Wednesday, February 01, 2006

On Hold

I know I promised a well-written account of the things God has done in my life in this last while. But it seems to be on hold for the moment. Circumstances have once again intervened.

For the next while, I'm going to be busy educating myself on things like grief and post-traumatic stress. I'm going to be walking with a very broken young woman as she begins to face the loss of the mother she had only recently begun to rebuild a relationship with.

I find myself exhausted today. It has been emotionally trying. There weren't tears when she called me with the news last night, but there were definitely tears this morning. I got very little sleep last night, thanks to a few nightmares and a mind that just refused to quiet and rest. I'm once again battling the illness that has been recurrent since mid-October, and would greatly appreciate any prayers for my own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health in these next days. I am very aware of my own vulnerability as I step into what promises to be a greatly intensified series of struggles and crises with my friend.

My thoughts are far from telling my own story tonight. They are focused intensely on my role in the here and now. I was blessed to only have to work three hours instead of eight today. My boss took one look at me, listened to my story, and rearranged the schedule to allow me to leave at four this afternoon. I took some time when I got home to crash for a little while. It was very needed.

I've passed funeral details along to all the appropriate people, and now I'm going to lay in a bubble bath, with a Bible, a pen, a couple of emails of encouragement that arrived for me today, and a novel. I need to take the time to restore my own soul before I step into the challenges that are sure to come over the next few days and weeks.

I'll be away for the weekend, so blogging will be scarce for the next several days. My church is having a retreat weekend, and I'll be there. I'll also be visiting my friend on Friday, to spend some time caring for her, and give her a break from the tense family situation that she's facing in the wake of her mom's death. Another friend has agreed to drive out to see her with me, and he and I would greatly appreciate your prayers as we seek to care for her and love her for a few hours. The funeral is Sunday afternoon, and I'd love your prayers for that day as well.

5 comments:

karen said...

Girl...you have one big plateful, haven't you? Prayers for your physical, mental, and spiritual health. I pray this illness you've been dealing with is gone. Tough days ahead...but you can handle it...

Lisa said...

thanks, Karen.... much appreciated.

Christine Boles said...

Prayers ascended~

Nolan said...

Dear Jesus, thank you for the beautiful sunrises and sunsets the last couple days and the wonderful view of the mountains that I shall be in tomorrow. Heal Lisa's body tonight. Give her mind rest and peace while she sleeps.
Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.
God I know Lisa's worried about seeing her friend tomorrow and how to console her, and for all the rest of the tomorrows because it won't go away soon.
So God, this is what she needs and she knows it: you. She needs you to give her energy for each day. She needs you to reassure her that she's not a professional counsellor (yet) and this isn't a job to be performance rated for. She's extending friendship and a huge chunk of her heart and she's doing terrific with that.
She needs you to fill in the blanks of wisdom. She needs you to keep her healthy with friends and good food and books and music and a family who loves her deeply and who you can grant a greater understanding of Lisa to.
She needs you to calm her down when her thoughts are racing.
She needs you to hug her tight when she's overwhelmed and about to cry.
She needs you to tell her you love her back with generous frequency because you know how much she loves you.
And she is wonderously thankful for everything you've done already. It's actually very easy to tell. You've taken her life and ruined it and she's delighted when she can actually catch her breath to think about it.
You've brought close friends home again.
You've given her a short work day yesterday.
You've held her up.
You've kept her going.

Bless her abundantly God.

Lisa said...

Christine, thanks for the prayers.
Nolan... wow, has someone been telling you stories about me... some of this is, in your words, freakishly accurate! Thanks for the encouragement. See you at the retreat this weekend?