Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Full to overflowing

My brain is absolutely full to overflowing. I don't think I can take in one more thing until I find a way to digest some of the stuff that's already sitting there.

So much input in the last week or two. So many things on my mind. So many voices, and authors, and words.

Friend in trouble. Illness and darkness.

Sadness at the news that another friend has completely rejected the freedom she'd gained, thrown the healing that was hers to the wind.

A story I felt compelled to tell when I spoke at a youth retreat for ten kids six months ago opening doors for a conversation and a chance to tell someone they're not alone just last night.

I'm cutting keys to my house to give to someone who desperately needs a safe place to just chill off and on for the next while.

A disappointment when something I've been waiting a year for didn't happen today, but got postponed until Friday sometime.

Need to meet with my brother to plan a Sunday school schedule for the rest of the fall. To find out when he wants to teach, how much, what does he want to talk about?

A chance to stand alone in the shower, lean against the wall, and just rest.

Two remote controls, a cell phone, two Bible translations, four books, two journals, a myriad of pens, a bottle of water all within arms reach.

The candles have burnt out for the night.

The reflection of light off the photographs hanging on my walls. Lampposts and Paris.

The neighbors upstairs are quieter than usual, but I can still hear them.

Overwhelmed at the nearness of God. Overwhelmed, a little uncertain - why now? What are You saying?

Frustrated with my work situation - though I still feel like He's asking me to stay.

Detour on the bus on the way home today.

Dozed off as it took longer than normal.

Woke when my phone vibrated with a text message from Rae.

Hoping friends will join me and others for an event at the end of the month.

I need to plan a lesson for Sunday school this week.

I have no idea what to teach.

Another recruit (two if you count the boyfriend that comes with her) to fill slots for the prayer room I'm hosting for 24 hours at the end of October.

Plans to see Paul Brandt in concert in November with at least a couple of friends.

A Grey's Anatomy season 3 marathon scheduled for Saturday night. Megs is bringing the junk food.

Thinking about Peru a lot today, and wondering about learning Spanish.

Still waiting for a friend to send me the Spanish translation of the Lord's prayer - the prayer I learned in high school Spanish, and fell in love with, but have forgotten the last half of.

I listened to U2 all day at work today.

U2 is the music I listen to when I'm in the mood to push through stuff, to break through.

I don't know yet what it is that I'm feeling so compelled to push through, but I was in a fighting mood all day.

Alone in the living room.

What's weighing on me?

Time to read, to meditate, to pray, maybe to journal, and then to sleep.

It starts all over again tomorrow.