Of all the liars in the world...

Things I love/am thankful for/that are making me smile - the November 7, 2007 edition!

• Weather that's not absolutely freezing cold right now.


• That this coming Monday is a holiday for me.


• That plans for hosting a prayer room in my house this weekend are taking shape.


• That my brother's surgery last week went quite well and the surgeon is hopeful that he will again be able to use his wrist and play guitar.


• Starbucks passion tea


• Moxie's Cuban Chocolate Espresso Mousse shared with Janneka last night - just as completely deadly as it sounds!


• Janneka


• A chance to see my parents tonight


• my nose piercing (which seems to be healing well) that reminds me of the miracles Jesus has worked in my life every time I glance in the mirror (or wrinkle my nose!)


• a heavy duvet on my bed


• sweat pants for comfort when you're sleeping or not feeling well


• casual Fridays


• A Wednesday that seems a little less all over the place than the last several Wednesdays have been


• my ipod that lets me have my entire musical library at my fingertips while at work


• emails from friends


• cute shoes


• that I seem to have lost some weight (even if it is probably from stress and illness)


• friends who are praying people


• a decent working relationship with my boss


• an upcoming chance to do some traveling


• Psalm 3, Psalm 91, Ephesians 6


• green beans


• blackberries


• smoked gouda


• potatoes cooked almost any way possible


• a warm sweater to wear in my cool office


• dreams


• friends who push me into new spaces


• mountains


• a beautiful sunset driving home from work on Monday night


• that I don't have to take public transit on Friday because my roommate will be out of town and has offered me the use of her car


• An upcoming Saturday in the mountains with a friend


• facebook - for the communication it lets me have with friends spread across the country and around the world


• a new camera


• a functioning new cell phone that I'm finally getting used to


• a phone call from Alex last night, excited about the upcoming weekend


• that the atmosphere in my office is calmer today


• people that have a heart for the non-western world


• people that have a heart for the western world


• the color blue


• candles


• nag champa incense


• artists and the way they see and share the world with us


• an office full of plants to add life


• bottled water

I am feeling quite ill again today. Nausea. Stiff, tight muscles, headache.

It seems that this has been happening a lot in the last few months since my life once again shifted into an intense season of change and growth.

If the pants I'm wearing for work today are any indication, I've once again lost weight. They're sliding down my hips, and they used to be tight. The weight loss (though I have been trying to eat more healthily and exercise more regularly) can probably be attributed to the number of days I've felt like I do today - little or no appetite, generally smaller meals, and eating less often.

I can't get sick this week. I don't have time to be sick this week. I have a meeting tonight, prep for an event I'm hosting this weekend tomorrow night, and then, 24 hours of prayer in my living room, with youth kids and friends, from Friday night at 7 pm to Saturday night at 7 pm. (By the way, if you're interested in coming to pray (and I'd love to have you!), either look me up on facebook - I've created an event - or email me lpippus (at) telus (dot) net)

I wonder a bit about the way the spiritual affects illness. It certainly affects my mind and body in other ways, does that mean it can make me ill as well?

But I have to say, in spite of the illness I've battled the last several months, in spite of the illness I'm battling today, I've never been in a better space. I am living in a place of intense closeness to the Father, and to His people. I am being called daily to deeper and new things. I am overwhelmed, shocked, and completely grateful for this latest hijacking of my life. I may have health problems - but I am living in a space of well-being.

I got this great bit this morning from the Henri Nouwen society, and am once again passing it along to you. (In case you wonder why I put all of these up on the blog, it's mostly for me - I can store them somewhere where they won't be lost if they're on the blog, but if they're in my work email, they clog the box, and are hopelessly hard to wade through. I just hope you enjoy them as much as I do!)

Telling the Story of Jesus

The Church is called to announce the Good News of Jesus to all people and all nations. Besides the many works of mercy by which the Church must make Jesus' love visible, it must also joyfully announce the great mystery of God's salvation through the life, suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus. The story of Jesus is to be proclaimed and celebrated. Some will hear and rejoice, some will remain indifferent, some will become hostile. The story of Jesus will not always be accepted, but it must be told.

We who know the story and try to live it out, have the joyful task of telling it to others. When our words rise from hearts full of love and gratitude, they will bear fruit, whether we can see this or not.

Can I just say that today I'm the person who has the job you're all thankful that you don't have?

The atmosphere around my office has been weird for the last several months, sometimes spiraling out of control. I've written about that before.

Some stuff happened at a major meeting over the weekend that has once again stirred things in our building. This time they've managed to involve a separate company on the floor below us.

Emotions are running high, and there is tension in the air.

I'm sitting right in the middle of it.

AND, I'd also like to ask when I became the person to whom the office staff air their grievances with each other, and with people from other organizations?

I was talking with the girl who had this job before me (a friend, and the reason I now have the job). She described my job as being like a "bartender." It's an accurate description. I even have an elbow level counter the whole way around my desk, for people to lean on as they air their problems.

It's fine in small doses, but, in the midst of everything else, I'm not loving it.

And besides - I've been so sensitive to the spiritual atmosphere in places and people lately that I'm usually picking up on (and occasionally experiencing as my own without immediately realizing it) all their really negative emotions long before they ever start speaking.

Don't get me wrong - I actually like my job, my coworkers most days, but this week, today, I'm tired, and I don't really want to be sitting here in the midst of this explosive atmosphere.

In the last day, I've had blog visitors from locations scattered across Canada and the United States, Spain, Romania, Argentina, Japan and Indonesia. That's quite the international mix!

In October I had the highest number of visitors to this blog since it began. Thanks to all of you who stop by on a regular basis to see what I'm thinking about. Leave me a comment sometime and tell me who you are!

City transit made me twenty minutes late for work this morning. It took me an hour and 40 minutes to get in. And I even got to the train station a few minutes earlier than usual.

Faye has a brilliant post here. I've occupied the spaces she's talking about, and she speaks of her struggles with eloquence and grace and depth that I rarely found in the midst of those spaces. Faye doesn't post often, but when she does, her posts nearly always leave me breathless.

And with that, I'm back to work...

A Ministry of Healing and Reconciliation (Henri Nouwen)

How does the Church witness to Christ in the world? First and foremost by giving visibility to Jesus' love for the poor and the weak. In a world so hungry for healing, forgiveness, reconciliation, and most of all unconditional love, the Church must alleviate that hunger through its ministry. Wherever we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the lonely, listen to those who are rejected, and bring unity and peace to those who are divided, we proclaim the living Christ, whether we speak about him or not.

It is important that whatever we do and wherever we go, we remain in the Name of Jesus, who sent us. Outside his Name our ministry will lose its divine energy.

It’s Monday again.

I’m listening to U2. “…sometimes you can’t make it on your own…” Feeling the deep truths in those words this morning.

I’m chewing gum – trident mint in the dark blue package.

(little known fact – I can’t stand mint flavor in anything except gum and toothpaste.)

My nose is itchy. They say that means that it is beginning to heal.

The itchy nose is stretching my self-discipline. The guy who pierced it lectured me about how our fingers and hands are very dirty – teeming with bacteria and so forth. “Don’t touch the piercing – that’s how you get infections!” So I’m sitting her, crinkling my nose every so often, hoping to relieve the occasional itches in that fashion.

The day after I got the piercing, I crawled out of my sleeping bag at the friend’s house I was staying at, and stumble groggily across the hall to use the bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I wondered, “What is that thing on my face?” And then it all came back to me.

(another little known fact – because of my extremely weird vision – nearsighted in one eye and far sighted in the other – a lazy eye and astigmatism – I can see my nose at all times in the corner of my line of vision. I can now see a tiny sparkling object in my nose at all times – thus making the nose piercing the perfect constant reminder of the redemption and healing of Jesus that I’ve received).

There’s a weird atmosphere going on in the building again today. Apparently an important meeting over the weekend went poorly, lots of airing of old grudges, lots of infighting. I heard the description and thought “This is why Christians have a bad reputation. Two perfectly respectable organizations, founded on Biblical principles, doing good works both here and abroad, and there is ridiculous infighting and bearing of grudges.” There’s a lot of hurt and anger in the air today. I’m glad I wasn’t at the meeting. It’s hard to bear just the results.

A good friend is moving back to Calgary. I’m glad. Tea dates are much easier to have when you live in the same province and city.

Plans are taking shape for at least a month abroad early in the new year.

U2 is playing because I once again feel as if I’m fighting through something. U2 makes me feel as if I might just make it to the other side of the fight.

I need to get back to a routine of stretching, breathing, lighting candles and incense and slowing down.

I need to sit with a journal and sort out some thoughts, feelings, prayers from the weekend.

I need to go to the store where I purchased my camera last week and get the price adjusted.

I need to arrange a phone call with a dear friend sometime this week.

I need to sit with my budget, and figure out how long exactly I can afford to spend abroad in the new year while still covering the rent at my home here.

I need to do some prep work for hosting 24 hours of prayer in my living room this coming weekend.

I need to remember to breathe.

I eat lunch with the same coworker almost every day. She loves to ask big questions about faith and life and God and scripture, and see how I respond. We call it the "question of the day".

Today, she told me at coffee break that the "question of the day" is "What does God think about euthanasia?" Cause that's a happy conversation over lunch!

Thinking and praying about how I want to respond to that one...

Wondering how some of you would respond... leave comments if you feel like telling me how you'd answer that question!

I'm back. I have a pierced nose. I'm processing slowly. I promise pictures, and a full account of the weekend sometime soon. However, in the meantime, I have several challenging comments from Henri Nouwen on poverty and the church, and poverty in the church for you to mull over.

Going to the Margins of the Church

Those who are marginal in the world are central in the Church, and that is how it is supposed to be! Thus we are called as members of the Church to keep going to the margins of our society. The homeless, the starving, parentless children, people with AIDS, our emotionally disturbed brothers and sisters - they require our first attention.

We can trust that when we reach out with all our energy to the margins of our society we will discover that petty disagreements, fruitless debates, and paralysing rivalries will recede and gradually vanish. The Church will always be renewed when our attention shifts from ourselves to those who need our care. The blessing of Jesus always comes to us through the poor. The most remarkable experience of those who work with the poor is that, in the end, the poor give more than they receive. They give food to us.

Who Are the Poor?

The poor are the center of the Church. But who are the poor? At first we might think of people who are not like us: people who live in slums, people who go to soup kitchens, people who sleep on the streets, people in prisons, mental hospitals, and nursing homes. But the poor can be very close. They can be in our own families, churches or workplaces. Even closer, the poor can be ourselves, who feel unloved, rejected, ignored, or abused.

It is precisely when we see and experience poverty - whether far away, close by, or in our own hearts - that we need to become the Church; that is hold hands as brothers and sisters, confess our own brokenness and need, forgive one another, heal one another's wounds, and gather around the table of Jesus for the breaking of the bread. Thus, as the poor we recognise Jesus, who became poor for us.

Becoming the Church of the Poor

When we claim our own poverty and connect our poverty with the poverty of our brothers and sisters, we become the Church of the poor, which is the Church of Jesus. Solidarity is essential for the Church of the poor . Both pain and joy must be shared. As one body we will experience deeply one another's agonies as well as one another's ecstasies. As Paul says: "If one part is hurt, all the parts share its pain. And if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy" (1 Corinthians 12:26).

Often we might prefer not to be part of the body because it makes us feel the pain of others so intensely. Every time we love others deeply we feel their pain deeply. However, joy is hidden in the pain. When we share the pain we also will share the joy.

The Poverty of Our Leaders

There is a tendency to think about poverty, suffering, and pain as realities that happen primarily or even exclusively at the bottom of our Church. We seldom think of our leaders as poor. Still, there is great poverty, deep loneliness, painful isolation, real depression, and much emotional suffering at the top of our Church.

We need the courage to acknowledge the suffering of the leaders of our Church - its ministers, priests, bishops, and popes - and include them in this fellowship of the weak. When we are not distracted by the power, wealth, and success of those who offer leadership, we will soon discover their powerlessness, poverty, and failures and feel free to reach out to them with the same compassion we want to give to those at the bottom. In God's eyes there is no distance between bottom and top. There shouldn't be in our eyes either.

I'm leaving town for the weekend, and I don't think I'm taking my laptop with me, so it'll probably be quiet around here for a few days.

Jason Upton is playing a conference in Red Deer. I've been looking forward to this all year. A whole group of us, staying at the home of some dear friends in Gull Lake, hanging out, praying and worshiping together.

I'm taking one of my youth kids along with me. Pray for us, would you please? This is a girl with some pretty big stuff going on in her life right now. Scary stuff. Hard stuff. Good stuff too. I arranged to just have her in my car on the way up. Two hours to just catch up, debrief the week a little before going into the weekend.

Pray for me, too. I tend to neglect myself in order to care for others, and the young woman I'm taking with me needs a lot of care right now. I'm really asking Jesus for the wisdom to know when to step back and allow myself to be ministered to, to receive, to go to the deep places.

I'm getting my nose pierced this afternoon. Meeting Kari in Red Deer, and the three of us (her, me, and my youth girl) are going together to the piercing place. I'm a huge fan of the whole "marker stone" concept. I like really physical things that remind me of the important God moments in my life. My bedroom is full of things like that - artwork, photos, stones, candles, and so on. I want to mark the healing that Jesus gave me two years ago with a physical reminder on my body - so I'm piercing my nose. I want to be reminded every time I look in the mirror of the work of healing and redemption that Jesus has worked in my life.

My baby brother is having surgery at this moment, and he's heavily on my mind and in my prayers. They're trying to correct a problem that has prevented him from playing his guitar for the last year. Pray for him, too, if you think of it. I'll call home from Red Deer tonight to find out how things went.

I picked up my rental car a little while ago. Red. Mazda 6. Managed to figure out how to adjust the seat up - when I first got in I thought I was going to have to sit on a pillow to do the driving today - I couldn't see over the steering wheel properly! (the many disadvantages of being 5 foot 2!)

Need to finish packing, and head out to do some errands before I pick up my youth girl and head out for the weekend!

See you Sunday or Monday!

This is a photo from this morning. I'm loving photos of clouds lately, and, as I was walking through the park, this moment with the sun, coming through the trees and the heavy grey clouds stopped me in my tracks.

I went to my favorite park - a place that over the last year has become the place I go to think, to pray, to meet with God. I've gone there in most of the moments when I most desperately needed to process, to think, to sort things out, to journal, to pray.

I went there this morning because today, November 1, 2007, I am celebrating two years depression free. I took the day off work today, and I am celebrating with a retreat day, a day to rest, to restore, to catch up. Two years ago today, I had one of the most incredible encounters of my life, walking around a neighborhood in a blizzard, and sitting in the dark in a dear friend's car. That night, out of desperation, after seven years of depression, many of those full of moments where I quite simply wanted my life to end, I let my friend do what he'd been asking me to let him do for much of the previous year. I let my friend lead me in front of Jesus. And though we never directly asked for healing, something changed, and (though it took me three months to fully believe it) Jesus took my depression, and I've been depression free ever since.

So today, I'm celebrating. I'm hanging out with Jesus. And I started in the park. This has been a day filled with simple moments. No major, profound encounters, just the knowledge of the presence of Jesus, and a heart filled with joy.

This is me, at the park this morning. I bought a camera this week, and it has this great feature that lets me see the picture of myself I'm taking, while I'm taking it.










This is the spot, by the creek that I often sit in. It's also the spot, where, one morning about a month ago, I went wading. I built an altar in this spot about a month ago too. It's my spot - I go, I talk to Jesus there. That's what I did this morning, too. I went, I talked to Jesus. I wanted to say thank you. I threw a few stones, took a few photos, and simply soaked in the knowledge that two years ago my life looked really different.



Today is about celebrating and saying thank you. Later tonight I'm leading a Bible study, and I'll serve them my favorite cake (which I bought last night). They don't necessarily need to know what we're celebrating (though if they ask I'll tell them), but I want to celebrate.

Tomorrow I'm headed out of town for the weekend. To see Jason Upton play a conference. To be with dear friends. To get my nose pierced. To continue the celebration.