Wednesday, February 01, 2006

On Hold

I know I promised a well-written account of the things God has done in my life in this last while. But it seems to be on hold for the moment. Circumstances have once again intervened.

For the next while, I'm going to be busy educating myself on things like grief and post-traumatic stress. I'm going to be walking with a very broken young woman as she begins to face the loss of the mother she had only recently begun to rebuild a relationship with.

I find myself exhausted today. It has been emotionally trying. There weren't tears when she called me with the news last night, but there were definitely tears this morning. I got very little sleep last night, thanks to a few nightmares and a mind that just refused to quiet and rest. I'm once again battling the illness that has been recurrent since mid-October, and would greatly appreciate any prayers for my own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health in these next days. I am very aware of my own vulnerability as I step into what promises to be a greatly intensified series of struggles and crises with my friend.

My thoughts are far from telling my own story tonight. They are focused intensely on my role in the here and now. I was blessed to only have to work three hours instead of eight today. My boss took one look at me, listened to my story, and rearranged the schedule to allow me to leave at four this afternoon. I took some time when I got home to crash for a little while. It was very needed.

I've passed funeral details along to all the appropriate people, and now I'm going to lay in a bubble bath, with a Bible, a pen, a couple of emails of encouragement that arrived for me today, and a novel. I need to take the time to restore my own soul before I step into the challenges that are sure to come over the next few days and weeks.

I'll be away for the weekend, so blogging will be scarce for the next several days. My church is having a retreat weekend, and I'll be there. I'll also be visiting my friend on Friday, to spend some time caring for her, and give her a break from the tense family situation that she's facing in the wake of her mom's death. Another friend has agreed to drive out to see her with me, and he and I would greatly appreciate your prayers as we seek to care for her and love her for a few hours. The funeral is Sunday afternoon, and I'd love your prayers for that day as well.

Grief and Prayers

I received a call about a half an hour ago. My friend's mom passed away this evening, after battling cancer for much of the last few years. I feel helpless, an hour away from my friend (her mom was in a small rural hospital for these last few months.) I'm wishing I was with her so that I could wrap her in my arms and cry with her.

I would covet your prayers for her and her family in these next days. I would covet too your prayers for my own wisdom as I seek to support, love and uphold my friend through this time. The loss is huge, the timing is never right here on earth.