots around the world, friends who are struggling, one who flew across the planet the other day, hoping for just one more chance to see her father before he passed away. Others who are travelling, seeking God. Some who are getting ready for marriage, and others only recently married. For some children I love. For my family.

I have a need for newness this morning.

So, today, today I'm going to clean, and work around the house. I'm going to sort and organize. I'm going to mow the lawn, and put all the recycling in the blue bin ready for pickup this week. I'm going to simplify. I'm going to work on revising a budget and check the status of my student loans. I'm going to choose not to worry about George, and the possible costs of repairing him. I'm going to watch M*A*S*H*. I'm going to write in my journal and possibly work on a creative project. I'm going to paint my fingernails and pamper myself a little.

I'm going to create cleanliness and newness around me today.

And ask Jesus to make all those other things that are on my mind new as well.