Friday, April 16, 2010

Daily 5 - Day 246

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Holding baby A. for a while tonight at the conference.
  2. Friday
  3. Jeans at work
  4. The deep sense of God's nearness, all day.
  5. Late night conversations in a dark car with friends

You Want me to What?

Maybe I'm the only one, but I have a nearly constant internal narration or dialogue.

Years ago, I worked to cultivate that as part of my prayer life, and I try to be consistently internally dialoguing with God throughout my day.

Lately that dialogue has held a somewhat shrieky tone at times.

Usually just moments after God asks me to do something that seems, well, insane.

My response tends to be an internally shrieked, "YOU WANT ME TO WHAT???"  (As a side note, I wish I could add sound to my blog - I'd be happy to demonstrate the audio version of this particular statement.)

Because some of the requests have just been crazy.

And the results?  Well, they've been crazy too.

I had one of those conversations last night, about a particular situation.

To be fair, this time God gave me some advance warning.  He doesn't usually do that.  I had a bit of time between the request, and the execution, and it helped.

But a day later I'm still laughing at the fully ironic and ridiculous nature of what ensued in what was supposed to be just a quiet evening of me attending a conference with some friends, soaking up some time in God's presence in a different format than is readily available to me these days.  (Did I mention that I'd been looking forward to that evening for weeks, and God's plans were, umm, quite a bit different from what I'd had in mind?)

It's a good story for sharing over tea sometime - ask me, and I'll be happy to oblige.  With sound effects.

In the meantime, am I the only one screeching "You want me to what?" at God on a semi-regular basis lately?

Weighty Headspace

I'm in a weird headspace this morning.  A good one, but weird, in that it is rare and unusual.

I haven't felt like this since a particular lovely day last fall in Stratford, filled with a crazy church service, twirling beside the river, swans, and dear friends.  It's a funny, weight of God's presence very near, sort of headspace.  I hope it doesn't go away for a while, even if it does have me giggling at random moments as I sit here in my office.

I have blog posts brewing and bubbling inside me at the moment, too.  I'm not totally sure when in the next few days I'll get a chance to write them, but there are posts about things like a humorous potential new tagline for the blog, and moving into Grandma's house, and one with the title "You Want Me to What???"

In the meantime, I'm going to sit here and enjoy this weighty, joyful, peaceful headspace.  This presence of God near.  And I'm going to laugh at some of the crazy, ironic, "god has a bizarre sense of humor" events that have shaped my week, and wonder what else this week will hold.  And I'm going to make myself a cup of tea.  Because it seems like passion tea will go well with this headspace.