Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Mostly Dark

I’m sitting here in the mostly dark, and the light from my laptop screen is reflecting off my glasses, catching on every speck of dust or smudge, and highlighting the fact that they need to be wiped clean. My chair is just below my window, and it’s open, letting in the cool late evening air, and the ambient noise from nearby streets. I’m at peace.

My life feels like that right now too… mostly dark, but at peace. No real illumination. Lots of places where I am paused, waiting for what comes next. Where I have taken every step that has thus far presented itself, and now I wait, in the mostly dark – just enough light to know that things beautiful and freeing are coming, but not enough light to yet claim them.

Maybe the mostly dark is what it’s all about anyway… just enough light to move from one step to the next. I’m thinking of a Bruce Cockburn lyric “…another step deeper into darkness/closer to the light…”

I’m thinking too about all the various scripture passages…

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path…”

“You will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way. Walk in it.”

“The Lord turns my darkness into light…”

“before I go…to the land of deepest night, of deep shadow and disorder, where even the light is like darkness…”

“He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light.”

“When I looked for light, then came darkness.”

“He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit and I will live to enjoy the light.”

“You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning. My god turns my darkness into light.”

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light…”

Cockburn again:

Gone from mystery into mystery
Gone from daylight into night
Another step deeper into darkness
Closer to the light

All's Quiet on the Office Front...

I am in between tasks, with a little free time while most of the staff are in meetings. I am sporadically busy these days. I’ve spent large chunks of each day over the course of the last week or so sticking return address labels on what will ultimately be 5000 envelopes. I have 1500 (3 boxes!) left to go.

I inadvertently played third wheel for most of last night, when M. invited a guy along to our girl’s night out. You really can’t take a boy to Ikea unless you’re married to him. It just doesn’t work. They mock the furniture, gasp at the prices, and just generally refuse to get into the spirit of the thing.

They talked me into accompanying them and another friend to see a late movie. “Hot Fuzz.” Very British. Quite funny. Very gory. Lots of somewhat extraneous violence. A send up of every bad cop movie ever made, done with a dry sense of humor. M. and I agreed about halfway through, while we were looking at each other, instead of a particularly gory on-screen sequence that the guys now owe us a VERY sappy chick flick out of the deal. Also, not something I’d recommend watching late at night, when you have to get up early and you suffer from nightmares. I figure I got off pretty easily by avoiding the nightmares this time, and sleeping quite restlessly.

Tonight I have plans to clean the house (we have company – my possible future roommate – arriving Sunday), maybe do an errand or two, and do a couple of hours of work for the church (they’re paying me to do some admin stuff while Dad is overseas this time – a nice way to pick up a bit of extra cash just in time for hopefully moving out…) Maybe a bit of television or a DVD thrown in for good measure.

And with that, I think I’ll go back to sticking labels… See you later!

The Power of the Spirit

More from Henri Nouwen...

The Power of the Spirit

In and through Jesus we come to know God as a powerless God, who becomes dependent on us. But it is precisely in this powerlessness that God's power reveals itself. This is not the power that controls, dictates, and commands. It is the power that heals, reconciles, and unites. It is the power of the Spirit. When Jesus appeared people wanted to be close to him and touch him because "power came out of him" (Luke 6:19).

It is this power of the divine Spirit that Jesus wants to give us. The Spirit indeed empowers us and allows us to be healing presences. When we are filled with that Spirit, we cannot be other than healers.