Overthinking

I am...

overthinking.

Crap.

I'm going to bed.

I am...

I am…

• Wearing mostly new clothes with a favorite old sweater on top.

• Glad that tomorrow is Friday

• Perpetually curious

• Bad at sleeping

• Often tired

• A lover of many things green

• Convinced that you are happier when you wear color and variety, than when you wear only black and white, or a uniform

• One who has experienced healing

• One who longs to see healing worked in the lives of others

• A perpetual book buyer

• The owner of well over a thousand volumes (and growing!)

• One who reads with a pen in hand, marking all my favorite bits for easy access later on

• Addicted to memoirs

• Constantly thinking out loud

• Easily distracted

• More likely to drink water than just about anything (except perhaps tea)

• A lover of beauty

• Short (or more nicely put, petite)

• Going to Malta in two weeks

• Rebooking my plane ticket from Malta to London, to let me spend a few days with friends in London before returning to Canada

• A control freak

• In love with cute shoes

• Unable to pass up a bargain

• Convinced that milk chocolate is how chocolate was meant to be – creamy and sweet, and that dark chocolate is just a bit too medicinal to truly be considered chocolate

• A person with texture and smell issues when it comes to food

• A lover of Jesus

• An occasional mystic

• Completely pragmatic

• A loner who loves people

• An introvert who eventually gets tired of herself

• A television lover for the way it (usually) lets me disengage my over-active brain for an hour or two

• More likely to fall asleep if there is a book on tape playing nearby

• Fond of simple things

• A daughter

• A sister

• A granddaughter

• A cousin

• A friend

• An (occasional) writer

• Happily single (with rare exceptions)

• Not a lover of children (with five exceptions and room for more as certain friends begin having families)

• Good at my job (but ready for a break from it)

• Currently sporting shorter hair than I have in a while and dyed eyelashes

• A fan of clean clothes and sheets, but a loather of doing laundry (well, actually, folding laundry) and changing sheets

• Part of a crazy inter-connected group of people spread across the country who love to pray

• At turns quiet and at turns very, very loud

• A lover of U2

• Rather tone deaf, and unlikely to be caught singing where you can hear me

• Completely convinced that singing along with the radio while driving alone is the only way to go

• A country music fan

• Intuitive

• One who cares deeply

• Eventually going to get a masters degree from a seminary in counseling

• A dreamer

• Loved

• Learning what it means to be thankful on a daily basis

• Slightly odd

• Completely sarcastic in a deadpan sort of way in all the wrong moments

• Constantly having to explain that I was being sarcastic when someone takes an outrageous deadpan remark of mine seriously

• An idealist

• happiest when I'm comfortable

• constantly being stretched

• learning to be okay with things that I've known are true about myself for a very long time

• a lover of truth

• often accused of being blunt

• not always quick enough to filter the thoughts before they burst out of my lips

• not usually a poet or a reader of poetry, but every once in a while something fantastic comes along, and I read it, or write it, and fall in love with words and poetry and beauty all over again.
  

• at rest, peaceful and filled with joy tonight.

Another Day

I did the praying I intended last night, and as I suspected it might, it carried into my sleep. Weird dreams. Tossing and turning. And an early morning to get my roommate to the airport on time.

Oddly, though, I'm okay with the turn my life has taken. I'm okay with knowing my soul prays incessantly while I sleep. I'm even kind of okay with the dreams.

There is a certain nearness of Jesus in this space, and for that I am grateful.

So, I'm sitting here at my desk, about to begin another work day, staring at the venti passion tea I picked up at Starbucks after I dropped my roommate at the airport, and I'm grateful. Grateful for a Lord who speaks (even in the middle of the night!).