Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Daily 5 - Day 223

I feel a bit like I'm grasping to find words this week.  A bit like I'm living with feet in two different worlds, and that I'm not particularly functional in either.  In any case, it's somewhat grounding to show up here each night and make a daily 5 list.  To remind myself that however much I'm feeling overwhelmed as I try to process the things going on inside of me, the things external to me, the tough challenges some that are dear to me are facing right now,  and as I work to reintegrate my worlds again, that I can be grateful.

So, here's today's daily 5:
  1. 2910 posts here.  How crazy is it to think that over the last quite a few years, I've shown up here 2910 times with something to say or to share?
  2. Hanging out with my friend A. tonight
  3. Cheap pasta night at Chianti's.  Thanks to lots of hot, fresh bread, served with a plate of olive oil and balsamic vinegar for dipping, my single order of pasta, costing me about $10 including tip, was a satisfying supper, and will feed me for lunch tomorrow as well.
  4. Went through some stuff that has moved with me through all of the moves I've made the last several years.  Pared WAY down.
  5. Water.  For swimming, showering, drinking, sitting by.  Love water.

Treasures from Henri

Amidst the busyness of the last few weeks, a few more treasures from Henri Nouwen have collected in my inbox, just waiting to be shared.

An Honest Being-With


Being with a friend in great pain is not easy. It makes us uncomfortable. We do not know what to do or what to say, and we worry about how to respond to what we hear. Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear than out of our care for the person in pain. Sometimes we say things like "Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday," or "You will soon be your old self again," or "I'm sure you will get over this." But often we know that what we're saying is not true, and our friends know it too.

We do not have to play games with each other. We can simply say: "I am your friend, I am happy to be with you." We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence. Sometimes it is good to say: "You don't have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you."

The Virtue of Flexibility


Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and are standing up again when the storm has calmed down.

Flexibility is a great virtue. When we cling to our own positions and are not willing to let our hearts be moved back and forth a little by the ideas or actions of others, we may easily be broken. Being like wild reeds does not mean being wishy-washy. It means moving a little with the winds of the time while remaining solidly anchored in the ground. A humorless, intense, opinionated rigidity about current issues might cause these issues to break our spirits and make us bitter people. Let's be flexible while being deeply rooted.

Not Breaking the Bruised Reeds


Some of us tend to do away with things that are slightly damaged. Instead of repairing them we say: "Well, I don't have time to fix it, I might as well throw it in the garbage can and buy a new one." Often we also treat people this way. We say: "Well, he has a problem with drinking; well, she is quite depressed; well, they have mismanaged their business...we'd better not take the risk of working with them." When we dismiss people out of hand because of their apparent woundedness, we stunt their lives by ignoring their gifts, which are often buried in their wounds.

We all are bruised reeds, whether our bruises are visible or not. The compassionate life is the life in which we believe that strength is hidden in weakness and that true community is a fellowship of the weak.

Claiming the Sacredness of Our Being


Are we friends with ourselves? Do we love who we are? These are important questions because we cannot develop good friendships with others unless we have befriended ourselves.

How then do we befriend ourselves? We have to start by acknowledging the truth of ourselves. We are beautiful but also limited, rich but also poor, generous but also worried about our security. Yet beyond all that we are people with souls, sparks of the divine. To acknowledge the truth of ourselves is to claim the sacredness of our being, without fully understanding it. Our deepest being escapes our own mental or emotional grasp. But when we trust that our souls are embraced by a loving God, we can befriend ourselves and reach out to others in loving relationships.

Sharing Our Solitude


A friend is more than a therapist or a confessor, even though a friend can sometimes heal us and offer us God's forgiveness.

A friend is that other person with whom we can share our solitude, our silence, and our prayer. A friend is that other person with whom we can look at a tree and say, "Isn't that beautiful," or sit on the beach and silently watch the sun disappear under the horizon. With a friend we don't have to say or do something special. With a friend we can be still and know that God is there with both of us.

Scribbled Circles Test

I thought that the results of this one were fairly accurate, actually.


You Are Consistent




Of all the types, you are the most disciplined and the most ethical. You have high ideals.

You thrive when you are able to be an advocate for causes that you believe in.

Some people may say that you are a bit stubborn and inflexible, but you're more tolerant than they realize.

You do your best to live a principled and just life - which can make you a bit tense and critical at times.

Catch-Up

It's only Tuesday morning and this week is overwhelming me already.

Work was nuts yesterday with the receptionist out of the office.  In between answering the phones (which picked yesterday to ring off the hook), I was frantically trying to make calls to people who are notoriously hard to reach to schedule two last minute conference calls.  I managed to handle both, but that's about all that got done yesterday.

After work I unexpectedly had the opportunity to head to mom and dad's for dinner and a treatment from mom.  So much for the "to do" list for last night.

I'm playing catch-up already.

This morning at work is for catching up if at all possible on the "it just didn't happen" tasks from yesterday.

As for the personal "to do" list, well, I'm out every night for the rest of the week, so most of that will probably have to wait for Saturday.