Aflight

Ian over at Shallowfrozenwater posted this video last week, and I had to share it with all of you, since I found it truly lovely, and reminiscent of the way creation so often cries out of God in my heart.  I watch something like this and find myself in awe, and wanting to worship.



Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

So...

I've had a bit of a crazy day thus far.

I did manage to get a bit of sleep. But I dreamt wildly, deeply, intensely all night long. Strong and disturbing images, leading me to pray and think and wait and wonder.

I had a long and serious conversation with my boss this morning as well. About the issues I was wrestling with on Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure yet if I'll say much more about how that conversation went. Except to say that I am both disappointed in the outcome, but completely unsurprised. I'm still praying about taking one further step. I pray that it was a conversation where I used my words to point rather than chop. I think it was, though I'm fairly certain that was not how it was received.

There have been ravens flying past my window every few minutes this morning. Perching where I can see them. There are often birds, but rarely ravens. The ravens are oddly encouraging this morning.

And with that, I have much to accomplish, and less time than usual to do it in this week, so I'd better get at it.

Friday Smile List

Well, it's Friday again, and we all know that I like Fridays. However, sometimes they start out really great, and by the time I make it home in the evening, I'm starting to feel lonely, crabby and exhausted. So, I thought I'd start the process of gratitude and choosing joy nice and early today, and share a few things that are making me smile.

• Jeans at work
• a mug of passion tea, a leftover donut, and a tin of canned peaches for breakfast
• sunshine outside my window
• a great quote for the day (see my earlier post) on the calendar that was a gift from a friend
• the memory of a greeting card I purchased recently. (I'm sure one of you will get it in the mail from me.) The front has a picture of some trees and a large grey "hill" and reads "Everyone should believe in something bigger than themselves." You open it and discover that the "hill" is a part of an elephant, and read "I believe in elephants." This is my rather twisted and deadpan sense of humor. When I saw this one, I had to purchase it.
• the large raven that just flew by my window
• the fact that I have an office window
• hemp lip balm from the body shop
• the audio book I'm currently listening to as I drive to and from work
• a very cute and comfy hoody
• the prospect of a long weekend
• plans to do a bit of shopping after work, and then head home and engage in my favorite decadent pasttime by hanging out in a nice hot bubble bath with a mineral mask on my face, watching last night's season finale of Grey's Anatomy on the internet
• owning an ipod, which lets me listen to such a wide variety of things while I'm driving to and from work
• a fun conversation this morning with a coworker
• plans to go for a nice long drive and listen to a much more heavy audiobook tomorrow while enjoying the scenery of the mountains and foothills.
• the fact that I was actually sort of hungry to eat breakfast this morning
• the memory of a prayer a friend emailed to me the other night, where she asked God to arrange for me to get some hugs this week - I have gotten a few - a few really heartfelt ones, and one really awkward one, but I'll take them any way they come!

And with that, I'm off to start what promises to be a very full day!

Just Keep Walking

As I woke this morning, after passing another long night where I never slept for more than an hour and a half in a row, all I could do was lay with my face buried in my pillow and utter a whispered demand, “God, you’d better go with me and give me strength today, or I’m not going to make it.”

Not the most diplomatic, or polite sort of request, but one I’ve found myself uttering quite a lot lately.

This morning, uncharacteristically, as I made my way to work and settled in at my desk, there were lots of little reminders that He is indeed “going with me” through this day.

There were song lyrics on my ipod during the commute.

There was a whispered murmur of a way to pray for a friend.

There were birds. All sorts of birds. Swooping and dashing and landing at just the oddest moments as my heart cried out for hope.

There was an email – a daily scripture passage and prayer from the Moravians – that talked about just the things I’d been talking about with Jesus as the song lyrics and birds stirred my heart.

Little reminders to persevere. Little reminders that in the midst of the struggle and the exhaustion and the pain, He is present and offering me a strength on which to lean. So I'll just keep walking, assured, for the moment at least, of His presence.

seeing birds...

I've had two odd "bird" encounters today...

The first was as I was walking to the train this morning (before I knew that it was going to make me very late). I was studying the clouds, and noticed one in particular, hanging separately from the others. Shaped like a dying bird (a swan, or maybe a duck), plummeting from the sky... Caught my attention, my breath, watching until the cloud finally morphed shape and joined another bank of cloud.

At lunch, just now, I was having a rather intense conversation about Jesus, and other things - big moral issues, with a coworker. She loves to pick my brain - to ask huge questions, and then hear what the questions make me think about. Today we talked about heaven, about rape, about abortion among other things. And for several minutes as we spoke, I was aware of a crow (raven? - how do you tell the difference?) sitting on a light post across the roof, watching. Eventually I glanced down, then back up, and it was gone.

This is an odd, off-kilter sort of day. Clouds with beautiful, majestic birds plummeting from the sky. A dark bird witnessing a conversation about Jesus. All of the other things I already wrote about.

And yet, as I walked back from the restaurant where I picked up lunch for myself and my coworker, all I could hear were some song lyrics...

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord
And my spirit exalts in God my Saviour
For He has looked with mercy on my lowliness
And so my name will be forever exalted
For the mighty God has done great things for me
And His mercy will reach from age to age

And holy, holy, holy is His name

(Steve Bell - The Magnificat)