Monday, October 05, 2009

Daily 5 - Day 55

Today's daily 5:
  1. A tasty hamburger at a pub for dinner
  2. "real" hugs from a couple of good friends
  3. laughter even when I was really too tired to properly emotionally engage
  4. That Jesus loves us deeply, even in our really broken spaces, and being reminded of that today
  5. feeling Jesus speak, and knowing that he is changing things in me even amidst the really hard stuff.

rattled...

I'm feeling pretty spent right now.

A bit hurt and angry, and in need of a session venting. My blog is definitely not the place for that today.

I've had some pretty unfair and hurtful labels and accusations thrown my way today.

It's been a long time, maybe never, since I've stood truly alone (in human terms anyway... bearing in mind that Jesus is with me) on an issue.

I'm feeling rattled, struggling a bit to concentrate, and I'm tempted to say more here than I'm certain is appropriate.

So I think I'll stop now.

I'm having tea with a long time friend after work tonight. Perhaps I'll vent a bit to her. Or maybe I'll save the venting for my journal, and just collect a hug and some laughter from her. Because I could use both today.

So...

I've had a bit of a crazy day thus far.

I did manage to get a bit of sleep. But I dreamt wildly, deeply, intensely all night long. Strong and disturbing images, leading me to pray and think and wait and wonder.

I had a long and serious conversation with my boss this morning as well. About the issues I was wrestling with on Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure yet if I'll say much more about how that conversation went. Except to say that I am both disappointed in the outcome, but completely unsurprised. I'm still praying about taking one further step. I pray that it was a conversation where I used my words to point rather than chop. I think it was, though I'm fairly certain that was not how it was received.

There have been ravens flying past my window every few minutes this morning. Perching where I can see them. There are often birds, but rarely ravens. The ravens are oddly encouraging this morning.

And with that, I have much to accomplish, and less time than usual to do it in this week, so I'd better get at it.