The actual move itself went very smoothly. Very smoothly. I was so thankful for the help of family and friends who made it such a smooth process.
The transition isn't feeling quite so smooth right now.
My internet wasn't properly connected. Supposedly it'll be working by late Monday night. The phone company that is my internet supplier assures me that it's very rare that these kind of problems happen. Tell that to someone who hasn't had them botch the move of services for three consecutive moves now.
So, I'm borrowing my brother's laptop, and using the internet for a bit at mom and dad's house this afternoon.
Sleep was a pretty fleeting thing last night. It usually is in a new place, but I've been having sleep issues all week again, and a new place with new noises just made it worse. The trouble is, that as a rough sleep week drags on, the nightmares sometimes come. Last night was like that. I woke about every 20-30 minutes all night, and then capped it off with a nightmare in the early hours of the morning, just before finally waking.
Right now I'm honestly wondering if living at this new place will ever feel like it's my home, or if I'll always feel like a guest there. And I'm wondering how it will work, living with Grandma. Every trip upstairs last night - to use the shower, to get a glass of water, necessitated a ten minute conversation. I've lived there less than twenty-four hours and I'm already feeling like I want to just hide in the basement. I actually deliberately waited to go upstairs this morning until I was certain that she'd left for church, just because, after a rough night, I wasn't feeling up to her questions and chatter. I left her house this morning before she was home from church for sort of the same reason.
On the plus side, I did manage to get my clothes at least sorted out this morning. I know where most of them are, and my basic toiletry items. So I should be set for the return to work tomorrow. That, at least is encouraging.
My grandma has apparently told everyone I know about her great excitement that I will be living with her now, and I'm running out of polite and respectful ways to deflect their questions about that when I run into the same people.
Today I'm definitely at, "Please don't ask."
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Mish Mash of Saint Quotes
A whole collection of quotes (mostly from the calendar on my desk) that have collected in my inbox over time and were waiting to be shared
"Even if I am tired, even if exhausted, at the end I can find rest on the heart of Jesus." (Saint Bernadette Soubirous)
To pray is to lie in constant, calm, strong, and lasting union with God, to look at everything from God's point of view, and to be so peacefully anchored in eternity that annoyances, unavoidable struggles, and continual activity have no ability to disturb us or to drag us down. (Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur)
There are moments in life of special importance, such as when the Lord shows us the way to be followed and then leaves it up to our will to respond. (Blessed Margarita de Maturana)
Only in the heart of Jesus do we find the definitive support, deep strength, and total understanding of our soul and its needs that enable us to progress and advance toward him. (Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur)
You, O eternal Trinity, are a deep ocean, into which the more I penetrate, the more I discover, and the more I discover, the more I seek you. (Saint Catherine of Siena)
“I myself am very glad that the divine child was born in a stable, because my soul is very much like a stable, filled with strange unsatisfied longings, with guilt and animal-like impulses, tormented by anxiety, inadequacy and pain. If the holy One could be born in such a place, the One can be born in me also. I am not excluded.” (Morton Kelsey)
The immaculate conception of the Blessed Virgin leads us to realize and adore the omnipotence of God because grace totally vanquished nature in her...The knowledge that God gives us of the immaculate conception of the Blessed Virgin should cause us to glorify him eternally for this masterpiece of his omnipotence in a nature that is purely human. (Saint Louise de Marillac)
You must never ask Jesus to wait. (Saint Ursula Ledochowska)
Advent is the season of the secret, the secret of the growth of Christ, of divine love growing in silence. ...For nine months, Christ grew in his mother's body. By his own will, she formed him from herself, from the simplicity of her daily life. (Caryll Houselander)
We are in Advent. We remember that a woman held in her arms a child, and that child was God. If we remember that, then we are givers of peace, we are lovers of the Beloved. We own him through love. And he owns us! The most extraordinary thing in the world is that God loves you and me! (Catherine de Hueck Doherty)
Whoever surrenders unconditionally to the Lord will be chosen by him as an instrument for building his kingdom. (Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross - Edith Stein)
The season of Advent is like springtime in nature, when everything is renewed and so is fresh and healthy. Advent is also meant to do this to us - to refresh us and make us healthy, to be able to receive Christ in whatever form he may come to us. (Blessed Teresa of Calcutta)
Rejoice and be glad that so great and good a Lord, on coming into the Virgin's womb, willed to appear despised, needy, and poor in this world, so that men who were in dire poverty and suffering great need of heavenly food might be made rich in him. (Saint Clare of Assisi)
I am nourished by your will, O mighty one! Your will is the goal of my existence. (Saint Faustina Kowalska)
"We are called to be saints, all of us; do not forget that." (Saint Katharine Drexel)
"Apart from the cross, there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven." (Saint Rose of Lima)
Be trustful, firmly believing that God always provides for souls who trust in him. Then the devil is powerless because of the power of the trust in God. (Saint Catherine of Siena)
We have no desire other than to glorify God by fulfilling at every moment his divine will. Let's always live with great joy. God is infinite joy. (Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes)
My spirit engrossed itself in the benefits that God has lavished on me throughout this whole year. My soul trembled at the sight of the immensity of God's graces. From my soul, there burst forth a hymn of thankgsiving to the Lord... All that this year contained has gone into the abyss of eternity. Nothing is lost. I am glad that nothing gets lost. (Saint Faustina Kowalska)
"Even if I am tired, even if exhausted, at the end I can find rest on the heart of Jesus." (Saint Bernadette Soubirous)
To pray is to lie in constant, calm, strong, and lasting union with God, to look at everything from God's point of view, and to be so peacefully anchored in eternity that annoyances, unavoidable struggles, and continual activity have no ability to disturb us or to drag us down. (Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur)
There are moments in life of special importance, such as when the Lord shows us the way to be followed and then leaves it up to our will to respond. (Blessed Margarita de Maturana)
Only in the heart of Jesus do we find the definitive support, deep strength, and total understanding of our soul and its needs that enable us to progress and advance toward him. (Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur)
You, O eternal Trinity, are a deep ocean, into which the more I penetrate, the more I discover, and the more I discover, the more I seek you. (Saint Catherine of Siena)
“I myself am very glad that the divine child was born in a stable, because my soul is very much like a stable, filled with strange unsatisfied longings, with guilt and animal-like impulses, tormented by anxiety, inadequacy and pain. If the holy One could be born in such a place, the One can be born in me also. I am not excluded.” (Morton Kelsey)
The immaculate conception of the Blessed Virgin leads us to realize and adore the omnipotence of God because grace totally vanquished nature in her...The knowledge that God gives us of the immaculate conception of the Blessed Virgin should cause us to glorify him eternally for this masterpiece of his omnipotence in a nature that is purely human. (Saint Louise de Marillac)
You must never ask Jesus to wait. (Saint Ursula Ledochowska)
Advent is the season of the secret, the secret of the growth of Christ, of divine love growing in silence. ...For nine months, Christ grew in his mother's body. By his own will, she formed him from herself, from the simplicity of her daily life. (Caryll Houselander)
We are in Advent. We remember that a woman held in her arms a child, and that child was God. If we remember that, then we are givers of peace, we are lovers of the Beloved. We own him through love. And he owns us! The most extraordinary thing in the world is that God loves you and me! (Catherine de Hueck Doherty)
Whoever surrenders unconditionally to the Lord will be chosen by him as an instrument for building his kingdom. (Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross - Edith Stein)
The season of Advent is like springtime in nature, when everything is renewed and so is fresh and healthy. Advent is also meant to do this to us - to refresh us and make us healthy, to be able to receive Christ in whatever form he may come to us. (Blessed Teresa of Calcutta)
Rejoice and be glad that so great and good a Lord, on coming into the Virgin's womb, willed to appear despised, needy, and poor in this world, so that men who were in dire poverty and suffering great need of heavenly food might be made rich in him. (Saint Clare of Assisi)
I am nourished by your will, O mighty one! Your will is the goal of my existence. (Saint Faustina Kowalska)
"We are called to be saints, all of us; do not forget that." (Saint Katharine Drexel)
"Apart from the cross, there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven." (Saint Rose of Lima)
Be trustful, firmly believing that God always provides for souls who trust in him. Then the devil is powerless because of the power of the trust in God. (Saint Catherine of Siena)
We have no desire other than to glorify God by fulfilling at every moment his divine will. Let's always live with great joy. God is infinite joy. (Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes)
My spirit engrossed itself in the benefits that God has lavished on me throughout this whole year. My soul trembled at the sight of the immensity of God's graces. From my soul, there burst forth a hymn of thankgsiving to the Lord... All that this year contained has gone into the abyss of eternity. Nothing is lost. I am glad that nothing gets lost. (Saint Faustina Kowalska)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
God is Looking for Intercessors
A while back I was sent the following devotional by Richard Blackaby. I've hung onto it to share here.
God Is Looking for Intercessors
So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one. (Ezekiel 22:30)
God looks for those whose hearts are prepared to be intercessors before Him. Intercessors have hearts in tune with God's heart. They are so acutely aware of what is at stake, for their land, that they will stay before God as long as necessary in order to obtain God's answer. That is why you do not volunteer to be an intercessor. God enlists you.
Why do we not intercede as we should? Perhaps we are afraid to put God to the test. We worry that God might not answer our prayers. Yet God promises that if we ask, we will receive (Matt. 7:7). We may fail to intercede because we believe the busyness of our everyday lives is more effective than prayer. Jesus warned that apart from Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). Without being intimately acquainted with God and His will, all of our labors are futile. Perhaps we fail to intercede because we misunderstand the heart of God. Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem as He interceded for it (Matt. 23:37). If we truly have God's love within us, we will feel compelled to plead with God on behalf of those who face His imminent judgment.
Intercession is a lonely business. There may be many days or even years when there appear to be few results for your labor. Yet intercessors can be the only ones standing between a family and God's judgment, or between an individual or nation and God's wrath.
God Is Looking for Intercessors
So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one. (Ezekiel 22:30)
God looks for those whose hearts are prepared to be intercessors before Him. Intercessors have hearts in tune with God's heart. They are so acutely aware of what is at stake, for their land, that they will stay before God as long as necessary in order to obtain God's answer. That is why you do not volunteer to be an intercessor. God enlists you.
Why do we not intercede as we should? Perhaps we are afraid to put God to the test. We worry that God might not answer our prayers. Yet God promises that if we ask, we will receive (Matt. 7:7). We may fail to intercede because we believe the busyness of our everyday lives is more effective than prayer. Jesus warned that apart from Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). Without being intimately acquainted with God and His will, all of our labors are futile. Perhaps we fail to intercede because we misunderstand the heart of God. Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem as He interceded for it (Matt. 23:37). If we truly have God's love within us, we will feel compelled to plead with God on behalf of those who face His imminent judgment.
Intercession is a lonely business. There may be many days or even years when there appear to be few results for your labor. Yet intercessors can be the only ones standing between a family and God's judgment, or between an individual or nation and God's wrath.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 198
Today's Daily 5:
- This is probably going to sound strange to some of you, but the absolute highlight of my day was getting behind the wheel of my grandma's truck a little while ago, and driving it from her house to my apartment. But not because I was driving her truck. It's because I drove, at night, for the first time since my accident. And I was alone while doing it. And it was pretty much as panickyn as I'd been thinking it might be. And I drove all the side streets to make it home. But I'm really proud of myself for managing to do that tonight.
- Feeling actually really good about how this move is coming together.
- So grateful for being allowed to take the afternoon off and the time it allowed me tonight to just rest.
- Thankful for the family members who have been so helpful in making this move smooth.
- Thinking about the fact that this is the last night in this apartment, and grateful for the seven months we lived here. After two really brutal years, the last seven months in this place have been a time where I've finally seen healing begin to happen, and for that time I'm so incredibly grateful.
At Rest
At some point in the coming days, I want to write a bit about the process of this move, how it was that I've decided to live in my Grandma's basement at nearly 27 years of age. I want to talk about the very unique challenges that this move is creating in me.
But for tonight, I'm trying to rest. I have to go out one more time, a bit later, to pick up my grandma's truck so that it's at my house and ready to be loaded when the people who are helping me move arrive in the morning.
About half way through the morning today I realize that I was pretty much useless at the office thanks to my distraction and fairly high stress level. After a quick chat with my boss I'd gained permission to take a half a personal day on incredibly short notice. That meant that the load of stuff I was supposed to move tonight was moved this afternoon, and then I was able to come home, move quickly through the vast majority of what remained for packing tasks, do a few little cleaning things, and now I can rest.
I don't think I can quite express how grateful I am right now for my boss' flexibility this morning. It's an invaluable thing to me to be able to rest and sit quietly for a bit tonight, reflecting a little, praying a little, and just breathing.
If you've been around this blog through the last three moves, you know that my struggle with panic tends to greatly intensify in times of massive change - and particular when I'm moving. I've been so grateful to see a degree of healing in that this time. Yes, the panic is still lurking close by, but thanks to the help fo friends and family, I think tomorrow will actually be a fairly quick, one, maybe two load process, followed by some cleaning. My thoughts aren't in overdrive right now (though I am conciously stopping myself from moving, and forcing myself to take advantage of the opportunity to rest.). The very lack of thought overdrive is a total blessing, and an answer to prayer.
So, for the moment I'm resting, and thankful.
But for tonight, I'm trying to rest. I have to go out one more time, a bit later, to pick up my grandma's truck so that it's at my house and ready to be loaded when the people who are helping me move arrive in the morning.
About half way through the morning today I realize that I was pretty much useless at the office thanks to my distraction and fairly high stress level. After a quick chat with my boss I'd gained permission to take a half a personal day on incredibly short notice. That meant that the load of stuff I was supposed to move tonight was moved this afternoon, and then I was able to come home, move quickly through the vast majority of what remained for packing tasks, do a few little cleaning things, and now I can rest.
I don't think I can quite express how grateful I am right now for my boss' flexibility this morning. It's an invaluable thing to me to be able to rest and sit quietly for a bit tonight, reflecting a little, praying a little, and just breathing.
If you've been around this blog through the last three moves, you know that my struggle with panic tends to greatly intensify in times of massive change - and particular when I'm moving. I've been so grateful to see a degree of healing in that this time. Yes, the panic is still lurking close by, but thanks to the help fo friends and family, I think tomorrow will actually be a fairly quick, one, maybe two load process, followed by some cleaning. My thoughts aren't in overdrive right now (though I am conciously stopping myself from moving, and forcing myself to take advantage of the opportunity to rest.). The very lack of thought overdrive is a total blessing, and an answer to prayer.
So, for the moment I'm resting, and thankful.
Spinning
Are you sick of hearing about the process of this move yet? In case you can't tell, it's sort of consuming my life at the moment.
My thoughts are running and spinning a thousand miles a minute. Keeping me awake at night, not letting me focus.
Constant mental lists.
The "Oh! I've got to do that too!" moments.
Somehow, it'll all get done.
In the meantime, once I leave work today, I think blogging will be pretty scarce for the next few days. I've got a few posts scheduled to go live (at least one a day). I'm hoping the internet connection move goes smoothly this time, and that I'll be back to blogging my regular daily 5 list tomorrow night, only from Grandma's this time. But I'm not all that confident it'll be as smooth as all that. So. I'll see you when I see you!
My thoughts are running and spinning a thousand miles a minute. Keeping me awake at night, not letting me focus.
Constant mental lists.
The "Oh! I've got to do that too!" moments.
Somehow, it'll all get done.
In the meantime, once I leave work today, I think blogging will be pretty scarce for the next few days. I've got a few posts scheduled to go live (at least one a day). I'm hoping the internet connection move goes smoothly this time, and that I'll be back to blogging my regular daily 5 list tomorrow night, only from Grandma's this time. But I'm not all that confident it'll be as smooth as all that. So. I'll see you when I see you!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 197
Today's Daily 5:
- With help from my roommate, the majority of our kitchen is now packed. Just a few cupboards and a shelf with foodstuffs left to go.
- My bedroom is also now 95% packed.
- Reworked my budget (slight change in paycheque, plus changes in rent amounts) and am very happy with the numbers
- Managed to pull off about an hour of quieter time tonight too.
- Loved watching Joannie Rochette skate for a bronze medal tonight, especially knowing that her mom passed away very suddenly early this week.
Award - How fun!
Tea at Homemaker's Heart gave me an award last week, and I'm just now getting around to doing something about it. Thanks Tea!
•Be polite, say thank you to the blogger that gave this to you & give 'em a linkback.
•Pass it on to about fifteen other beautiful bloggers that you've recently discovered.
•Link 'em.
•Notify 'em.
•Say seven things about yourself
Okay, here's the deal. There are way more than 15 of you out there that I'd love to link to, but I'm short on time all around, so I'm just going to list a few absolute favorites, and if you want to jump in and play along, even if your name isn't listed, go for it! If you're interested in having an award, take it and share it - just leave me a comment saying that you jumped on this one.
My favorites right now include:
Here are the rules:
Okay, here's the deal. There are way more than 15 of you out there that I'd love to link to, but I'm short on time all around, so I'm just going to list a few absolute favorites, and if you want to jump in and play along, even if your name isn't listed, go for it! If you're interested in having an award, take it and share it - just leave me a comment saying that you jumped on this one.
My favorites right now include:
- Tea (I know, you gave it to me, but I've been loving reading your thoughts.)
- Allie Dearest
- Susan at A Rewoven Life
- Renee
- Faye
- Hope
- Dana
- And so many more!
- I'm allergic to oranges, but occasionally eat them anyway. Mostly at Christmas. Because what's Christmas without mandarin oranges.
- My all-time best and worst trips are actually the same trip. There are things about that particular trip that made it one of the best and also one of the worst times of my life.
- The move this weekend will be the fourth one for me in 3.5 years. This from someone who hates change, and had never moved at all for the first 23 years of my life.
- One of the bloggers I listed above is a long time "in real life" friend. And one is someone who I've now had the privilege of meeting "in real life." It was crazy how quickly that second conversation went to the deeper more personal stuff, just because we sort of felt like we knew each other and had been reading each other's blogs for years.
- I think the most perfect job in the world would be something that involved travel, writing, long, deep conversations over tea, and praying for people. If you figure out what that job is before I do, let me know.
- Though it doesn't seem like I would, I actually use my history degree every day in my current job. I specifically studied groups like the Mennonites, and now, working for a Mennonite company, that knowledge has been invaluable in understanding the clients and some of the other staff that I interact with daily, in terms of understanding the five hundred years of history that have shaped their particular cultural traits. Plus, really, not that much has changed in 500 years for some of them.
- On a related note, my proudest accomplishment yesterday was managing to bit my tongue on a sarcastic retort when a particular Mennonite man whom I interact with regularly as part of my job informed me that he "didn't know what it was, but he just doesn't really like change." I managed to stop myself from bursting out laughing and telling him that I knew what it was - it was that he was a Mennonite!
Beautiful Thoughts
I read this post from To Write Love on Her Arms last night and thought it was lovely. I suppose I particularly identified since it was written in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness week (as I've mentioned, I've struggled with disordered eating over the last several years.) But the thoughts were most definitely worth clicking through to check out.
Stirred Thoughts
My thoughts are rapidly reaching that stirred up level that seems to come when I move. That "won't slow down, can't slow down, even if I don't really need to be in a panic about this" level.
This move is by far the most under control that any of them have been, and I'm still feeling that panicking. I'm hoping tonight will alleviate that.
Tonight is the big push. I told my roommate that she needed to help me with the packing of the kitchen, as, even though I'm the official owner of most of the stuff in there, she has used it as much or more than me. So tonight we'll pack up all but a very few kitchen essentials. I'll also pack up my bathroom "stuff" (that drawerfull of products that get used occasionally), and a few last things in my bedroom. I'm hoping that I can move one more load of stuff tomorrow evening after work, before the final move on Saturday, where all the furniture will go with me, and I'll then return to the apartment, and clean it out, before heading to Grandma's to begin the sorting and unpacking process.
I'm actually hoping to purge and pare down a bit as I pack the kitchen tonight too. One of my "green" or "healthier living" goals is to slowly switch all of my plastic food storage to glass. I'm going to put all of the plastic containers that aren't higher quality in the recycling, and keep only the ones I've regularly used. Since I'm moving in with grandma, and won't need most of my kitchen goods for quite a few months (with the exception of a few things that I know Grandma doesn't have), I'm going to pack thoughtfully, purge the things I really don't use (or at least set them aside in a box to go to a thrift shop post move).
So, that's tonight. Packing, sorting, purging. Hopefully a trip tomorrow night to move some more stuff, and then the big final push, and some cleaning on Saturday. Ideally, Saturday will only be a couple of trips at most, and will only take a couple of hours. I feel like that's actually an attainable goal this time around.
In the meantime, I'm coveting your prayers. For peace and the ability to rest (sleep was rather fleeting last night in the face of my overactive thoughts). For the move to go smoothly. And for health. I seem to be catching a cold, and, while my shoulder and back had finally been feeling a bit better post accident, I think I've been tensing up while asleep the last few days, and I'm in quite a bit of pain again - not exactly ideal when the next few days are going to involve a lot of bending, lifting, and carrying.
And with that, I'm off to dive into the work "to do" list for the day, before heading home to it's own list of "to do's"!
This move is by far the most under control that any of them have been, and I'm still feeling that panicking. I'm hoping tonight will alleviate that.
Tonight is the big push. I told my roommate that she needed to help me with the packing of the kitchen, as, even though I'm the official owner of most of the stuff in there, she has used it as much or more than me. So tonight we'll pack up all but a very few kitchen essentials. I'll also pack up my bathroom "stuff" (that drawerfull of products that get used occasionally), and a few last things in my bedroom. I'm hoping that I can move one more load of stuff tomorrow evening after work, before the final move on Saturday, where all the furniture will go with me, and I'll then return to the apartment, and clean it out, before heading to Grandma's to begin the sorting and unpacking process.
I'm actually hoping to purge and pare down a bit as I pack the kitchen tonight too. One of my "green" or "healthier living" goals is to slowly switch all of my plastic food storage to glass. I'm going to put all of the plastic containers that aren't higher quality in the recycling, and keep only the ones I've regularly used. Since I'm moving in with grandma, and won't need most of my kitchen goods for quite a few months (with the exception of a few things that I know Grandma doesn't have), I'm going to pack thoughtfully, purge the things I really don't use (or at least set them aside in a box to go to a thrift shop post move).
So, that's tonight. Packing, sorting, purging. Hopefully a trip tomorrow night to move some more stuff, and then the big final push, and some cleaning on Saturday. Ideally, Saturday will only be a couple of trips at most, and will only take a couple of hours. I feel like that's actually an attainable goal this time around.
In the meantime, I'm coveting your prayers. For peace and the ability to rest (sleep was rather fleeting last night in the face of my overactive thoughts). For the move to go smoothly. And for health. I seem to be catching a cold, and, while my shoulder and back had finally been feeling a bit better post accident, I think I've been tensing up while asleep the last few days, and I'm in quite a bit of pain again - not exactly ideal when the next few days are going to involve a lot of bending, lifting, and carrying.
And with that, I'm off to dive into the work "to do" list for the day, before heading home to it's own list of "to do's"!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 196
Today's Daily 5:
- Our receptionist was back in the office. I had a much more productive day than yesterday.
- Gave a bit more furniture and other stuff away to a couple who found us via my roommate's kijiji ad for some of her stuff. The fun part is they're returning missionaries.
- Nachos for supper.
- Quiet evening - probably going to be the last one for a little while now, so it was nice to enjoy it.
- Someone at work had the phone line filters I was going to buy for use at Grandma's house and gave them to me, so I didn't have to buy them.
- Got some reading done.
- Started listening to my new audio book and was delighted to discover that the author is British. Nothing like listening to a well-written true story, read well, in a great accent!
- Have a seemingly workable plan to make the rest of the packing and moving go quickly and smoothly.
- Chocolate
- Great day for Canada in the olympics - A gold, two silvers, and a bronze - and all women at that!
What do you have to smile about?
Okay, as someone who writes daily lists of things that make me smile, I really couldn't resist the "What do you have to smile about quiz?" this morning. And the results are fairly accurate. I may not have a huge number of friends, but the ones I have I value immensely, and even just thinking about them often brings a smile.
You Have Your Friends to Smile About |
 You are truly blessed to have good people in your life. Your friends get you through the good times and the bad times. You can't help but smile whenever you're around your friends. Even thinking about them brings a grin to your face. You feel like everything will be okay in your life, as long as you have a support network. And you get a lot of happiness from supporting your friends in return. You believe that people truly do need each other. |
Limbo
I feel like I'm running out of things to say.
This week is kind of like limbo.
Three more nights sleeping in my current apartment. But most of the belongings that made it "home" are already gone. The living room is now very nearly empty after the sale of my couch and loveseat the other night, and our voices echo as we stand near the door, talking in the mornings as we don layers of clothing for the morning commute.
The person I dreamt about who was sick yesterday, is still sick.
I think my friends have welcomed their baby to the world, though I have only the unofficial "facebook" confirmation of that.
Last night I chatted online for a while with a very dear friend. Events in both of our lives mean that our formerly regular communications have been haphazard and spotty for the last several months. Emails most days, but rarely the real-time conversations that we'd consistently shared online or by phone. I don't think I'd realized how much I'd missed chatting with her about all of the stuff big and small, going on in both of our lives. It was so good to talk with her that I very nearly cried. And, we're planning to fit a phone conversation in, sometime in the near future. That something to look forward to is a beautiful thing right now, in the midst of this odd week of limbo.
Tonight there is a bit more to pack. And maybe a little bit of time catching up online with my favorite television shows. I won't need to watch olympic coverage tonight. It will be all about the hockey game. I have a very strong dislike of hockey. It's not the sort of dislike born of not understanding. I was raised around hockey and have a fairly solid understanding of the game. I simply don't like it. (Though, to be fair, I tend to always prefer individual sports over team ones anyway.)
I read this blog post last night, just before sleeping. I found her words to be profound, especially these: "In the midst of my pain and sadness in life, my sarcasm often brews. I usually don't mean what I say, but I say it because it feels good and the wit it takes to concoct something halfway funny and caustic distracts the part of my brain that feels pain. And because I'm sad, I usually don't feel guilty for biting satire." Yes. I am definitely that person too.
This morning I'm just grateful that our receptionist is back in the office. I wasn't relishing the thought of another scattered day like yesterday.
And with that, I'm off to dive into a long list of "to do's".
This week is kind of like limbo.
Three more nights sleeping in my current apartment. But most of the belongings that made it "home" are already gone. The living room is now very nearly empty after the sale of my couch and loveseat the other night, and our voices echo as we stand near the door, talking in the mornings as we don layers of clothing for the morning commute.
The person I dreamt about who was sick yesterday, is still sick.
I think my friends have welcomed their baby to the world, though I have only the unofficial "facebook" confirmation of that.
Last night I chatted online for a while with a very dear friend. Events in both of our lives mean that our formerly regular communications have been haphazard and spotty for the last several months. Emails most days, but rarely the real-time conversations that we'd consistently shared online or by phone. I don't think I'd realized how much I'd missed chatting with her about all of the stuff big and small, going on in both of our lives. It was so good to talk with her that I very nearly cried. And, we're planning to fit a phone conversation in, sometime in the near future. That something to look forward to is a beautiful thing right now, in the midst of this odd week of limbo.
Tonight there is a bit more to pack. And maybe a little bit of time catching up online with my favorite television shows. I won't need to watch olympic coverage tonight. It will be all about the hockey game. I have a very strong dislike of hockey. It's not the sort of dislike born of not understanding. I was raised around hockey and have a fairly solid understanding of the game. I simply don't like it. (Though, to be fair, I tend to always prefer individual sports over team ones anyway.)
I read this blog post last night, just before sleeping. I found her words to be profound, especially these: "In the midst of my pain and sadness in life, my sarcasm often brews. I usually don't mean what I say, but I say it because it feels good and the wit it takes to concoct something halfway funny and caustic distracts the part of my brain that feels pain. And because I'm sad, I usually don't feel guilty for biting satire." Yes. I am definitely that person too.
This morning I'm just grateful that our receptionist is back in the office. I wasn't relishing the thought of another scattered day like yesterday.
And with that, I'm off to dive into a long list of "to do's".
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 195
Today's Daily 5:
- Chatting online with a very dear friend tonight, on her birthday, the first time in a while that we've managed to connect for more than a very few minutes, or by email.
- The transit connections were incredibly lucky running errands after work tonight, and it didn't take nearly as long as I thought it might.
- One of my errands was a trip to the library. I have three new audio books to start listening to on my work commutes (especially nice since next week after the move the round trip commute is going to be about 3 hours). I loaded the first one onto my ipod tonight, and I'm excited to start listening to it. It's about a father who connects with his autistic son through horseback riding, and some sort of crazy traveling adventure in Mongolia also involving horseback riding. A true story, and so up my alley, involving mental health, family relationships, animals, and travel!
- I made perogies for supper. Because of my unexpected extra trip to a the grocery store last night, I was in the grocery store that carries the most genuine perogies I've had, so I bought a bag and cooked them for supper tonight and lunch tomorrow. It's been ages since I've eaten them, and they were great!
- Lots of times of deep prayer through what was a bit of an odd day.
- Listened to an interview with Sara Miles on my ipod on the way home from work tonight.
- Managed to do errands via transit and still get home before dark - that means the days are getting longer and spring must be on it's way.
- Was dreaming of travel again this morning. High on the might actually happen this year list - the BC coast, maybe Ontario again, and California. (High on the I'm still dreaming and will make it happen sometime in the future list - New Zealand, Peru, Rome, and maybe even China and/or Africa.)
- Contemplating getting an iphone. The idea of being able to surf the web while on transit - especially with my commute about to get so long - is a very appealing one to me.
- Dad stopped by the office this morning and picked up a few boxes I'd saved for packing and moving. I can definitely use them, but there was no way I was carrying them home on the train. Since he was in the area, I asked if he could stop by, and he was willing. Grateful for family who are willing to help out with the smaller details.
Day Interrupted
There are several people out of the office sick today. Including our receptionist.
That means the phone calls and client drop-ins, and deliveries are MY problem today.
Day interrupted.
I'm getting NOTHING done because I'm being interrupted by a phone call every other minute.
Plus, with several others out, it's hard to track down someone to actually put the calls through to.
It hasn't been that long since I was the receptionist, but answering the phones and tracking down someone to take the calls was the part of my job that I liked the least then, too.
It is feeling like an incredibly unproductive day.
But hey, it's nearly lunch time, and someone else will answer for an hour or so while I eat, and then there's less than half of the day remaining!
That means the phone calls and client drop-ins, and deliveries are MY problem today.
Day interrupted.
I'm getting NOTHING done because I'm being interrupted by a phone call every other minute.
Plus, with several others out, it's hard to track down someone to actually put the calls through to.
It hasn't been that long since I was the receptionist, but answering the phones and tracking down someone to take the calls was the part of my job that I liked the least then, too.
It is feeling like an incredibly unproductive day.
But hey, it's nearly lunch time, and someone else will answer for an hour or so while I eat, and then there's less than half of the day remaining!
Strange Days, Redux
The dream I wrote about yesterday morning is still having odd effects, as other bits and pieces of what I saw while I was sleeping play out in my waking reality.
Someone I saw in the dream, who seemed quite ill, leaving me concerned and praying as I woke, is in fact, quite ill today.
It's a bit strange, this playing out of my dreams in waking moments.
I'm waiting for news of the friend who was in labor yesterday, waiting with her husband, and working to welcome their first child into the world.
Another very dear friend is celebrating her birthday today, and I'm thinking of her and praying.
And so today I find myself again in that odd, deeply prayerful place. Praying for Haiti, for the person who is ill, for my friends and their child, for my dear friend as she begins another year of life. And for so many other things on my heart.
Strange days indeed.
Someone I saw in the dream, who seemed quite ill, leaving me concerned and praying as I woke, is in fact, quite ill today.
It's a bit strange, this playing out of my dreams in waking moments.
I'm waiting for news of the friend who was in labor yesterday, waiting with her husband, and working to welcome their first child into the world.
Another very dear friend is celebrating her birthday today, and I'm thinking of her and praying.
And so today I find myself again in that odd, deeply prayerful place. Praying for Haiti, for the person who is ill, for my friends and their child, for my dear friend as she begins another year of life. And for so many other things on my heart.
Strange days indeed.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 194
Today's Daily 5:
- Got WAY more than the prescribed 20 minutes of light excercise today. This lack of a car is ensuring that I get the 20 minutes every week day traipsing to and from home and work via walking and various transit vehicles. Today however, I got home from work, changed clothes, settled in to make dinner, and discovered that the chicken I'd planned to cook was rancid. Since I'm not presently the owner of a car, that necessitated another 15 minute walk to the closest grocery store (a fairly expensive high-end, mostly organic shop that I love but never shop at because of price) and another 15 minute walk home after that.
- Sold my couch and loveseat tonight. That was it's own adventure! The girl I expected to sell them to showed up and realized she couldn't fit both in the truck she'd brought. She tried to bargain with me and convince me to sell her only 1 piece. Umm.... No. I phoned another person who had called me about them back, and within an hour, both pieces were gone. Now just waiting and dreaming, and figuring out just exactly what I want, and collecting the money to afford it. At the moment I think I'm leaning towards a double papasan chair/loveseat from Pier 1 Imports. I have a thing for comfy furniture that you just sort of sink into and recline in. I think it's because I'm so short that my feet have never reached the ground on any piece of furniture, so I'm always sitting curled up, or semi prone anyway.
- The dinner I cooked, despite some hitches in ingredients (not only the chicken, but the cupboards are getting a little bare as we attempt to minimize what I have to move) turned out quite well.
- Loved watching Virtue and Moir win the gold medal in the ice dance tonight. I'm not excessively patriotic, but there's something about hearing that anthem play and seeing the smiles on the athletes faces that gets me every time.
- Tomorrow will be exactly 4 months until the U2 concert I have tickets to!
Article on the Most Recent Haiti Quake
I mentioned this morning that I'd heard via email that there had been another earthquake in Haiti very early this morning. News article on the quake, magnitude 4.7, here.
Three from Henri on Relationships and Possessiveness
Three challenging thoughts from Henri Nouwen that were waiting for me today when I got back to the office.
The Nonpossessive Life
To be able to enjoy fully the many good things the world has to offer, we must be detached from them. To be detached does not mean to be indifferent or uninterested. It means to be nonpossessive. Life is a gift to be grateful for and not a property to cling to.
A nonpossessive life is a free life. But such freedom is only possible when we have a deep sense of belonging. To whom then do we belong? We belong to God, and the God to whom we belong has sent us into the world to proclaim in his Name that all of creation is created in and by love and calls us to gratitude and joy. That is what the "detached" life is all about. It is a life in which we are free to offer praise and thanksgiving.
True Intimacy
Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.
It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.
The Balance Between Closeness and Distance
Intimacy between people requires closeness as well as distance. It is like dancing. Sometimes we are very close, touching each other or holding each other; sometimes we move away from each other and let the space between us become an area where we can freely move.
To keep the right balance between closeness and distance requires hard work, especially since the needs of the partners may be quite different at a given moment. One might desire closeness while the other wants distance. One might want to be held while the other looks for independence. A perfect balance seldom occurs, but the honest and open search for that balance can give birth to a beautiful dance, worthy to behold.
The Nonpossessive Life
To be able to enjoy fully the many good things the world has to offer, we must be detached from them. To be detached does not mean to be indifferent or uninterested. It means to be nonpossessive. Life is a gift to be grateful for and not a property to cling to.
A nonpossessive life is a free life. But such freedom is only possible when we have a deep sense of belonging. To whom then do we belong? We belong to God, and the God to whom we belong has sent us into the world to proclaim in his Name that all of creation is created in and by love and calls us to gratitude and joy. That is what the "detached" life is all about. It is a life in which we are free to offer praise and thanksgiving.
True Intimacy
Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.
It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.
The Balance Between Closeness and Distance
Intimacy between people requires closeness as well as distance. It is like dancing. Sometimes we are very close, touching each other or holding each other; sometimes we move away from each other and let the space between us become an area where we can freely move.
To keep the right balance between closeness and distance requires hard work, especially since the needs of the partners may be quite different at a given moment. One might desire closeness while the other wants distance. One might want to be held while the other looks for independence. A perfect balance seldom occurs, but the honest and open search for that balance can give birth to a beautiful dance, worthy to behold.
Strange Days
I'm praying oddly and deeply this morning.
I woke from an intense dream. Amongst other things, in the dream I was in Haiti, walking up a hill, but something about the skies and the clouds was foreboding, and I turned back. There were other themes too, and as I woke in the dark I found myself praying quietly for each of things that the dream touched. And wondering, "what happened or will happen in Haiti today?"
Then I rolled over, roused myself and checked my email. The first email I read was from someone on the ground in Haiti. There was another earthquake this morning, of 4.7 magnitude. His brief email is all the information I had.
It was a sort of stunning way to begin the day, dreaming so specifically, wondering and praying, and then reading that news.
A few years ago I dreamt intensely of China, and woke to the news there of a devestating earthquake.
It's such an odd thing, to pray and listen that way, with my dreams. I don't understand it, and I'm not certain I'll ever grow used to it. And yet, I'm glad in a way to pray deeply.
A short time ago I got an email from another friend. She went into labor early this morning, and she and her husband will welcome their first child to the world sometime soon.
And so I find myself praying, for each of the themes and people and places that my dream this morning touched, many of which have now faded into that invisible space between sleep and waking. I'm praying for my friends as they welcome new life into the world. And I'm praying for each of the people and concerns with whom I will come in contact today.
Strange days indeed.
I woke from an intense dream. Amongst other things, in the dream I was in Haiti, walking up a hill, but something about the skies and the clouds was foreboding, and I turned back. There were other themes too, and as I woke in the dark I found myself praying quietly for each of things that the dream touched. And wondering, "what happened or will happen in Haiti today?"
Then I rolled over, roused myself and checked my email. The first email I read was from someone on the ground in Haiti. There was another earthquake this morning, of 4.7 magnitude. His brief email is all the information I had.
It was a sort of stunning way to begin the day, dreaming so specifically, wondering and praying, and then reading that news.
A few years ago I dreamt intensely of China, and woke to the news there of a devestating earthquake.
It's such an odd thing, to pray and listen that way, with my dreams. I don't understand it, and I'm not certain I'll ever grow used to it. And yet, I'm glad in a way to pray deeply.
A short time ago I got an email from another friend. She went into labor early this morning, and she and her husband will welcome their first child to the world sometime soon.
And so I find myself praying, for each of the themes and people and places that my dream this morning touched, many of which have now faded into that invisible space between sleep and waking. I'm praying for my friends as they welcome new life into the world. And I'm praying for each of the people and concerns with whom I will come in contact today.
Strange days indeed.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 193
Today's Daily 5:
- Getting some interest in the couch and loveseat that I'm selling on kijiji. However, one of the responses was laughable - I'm selling both pieces for a total of $20, and the ad clearly says that I live in Calgary. I received an email today wondering if the furniture was still available, and would I be able to deliver it to a small town about an hour and a half away. Umm... No. I won't be making a three hour round trip to deliver furniture that I'm only charging a total of $20 for. The selling price would barely cover the cost of the trip, never mind my time!
- Baked another new recipe today - the second one for this month. Didn't think I was going to fit two in this month with the busyness of moving, but I did, and that left me with a great feeling of satisfaction. Plus, the Chocolate Chip Pecan Blondies that I made taste pretty good too.
- Got a refund without question this morning for the water bottle I purchased in January that was recalled because of breakage issues. Since I returned one for that issue before it became a common one, and had another one break since, I was delighted to get a refund without any trouble.
- Did some research into smart phones today while I was at the mall. I'm thinking that my next phone is going to be an iphone. Any opinions out there? Or thoughts on how large a data plan I'd be likely to need?
- Got caught up on my Lenten readings.
- Painted my fingernails and toenails
- Did some filing I've been ignoring (needed to finally do it before the move so that stuff didn't get lost because there were some pretty important papers in the pile - stuff I'll need to file my taxes soon.)
- Read a couple more chapters in the book I'm working on for reviewing herre.
- lounged and watched olympics while working on some of the aforementioned tasks
- Had a great snack lunch today - love hummus and laughing cow cheese and blueberries and melba toast. So tasty and simple.
Associations
I'm somewhat amused by the way the human mind creates seemingly random associations.
I'm sitting here, eating my favorite kind of weekend lunch - hummus, soft spreadable cheese, melba toast crackers for the hummus and cheese, and fresh fruit (blueberries today).
As I was eating the cheese, I suddenly found myself thinking about Africa.
It took me a second to realize why.
Growing up, my dad always talked about eating this particular brand of cheese (called "The Laughing Cow" in English) while he was in Africa. Somewhere along the way, this cheese became associated with Africa in my head, and with travel there, and all the confused thoughts I have on that subject.
And so I'm sitting here, eating my simple lunch (and quite enjoying it), and thinking about the potential of travel to Africa, and laughing at the fact that cheese is what led to these thoughts.
I'm sitting here, eating my favorite kind of weekend lunch - hummus, soft spreadable cheese, melba toast crackers for the hummus and cheese, and fresh fruit (blueberries today).
As I was eating the cheese, I suddenly found myself thinking about Africa.
It took me a second to realize why.
Growing up, my dad always talked about eating this particular brand of cheese (called "The Laughing Cow" in English) while he was in Africa. Somewhere along the way, this cheese became associated with Africa in my head, and with travel there, and all the confused thoughts I have on that subject.
And so I'm sitting here, eating my simple lunch (and quite enjoying it), and thinking about the potential of travel to Africa, and laughing at the fact that cheese is what led to these thoughts.
Planning a Day
It's Sunday morning, and I'm in an odd mood.
Reflecting on all of the changes coming.
Today, I'm planning to take it slow, with the exception of one trip out to do a few errands at the mall.
I need to take advantage of a twice yearly sale on my skin care line of choice.
I'm going to return a water bottle I purchased that has been recalled.
Maybe look at books for a little while (I have a coupon I can use!)
And then I'm coming home.
I have some reading and writing to catch up on.
Some pondering and praying to do.
I'm in a weird mood, and I need to create some quiet space.
Reflecting on all of the changes coming.
Today, I'm planning to take it slow, with the exception of one trip out to do a few errands at the mall.
I need to take advantage of a twice yearly sale on my skin care line of choice.
I'm going to return a water bottle I purchased that has been recalled.
Maybe look at books for a little while (I have a coupon I can use!)
And then I'm coming home.
I have some reading and writing to catch up on.
Some pondering and praying to do.
I'm in a weird mood, and I need to create some quiet space.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 192
Today's Daily 5:
- Got a big load of stuff (including all my books) moved to Grandma's house this morning thanks to help from my dad.
- Choosing to be a bit honest as I continue to explore how I'm feeling about this transition of moving
- Cooked dinner for mom, dad, T & L, and my aunt tonight. It's fun to cook for others, and it's nice when the meal wins rave reviews.
- Got a treatment from mom and my aunt - hopefully that'll help with the soreness a bit.
- First iced passion tea lemonade from starbucks since they switched to whole leaf tea. I tried the new version of hot passion tea a while back and definitely didn't like it - plus the price went up quite a bit. But, I was very pleasantly surprised today to discover that the iced passion tea lemonade still tastes the same!
- Laughed with my dad as I discovered the the starbucks abbreviation for my aforementioned drink of choice, scribbled on the cup in sharpie is "PTL" - that made me laugh. Such a bad, inside, "christiany" joke, but it did make me smile.
- Watched the end of the Canadian men's curling match with Great Britain tonight - love that Canada is still undefeated. Plus, I really like watching curling.
- Also saw the medal ceremony for the Canadian who won gold last night in the skeleton. I'm so not very patriotic at all, but every time I see a Canadian athlete on that podium, excited to receive that medal, and hear our anthem play, I totally want to cry.
- Enjoyed an Almond Joy bar tonight. I've been savoring some that were sent to me as a gift, and tonight it hit the spot just perfectly. Thanks LP/CA!
- Got caught up on the Lenten reading I'd fallen a bit behind on.
Late Afternoon
It's late afternoon and I'm sitting at my parent's house.
Turns out I really didn't do much of the work I'd hoped to do this afternoon. Mostly I lounged, feeling slightly grumpy about the fact that my whole body hurts at the moment.
Also feeling a little sorry for myself.
I really need to write a post here about the upcoming move. It would make my current mess of emotions so much clearer.
Instead of that, though, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
Berating myself just slightly because I just realized that only a few days into Lent I'm already behind on the Lenten readings I'm doing this year, because I'm so out of the habit of making that daily quiet that last night, after packing all those books, I simply forgot to do the readings. And it's not like I'm doing much for Lent. Maybe I'm even feeling sorry for the loss of the self that could fast. Is it possible that I miss that starvation diet I existed on for so long?
Time to snap out of it. I need to start cooking. (I'm making a recipe for mom and dad and company that was the fourth new recipe I've tried so far this year - couscous stuffed peppers.)
So, I'm mentally formulating the beginnings of today's "daily 5" and getting up off the couch, ignoring my achy muscles, and going to make food for people who I know will appreciate it.
Turns out I really didn't do much of the work I'd hoped to do this afternoon. Mostly I lounged, feeling slightly grumpy about the fact that my whole body hurts at the moment.
Also feeling a little sorry for myself.
I really need to write a post here about the upcoming move. It would make my current mess of emotions so much clearer.
Instead of that, though, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
Berating myself just slightly because I just realized that only a few days into Lent I'm already behind on the Lenten readings I'm doing this year, because I'm so out of the habit of making that daily quiet that last night, after packing all those books, I simply forgot to do the readings. And it's not like I'm doing much for Lent. Maybe I'm even feeling sorry for the loss of the self that could fast. Is it possible that I miss that starvation diet I existed on for so long?
Time to snap out of it. I need to start cooking. (I'm making a recipe for mom and dad and company that was the fourth new recipe I've tried so far this year - couscous stuffed peppers.)
So, I'm mentally formulating the beginnings of today's "daily 5" and getting up off the couch, ignoring my achy muscles, and going to make food for people who I know will appreciate it.
Moving Again
I managed to pack almost all of my books last night. The only ones left unpacked are the ones I'll be using in the next week or so.
My dad is coming in about 45 minutes to help me move another large load to Grandma's house.
Then I'll be taking my laptop to my parent's house, and working on a bunch of stuff that needs to be accomplished there, while watching olympics today on their big screen television.
And then they're cashing in on part of their Christmas gift, and I'm making dinner there tonight.
So today is about moving again, and all the sundry details of life.
I'll be glad for a day spent crashed on the couch working quietly (post moving of course). My body is still really sore. It'll be nice to sit and rest a little.
My dad is coming in about 45 minutes to help me move another large load to Grandma's house.
Then I'll be taking my laptop to my parent's house, and working on a bunch of stuff that needs to be accomplished there, while watching olympics today on their big screen television.
And then they're cashing in on part of their Christmas gift, and I'm making dinner there tonight.
So today is about moving again, and all the sundry details of life.
I'll be glad for a day spent crashed on the couch working quietly (post moving of course). My body is still really sore. It'll be nice to sit and rest a little.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 191
Today's Daily 5:
- Jeans at work today
- Subway for lunch with a coworker
- Got pretty much all of my books boxed and ready to move tomorrow
- Clean sheets and pajamas tonight
- Feeling like I'm actually making headway with this move
- Watching the Olympics while I packed and worked on my "to do" list for the evening
- So nice after boxing the books to settle in to a bowl of left-over pasta
- Had the house to myself tonight
- 191 days of daily 5 lists
- It's the weekend!
Feeling Slightly Vindicated
This article in the Calgary Herald this morning has left me feeling somewhat vindicated. I've been having billing issues with Enmax for 8 months now, have called them on a monthly basis, and there is still no resolution. Twice now, they've submitted the resolution request, but submitted it with the wrong information, leading nowhere. There's nothing like good customer service! Let's just say that the next time I move (I cancelled my utilities for this move, since I won't need them at Grandma's) I won't be setting up my utility account with Enmax.
The Table - Henri Nouwen
Earlier this week I shared a few thoughts from Henri Nouwen on the significance of meals, and gathering around a table together. Here are a few more:
The Barometer of Our Lives
Although the table is a place for intimacy, we all know how easily it can become a place of distance, hostility, and even hatred. Precisely because the table is meant to be an intimate place, it easily becomes the place we experience the absence of intimacy. The table reveals the tensions among us. When husband and wife don't talk to each other, when a child refuses to eat, when brothers and sisters bicker, when there are tense silences, then the table becomes hell, the place we least want to be.
The table is the barometer of family and community life. Let's do everything possible to make the table the place to celebrate intimacy.
Creating Beautiful Memories
What happens during meals shapes a large part of our memories. As we grow older we forget many things, but we mostly remember the Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners in our families. We remember them with joy and gratitude or with sadness and anger. They remind us of the peace that existed in our homes or the conflicts that never seemed to get resolved. These special moments around the table stand out as vivid reminders of the quality of our lives together.
Today fast-food services and TV dinners have made common meals less and less central. But what will there be to remember when we no longer come together around the table to share a meal? Maybe we will have fewer painful memories, but will we have any joyful ones? Can we make the table a hospitable place, inviting us to kindness, gentleness, joy, and peace and creating beautiful memories?
The Barometer of Our Lives
Although the table is a place for intimacy, we all know how easily it can become a place of distance, hostility, and even hatred. Precisely because the table is meant to be an intimate place, it easily becomes the place we experience the absence of intimacy. The table reveals the tensions among us. When husband and wife don't talk to each other, when a child refuses to eat, when brothers and sisters bicker, when there are tense silences, then the table becomes hell, the place we least want to be.
The table is the barometer of family and community life. Let's do everything possible to make the table the place to celebrate intimacy.
Creating Beautiful Memories
What happens during meals shapes a large part of our memories. As we grow older we forget many things, but we mostly remember the Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners in our families. We remember them with joy and gratitude or with sadness and anger. They remind us of the peace that existed in our homes or the conflicts that never seemed to get resolved. These special moments around the table stand out as vivid reminders of the quality of our lives together.
Today fast-food services and TV dinners have made common meals less and less central. But what will there be to remember when we no longer come together around the table to share a meal? Maybe we will have fewer painful memories, but will we have any joyful ones? Can we make the table a hospitable place, inviting us to kindness, gentleness, joy, and peace and creating beautiful memories?
Almost Weekend
House church went late last night, and when you don't have a vehicle, it means you stay until the people who drove you are also leaving. Which means I got home after 11. And that I then dealt with the usual sleep issues.
It was a bit of a rough night again.
Thankfully today will be a pretty laid back day at work.
But I'll be busy tonight.
Tonight is the night for packing my books, and my "altar spaces". I own probably somewhere around 2000 books. The altar spaces are simply prayerful reminders, scattered around my bedroom. With all of those things packed, the transition will truly become real. For the next week I'll live in a relatively empty space. It's a little bit crazy to consider, really.
I'm just not entirely certain yet how to process the fact that a week from tomorrow I'll be vacating the apartment that I've loved, in the neighborhood that I've loved, with the roommate I've loved, and moving into my Grandma's basement. It's not exactly what one would consider an "upwardly mobile" relocation. Not that I've ever been all that concerned with being upwardly mobile, but I guess some part of me is struggling with that move. With the fact that, at nearly 27 years of age, for at least the next six months, when asked where I live, the answer will be, "with my Grandma".
I need to write out some thoughts on this move. I have lots to share.
But for the moment, I'm thinking about tonight. About packing my books, and all those precious little things that truly make my bedroom a prayerful space. That make it home. I'm thinking about the next week lived in transition. I'm wondering how to make the new space cozy. I'm considering details like whether or not I need to recruit a few more people to help with the move, how I need to list my couch and loveseat on kijiji, the fact that I definitely need some new audiobooks since my commute is about to become even longer, whether I can work in moving a few more loads of things to Grandma's during the evenings next week, the process of packing our kitchen, and cleaning the apartment, and then the exhale, of doing the process in reverse, unpacking, and creating peace and space and home again.
This is the fourth time I've moved in 3 and a half years. The packing isn't particularly intimidating anymore, but I'm realizing that sometime late next week it will hit me that I've again made a major transition. So I'm waiting for that to sink in, and handling preparations in the meantime.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 190
Today's Daily 5:
- Wore new earrings to work today.
- Love the feeling of my hair the day after I get it cut, when it's still flat-ironed and pretty.
- Got a ride to house church tonight and was able to be with friends.
- My friend Renee Altson is making a list of 5 things she's grateful for as a Lenten practice. I love the idea of this daily list being a part of a Lenten journey. Check out her first list here, and go back often - her blog is great! (And, as a side note, if you haven't read her book, you need to. I read it for the first time at a time in my life when I was absolutely convinced that I was maybe the only person in the world who was trying to follow Jesus but was struggling with some pretty huge issues, including mental health stuff. Renee's book helped me to see that I wasn't alone. It was probably at least 5 years ago that I read it for the first time, and I've re-read it at least once a year since. It is one of maybe two or three books that I will list if asked what books besides the Bible have profoundly shaped my faith journey over the last number of years.)
- Thankful for some moments of very early morning prayer, and song lyrics playing through my thoughts today.
The Butterfly Quiz
I thought this one was relatively accurate.
You Are Mellow Yet Energetic |
 Most of the time you are a cool cucumber, but occasionally you can get extremely hyper. You are indifferent to most things, but a few ideas really inspire you. And when you're inspired, you totally take off. You rest up most of the time, saving your energy for what truly matters to you. You are highly selective. Some people may think you're moody or temperamental, but they don't understand what really makes you passionate. |
Story on Haiti
An article by a phd anthropology student who was in Haiti when the earthquake happened, and was briefly trapped. A proufound read.
Thursday Morning
My thoughts are kind of scattered this morning.
Last night was a slightly more peaceful sleep than I've been having, but I still woke at around 4 am, praying and wondering.
My neck, shoulders, and back are still very slow in healing, and as each week goes on, and I get further from the weekend of rest that preceded it, the pain gets stronger. It's pretty bad today.
Office email is down, so I'm sitting here, writing a blog post, before heading into my day.
House church tonight. Looking forward to being with friends and talking about Jesus.
Last night was a slightly more peaceful sleep than I've been having, but I still woke at around 4 am, praying and wondering.
My neck, shoulders, and back are still very slow in healing, and as each week goes on, and I get further from the weekend of rest that preceded it, the pain gets stronger. It's pretty bad today.
Office email is down, so I'm sitting here, writing a blog post, before heading into my day.
House church tonight. Looking forward to being with friends and talking about Jesus.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 189
Today's Daily 5:
- Ash Wednesday, and all that entails.
- listened to some great new music
- the snow falling was beautiful (even if walking in it wasn't quite so lovely)
- laughing and chatting with my hairdresser
- love having my hair cut and styled again - I haven't been able to lift my arm/shoulder long enough to style it myself since the accident, so it's great to have it done again.
- Bourbon Street Grill for supper
- Bought a top, a scarf, two pairs of earrings, and a necklace at my favorite shop on clearance for a grand total of $23.
- Got a couple of chapters read in the book I'm working on currently
- Found new mittens for $2, also on clearance
- already booked my next hair appointment. love that I don't have to remember late next month to call, and then just hope to get in. It's booked, and next time we're going to do a bunch of highlights again too - just in time for the wedding!
Henri on Ash Wednesday
A thought from Henri Nouwen on Ash Wednesday, excerpted from "The Road to Daybreak."
A Lenten Prayer
The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.
I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.
I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.
Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.
Amen.
A Lenten Prayer
The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.
I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.
I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.
Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.
Amen.
Other's Thoughts on Lent
Ash Wednesday
And so Lent begins again.
It's a season I love and hate sort of equally.
For me it tends to be one of the deepest seasons of the liturgical year. The most significant.
It also tends to be one of the most painful.
It feels odd to wake this morning and not be fasting.
I've always fasted from something during Lent.
This year is different, though.
303 days ago I rather forcefully came face to face with the fact that the immense stresses and challenges of my life had essentially led to the development of an eating disorder. I'd lost around 25 pounds, rarely ate more than one meal and a few snacks a day, and it wasn't unusual for the nausea I was experiencing to get out of control, and for me to go several days without eating at all.
So, I started counting, and tracking. For 303 days I've been faithful in taking a large number of supplements to restore the things I'd depleted in my body. And for 303 days, I've eaten three consistent meals a day.
I would normally do a juice fast at least once a week during Lent.
That's not an option this year.
I need to eat three times a day to make it possible to take the supplements that manage my energy levels and anxiety issues.
I thought about giving up chocolate, and I may yet do something along those lines. But this year as I prayed through that thought, the feeling that came was that I would be "fasting" simply for the sake of doing something, rather than because I'd been led to it.
I talked earlier this week about the in-between. I'm trying conciously not to rush that process. Not to jump to the next thing, even when it is clearly in sight, but to be patient in the waiting.
It's not easy.
And so Lent begins, and I am waiting, listening, praying.
It's a season I love and hate sort of equally.
For me it tends to be one of the deepest seasons of the liturgical year. The most significant.
It also tends to be one of the most painful.
It feels odd to wake this morning and not be fasting.
I've always fasted from something during Lent.
This year is different, though.
303 days ago I rather forcefully came face to face with the fact that the immense stresses and challenges of my life had essentially led to the development of an eating disorder. I'd lost around 25 pounds, rarely ate more than one meal and a few snacks a day, and it wasn't unusual for the nausea I was experiencing to get out of control, and for me to go several days without eating at all.
So, I started counting, and tracking. For 303 days I've been faithful in taking a large number of supplements to restore the things I'd depleted in my body. And for 303 days, I've eaten three consistent meals a day.
I would normally do a juice fast at least once a week during Lent.
That's not an option this year.
I need to eat three times a day to make it possible to take the supplements that manage my energy levels and anxiety issues.
I thought about giving up chocolate, and I may yet do something along those lines. But this year as I prayed through that thought, the feeling that came was that I would be "fasting" simply for the sake of doing something, rather than because I'd been led to it.
I talked earlier this week about the in-between. I'm trying conciously not to rush that process. Not to jump to the next thing, even when it is clearly in sight, but to be patient in the waiting.
It's not easy.
And so Lent begins, and I am waiting, listening, praying.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 188
Today's Daily 5:
- Passed the 300 day mark a couple days back for some food and health related goals. 300 days straight of eating three meals a day. That's pretty significant considering it had almost never happened in the previous two years, and that many of those days, I was so ill from stress that one meal was a big accomplishment.
- Mom and Dad took J., my aunt from Wisconsin who's in town right now, my roommate L, and I out for Mexican food tonight. I really like Mexican food. So much so that I ate 5 of the 6 little tacos on my plate. And then I brought the leftovers home for lunch tomorrow. Is it weird that I really enjoy refried beans? We grew up eating homemade Mexican, and I've always enjoyed it, so it's a treat when we get to go to this particularly good, relatively authentic local Mexican restaurant and really enjoy a meal.
- Laughing with J and L as J drove us home. Though J and I are about as opposite as siblings could be, I'm growing to really appreciate a lot of things about him over the last while, and I consider that a blessing.
- Mom and Dad brought me a bunch of flyers and newspaper that I can use for packing all the breakable stuff around my bedroom. Grateful for family that helps with stuff like that.
- In bed by a decent time. Going to watch a little bit of olympic curling online, and then head for sleep. (I may hate hockey, but I really enjoy watching curling - that must qualify me as truly Canadian, right???)
Disconcerting
On the list of things I'm finding disconcerting lately:
Dreaming about someone with whom I have a relatively distant relationship, and very little contact with, and then having them pop randomly up in my facebook newsfeed later that same day.
It's happened twice recently. So very odd.
Dreaming about someone with whom I have a relatively distant relationship, and very little contact with, and then having them pop randomly up in my facebook newsfeed later that same day.
It's happened twice recently. So very odd.
Great Stuff from Henri
A few more quality tid-bits from Henri Nouwen have collected in my inbox again, and I thought I'd take the chance to share them with you today.
Returning to God's Ever-Present Love
We often confuse unconditional love with unconditional approval. God loves us without conditions but does not approve of every human behavior. God doesn't approve of betrayal, violence, hatred, suspicion, and all other expressions of evil, because they all contradict the love God wants to instill in the human heart. Evil is the absence of God's love. Evil does not belong to God.
God's unconditional love means that God continues to love us even when we say or think evil things. God continues to wait for us as a loving parent waits for the return of a lost child. It is important for us to hold on to the truth that God never gives up loving us even when God is saddened by what we do. That truth will help us to return to God's ever-present love.
Celebrating Being Alive
Birthdays are so important. On our birthdays we celebrate being alive. On our birthdays people can say to us, "Thank you for being!" Birthday presents are signs of our families' and friends' joy that we are part of their lives. Little children often look forward to their birthdays for months. Their birthdays are their big days, when they are the center of attention and all their friends come to celebrate.
We should never forget our birthdays or the birthdays of those who are close to us. Birthdays keep us childlike. They remind us that what is important is not what we do or accomplish, not what we have or who we know, but that we are, here and now. On birthdays let us be grateful for the gift of life.
Seeing the Beauty and Goodness in Front of Us
We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide. There are trees and flowers to enjoy, paintings and sculptures to admire; most of all there are people who smile, play, and show kindness and gentleness. They are all around us, to be recognized as free gifts to receive in gratitude.
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.
The Meal That Makes Us Family and Friends
We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another's plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body.
That is why it is so important to "set" the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, "This is a very special time for us, let's enjoy it!"
The Intimacy of the Table
The table is one of the most intimate places in our lives. It is there that we give ourselves to one another. When we say, "Take some more, let me serve you another plate, let me pour you another glass, don't be shy, enjoy it," we say a lot more than our words express. We invite our friends to become part of our lives. We want them to be nurtured by the same food and drink that nurture us. We desire communion. That is why a refusal to eat and drink what a host offers is so offensive. It feels like a rejection of an invitation to intimacy.
Strange as it may sound, the table is the place where we want to become food for one another. Every breakfast, lunch, or dinner can become a time of growing communion with one another.
Returning to God's Ever-Present Love
We often confuse unconditional love with unconditional approval. God loves us without conditions but does not approve of every human behavior. God doesn't approve of betrayal, violence, hatred, suspicion, and all other expressions of evil, because they all contradict the love God wants to instill in the human heart. Evil is the absence of God's love. Evil does not belong to God.
God's unconditional love means that God continues to love us even when we say or think evil things. God continues to wait for us as a loving parent waits for the return of a lost child. It is important for us to hold on to the truth that God never gives up loving us even when God is saddened by what we do. That truth will help us to return to God's ever-present love.
Celebrating Being Alive
Birthdays are so important. On our birthdays we celebrate being alive. On our birthdays people can say to us, "Thank you for being!" Birthday presents are signs of our families' and friends' joy that we are part of their lives. Little children often look forward to their birthdays for months. Their birthdays are their big days, when they are the center of attention and all their friends come to celebrate.
We should never forget our birthdays or the birthdays of those who are close to us. Birthdays keep us childlike. They remind us that what is important is not what we do or accomplish, not what we have or who we know, but that we are, here and now. On birthdays let us be grateful for the gift of life.
Seeing the Beauty and Goodness in Front of Us
We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide. There are trees and flowers to enjoy, paintings and sculptures to admire; most of all there are people who smile, play, and show kindness and gentleness. They are all around us, to be recognized as free gifts to receive in gratitude.
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.
The Meal That Makes Us Family and Friends
We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another's plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body.
That is why it is so important to "set" the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, "This is a very special time for us, let's enjoy it!"
The Intimacy of the Table
The table is one of the most intimate places in our lives. It is there that we give ourselves to one another. When we say, "Take some more, let me serve you another plate, let me pour you another glass, don't be shy, enjoy it," we say a lot more than our words express. We invite our friends to become part of our lives. We want them to be nurtured by the same food and drink that nurture us. We desire communion. That is why a refusal to eat and drink what a host offers is so offensive. It feels like a rejection of an invitation to intimacy.
Strange as it may sound, the table is the place where we want to become food for one another. Every breakfast, lunch, or dinner can become a time of growing communion with one another.
Worth Reading
A number of blog posts worth checking out today:
Donald Miller's latest post "Following God and Farming" is here.
Today's cartoon at the Naked Pastor hit close to home. I've definitely felt like that at times.
Anne Jackson's last post from Haiti is here.
Donald Miller's latest post "Following God and Farming" is here.
Today's cartoon at the Naked Pastor hit close to home. I've definitely felt like that at times.
Anne Jackson's last post from Haiti is here.
The In-Between
I woke this morning from unsettling dreams again.
I can't pinpoint why this particular set has left me unsettled. I can't even remember most of the images or plot-lines, though the few I recall are more ridiculous than anything else.
But I'm unsettled.
I woke, too, to the thought that I'm now officially tired of transition.
Of this in-between place.
I just want to be moved.
If this move is so clearly what God has next for me, then let's get on with it already.
Wouldn't it be nice if life worked like that? God's guidance became clear, and you just walked on into it.
No period of transition or preparation.
No "in-between."
My life doesn't work like that.
There are lessons, I think, in the "in-between", but I find it a stressful time. It wears on me. The dreams and odd thoughts grow more intense. My tolerance grows shorter, and my mood less patient.
I think the in-between creates a longing that is healthy - a readyness for the new place God is leading, the new season.
But in me, the in-between is also revealing. Revealing of true character. Of flaws and issues left to be resolved.
Lent starts tomorrow.
It's a season of "in-between" built into the yearly church calendar, and a season that always impacts me profoundly.
That long season of waiting for new life, while moving inexorably towards death.
A season that feels like a contradiction in terms.
Apparently I'm going to need to make peace with the in-between.
On the short term, with waiting for moving to be complete, and for the moment of saying goodbye to my roommate, who has become a dear friend in the two years we've lived together.
On the slightly longer term in waiting to find a vehicle.
And on the slightly longer term yet, in waiting for the arrival of Easter.
I'm living in the "in-between" and it's a rather revealing place.
I can't pinpoint why this particular set has left me unsettled. I can't even remember most of the images or plot-lines, though the few I recall are more ridiculous than anything else.
But I'm unsettled.
I woke, too, to the thought that I'm now officially tired of transition.
Of this in-between place.
I just want to be moved.
If this move is so clearly what God has next for me, then let's get on with it already.
Wouldn't it be nice if life worked like that? God's guidance became clear, and you just walked on into it.
No period of transition or preparation.
No "in-between."
My life doesn't work like that.
There are lessons, I think, in the "in-between", but I find it a stressful time. It wears on me. The dreams and odd thoughts grow more intense. My tolerance grows shorter, and my mood less patient.
I think the in-between creates a longing that is healthy - a readyness for the new place God is leading, the new season.
But in me, the in-between is also revealing. Revealing of true character. Of flaws and issues left to be resolved.
Lent starts tomorrow.
It's a season of "in-between" built into the yearly church calendar, and a season that always impacts me profoundly.
That long season of waiting for new life, while moving inexorably towards death.
A season that feels like a contradiction in terms.
Apparently I'm going to need to make peace with the in-between.
On the short term, with waiting for moving to be complete, and for the moment of saying goodbye to my roommate, who has become a dear friend in the two years we've lived together.
On the slightly longer term in waiting to find a vehicle.
And on the slightly longer term yet, in waiting for the arrival of Easter.
I'm living in the "in-between" and it's a rather revealing place.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 187
Today's Daily 5:
- Mountains. Lots of them. And clean fresh air. Without ever having to be the one behind the wheel on at times sketchy winter roads.
- Sat in the hotsprings for a while. My still aching muscles appreciated that greatly
- Loved the British accent of the guy who made my Sri Lankan Chicken Satay pita for lunch today
- Found a birthday gift for a dear friend.
- Loved reading this post at Anne Jackson's blog.
Mountains
I'm heading for the mountains with my aunt and parents today.
A soak in the hotsprings, and time outside of the city, breathing.
Definitely looking forward to it.
A soak in the hotsprings, and time outside of the city, breathing.
Definitely looking forward to it.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 186
Today's Daily 5:
- Seeing the story of Canada's first gold medallist's relationship with his older brother who has cerebral palsy. A beautiful story.
- Surprise engagement party for T & L tonight
- Had a productive morning, cleaning the apartment (it was being shown tonight) and just generally doing some stuff that needed to be done. It felt nice to do that at an unhurried pace.
- Love that I still have one more day of weekend left. Such a needed break at the moment.
- Loving that I can watch the major Canadian olympic coverage via livestream over the internet - meaning I can watch it from bed :)
Valentines Day
I'm single, so Valentine's Day isn't really a big deal in my life. It's just another day. I'm not going to get flowers or chocolates today, except maybe from my grandma, who has a tendency to occasionally deliver a box of ice-cream bars to mom and dad's house on odd "holidays" like Valentine's Day.
But, ever since I was in Rome, returning just before Valentine's, on Valentines Day I always think of being in a strange little church, and seeing the relic of St. Valentine.
I'm a history major, and I know that most relics aren't real. I saw a few different relics while in Europe, including two relics of Paul while in Malta. But here's the catch. I think there's something fascinating in the veneration of relics, of the saints. I don't have well formed opinions, just thoughts, and I am fascinated by the faith and devotion to these things.
I took a few photos of the relic of St. Valentine. I don't have them available for upload to this post, but you can find them in a facebook album here.
But, ever since I was in Rome, returning just before Valentine's, on Valentines Day I always think of being in a strange little church, and seeing the relic of St. Valentine.
I'm a history major, and I know that most relics aren't real. I saw a few different relics while in Europe, including two relics of Paul while in Malta. But here's the catch. I think there's something fascinating in the veneration of relics, of the saints. I don't have well formed opinions, just thoughts, and I am fascinated by the faith and devotion to these things.
I took a few photos of the relic of St. Valentine. I don't have them available for upload to this post, but you can find them in a facebook album here.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 185
Today's Daily 5:
- Moved another load to Grandma's.
- Seeing the painting job in my new room. Even after just the first coat, it's looking WAY better in there.
- Got my errands done too. Second time behind the wheel since the accident. Still pretty stressful, but glad that I can do it without totally freaking out.
- Hung out at mom and dad's watching olympic coverage for a good chunk of the day
- Uploaded some new cd's to my ipod - can't wait to listen
- Saw Canada win our first olympic medal live online, while resting in bed
- Love that I can watch some of the olympic coverage live online - great since I don't have television service in my home
- Enjoyed time with family
- Curly hair
- hummus on toast, with fresh raspberries and blackberries on the side for lunch.
Anne Jackson in Haiti
I've linked to Anne Jackson relatively often lately.
She's in Haiti at the moment, and blogging some incredibly moving stuff.
Check out the latest post here.
She's in Haiti at the moment, and blogging some incredibly moving stuff.
Check out the latest post here.
New Addition to the Reading List
Late last week I finished listening to another audio book. You'll find it listed with the other "reads" of 2010 in my left-hand side bar.
The Big Moo, by Seth Godin et. al. is probably not a book I'd have made it through if I was reading it. But in the audio version, read by Seth Godin, it came to life.
I recommend it, though I'd have to listen to it again to be able to coherently recite the topics. But basically it was a series of chapters, written by a wide variety of authors, around the theme in the sub-title "Stop Trying to be Perfect and Start Being Remarkable." Would I agree with everything I heard? No. But was it challenging information, presented in a very absorbable way, that caused me to think? Yes.
Definitely worth checking out!
The Big Moo, by Seth Godin et. al. is probably not a book I'd have made it through if I was reading it. But in the audio version, read by Seth Godin, it came to life.
I recommend it, though I'd have to listen to it again to be able to coherently recite the topics. But basically it was a series of chapters, written by a wide variety of authors, around the theme in the sub-title "Stop Trying to be Perfect and Start Being Remarkable." Would I agree with everything I heard? No. But was it challenging information, presented in a very absorbable way, that caused me to think? Yes.
Definitely worth checking out!
Grateful
I've been waking up around 5:30 or so for the last several weeks. Not intentionally, it just seems to be when I wake. It is not usually a happy thing.
This morning though, I woke, did some quick calculations, and just felt grateful. I'd slept for 6 straight hours. After a week that contained dreams, a horrific nightmare, and a night where I was awake ill and in immense pain, at 5:30 those six hours felt like an incredible blessing. Especially since I could close my eyes, roll over, and drift in and out of sleep for another couple of hours.
Today I'm moving another load of belongings to my Grandma's house.
While I'm there, I'll check out the paint job. Apparently she loves to paint, and she called me at work yesterday to tell me that the painting is done. I'm a little concerned that she only did one coat, so we'll see, but even if I have to do one more coat, I'm grateful for the help.
Then it'll be on to mom and dad's house, to get a treatment from my mom, hang out and watch some olympic action, and likely borrow a car to accomplish some errands.
A pretty mundane day all in all, but I'm not really sorry for that. It's been a really exhausting few weeks, and there are a few more weeks like that in the works, so I'll be grateful for the slower pace. And, there's maybe even a trip to the mountains in the works for Monday. I would love a little bit of time in the mountains.
So, this morning I'm grateful. For sleep. For a family that is so helpful. And for a much needed long weekend.
This morning though, I woke, did some quick calculations, and just felt grateful. I'd slept for 6 straight hours. After a week that contained dreams, a horrific nightmare, and a night where I was awake ill and in immense pain, at 5:30 those six hours felt like an incredible blessing. Especially since I could close my eyes, roll over, and drift in and out of sleep for another couple of hours.
Today I'm moving another load of belongings to my Grandma's house.
While I'm there, I'll check out the paint job. Apparently she loves to paint, and she called me at work yesterday to tell me that the painting is done. I'm a little concerned that she only did one coat, so we'll see, but even if I have to do one more coat, I'm grateful for the help.
Then it'll be on to mom and dad's house, to get a treatment from my mom, hang out and watch some olympic action, and likely borrow a car to accomplish some errands.
A pretty mundane day all in all, but I'm not really sorry for that. It's been a really exhausting few weeks, and there are a few more weeks like that in the works, so I'll be grateful for the slower pace. And, there's maybe even a trip to the mountains in the works for Monday. I would love a little bit of time in the mountains.
So, this morning I'm grateful. For sleep. For a family that is so helpful. And for a much needed long weekend.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 184
Today's Daily 5:
- newly done fingernails and toenails
- the smell of freshly washed laundry
- a restful evening
- thankful that the painkillers helped
- managing to pack much of the remainder of the living room.
Great Giveaways
The various sites connected to Simple Living Media are giving some good stuff away this week. (Contest closes Saturday.)
Click here for the giveaway post on Simple Bites.
Click here for the giveaway post on Simple Mom.
Click here for the giveaway post on Simple Organic.
I've found some really useful stuff on each of these sites, and I definitely recommend them!
Click here for the giveaway post on Simple Bites.
Click here for the giveaway post on Simple Mom.
Click here for the giveaway post on Simple Organic.
I've found some really useful stuff on each of these sites, and I definitely recommend them!
Slight Improvements
Several hours, an antacid, and a few painkillers later, I'm feeling a little bit better. Still kind of miserable, but better than I felt this morning.
Trouble is that now that the pain adrenaline has faded, two nights of non-sleeping are catching up with me, and I find myself yawning in my office, and maybe even doing the head bob.
I'll stick it out at the office until around 4. Sometime around 4, or shortly before, my parents will pick me up on their way to the airport. It's a beautiful thing that I won't have to take the train tonight.
I'm going to go home, shower, put on my pjs, crawl into bed, and watch Grey's, Private Practice, and see if I can make the live stream of the olympic opening cermonies run on my Mac. Because that would be kind of fun to watch, too.
Less than 2 hours to go!
I'm going to make it!
Trouble is that now that the pain adrenaline has faded, two nights of non-sleeping are catching up with me, and I find myself yawning in my office, and maybe even doing the head bob.
I'll stick it out at the office until around 4. Sometime around 4, or shortly before, my parents will pick me up on their way to the airport. It's a beautiful thing that I won't have to take the train tonight.
I'm going to go home, shower, put on my pjs, crawl into bed, and watch Grey's, Private Practice, and see if I can make the live stream of the olympic opening cermonies run on my Mac. Because that would be kind of fun to watch, too.
Less than 2 hours to go!
I'm going to make it!
Painful
Well, the good news is that I didn't have a repeat showing of yesterday's horrifying dream last night.
The bad news is that I still didn't sleep.
My body has apparently decided that it is drastically opposed to something I ate yesterday, and is manifesting that opposition through incredibly severe indigestion, stomach cramps, nausea, and heartburn. At 2:00 this morning I was in so much pain that I honestly thought that I was going to have to phone my parents, wake them up, and ask them to come get me and drive me to the hospital.
At some point the pain eased off a little and I caught about an hour or two of sleep.
I came into work this morning because there is a major project that needs to go out the door today, and it needed my attention. Thankfully my boss is flexible, and if the pain gets worse it'll be fine to go home, and if not, I've made arrangements to leave slightly early and get a ride home from my parents who are making another airport run and will be in the area about 45 minutes or so before I would traditionally get off work.
I'm still in quite a bit of pain this morning, and at my coffee break I'll be heading to the nearby pharmacy to purchase some form of strong antacid to hopefully bring some relief.
The plan for once I get home tonight is simple. Lay in bed.
Maybe do some things from bed. For sure watch the newest episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. Maybe update my budget. Send a few emails, play a game online. If the antacids really work, and I'm feeling like vertical is an option, I might even pack some more of my living room.
But mostly the plan is to rest.
And be incredibly thankful for a three day weekend.
The bad news is that I still didn't sleep.
My body has apparently decided that it is drastically opposed to something I ate yesterday, and is manifesting that opposition through incredibly severe indigestion, stomach cramps, nausea, and heartburn. At 2:00 this morning I was in so much pain that I honestly thought that I was going to have to phone my parents, wake them up, and ask them to come get me and drive me to the hospital.
At some point the pain eased off a little and I caught about an hour or two of sleep.
I came into work this morning because there is a major project that needs to go out the door today, and it needed my attention. Thankfully my boss is flexible, and if the pain gets worse it'll be fine to go home, and if not, I've made arrangements to leave slightly early and get a ride home from my parents who are making another airport run and will be in the area about 45 minutes or so before I would traditionally get off work.
I'm still in quite a bit of pain this morning, and at my coffee break I'll be heading to the nearby pharmacy to purchase some form of strong antacid to hopefully bring some relief.
The plan for once I get home tonight is simple. Lay in bed.
Maybe do some things from bed. For sure watch the newest episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. Maybe update my budget. Send a few emails, play a game online. If the antacids really work, and I'm feeling like vertical is an option, I might even pack some more of my living room.
But mostly the plan is to rest.
And be incredibly thankful for a three day weekend.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 183
I was wondering earlier tonight if I was going to find anything to write for this list tonight. It was just that kind of day, where the battle to really choose to live joyfully felt like a bit of a losing one. It's amazing how perspective can shift if you're willing to let God work, and if I'm willing to really choose to try to see things differently. It shocks me every time.
Today's Daily 5:
Today's Daily 5:
- I lost my coffee break to an errand for a lunch event I didn't want to attend. I can choose to think about it that way, or I can remember that it was a really sunny, temperate, Chinooking February day, and because of the errand I got in a ten minute walk in the bright sun.
- I accomplished one of the "goals" on my list for the year, and learned how my roommate makes frittata.
- The potluck lunch at work which I was dreading, and in many ways didn't enjoy, had great food. I'm choosing to be thankful for a tasty, free lunch.
- After work I showered and styled my hair curly. I always feel prettier when it's curly, and more like myself, and it was nice to feel that way since home church was tonight.
- Hugs from two friends at home church.
- Sharing just a little about the upcoming transition, and the ongoing health ramifications from my accident, and being prayed for. Honestly, those few minutes, surrounded by some really loving ladies, were the highlight of my day. I pray nearly constantly a lot of days, but I have always found there is something incredibly calming to my spirit when it is hurting, racing, or wounded, in hearing the verbal prayers of someone else for me. It's like it is in those moments that I am able to quiet the other noise, and let my spirit truly receive from God.
- Chatting with a new friend about Haiti, and friend of a friend connections.
- One of my new friends is a midwife who is licensed in the states, and not Canada, and isn't ablet to work as a midwife here, and she was present when her sister gave birth last week. It was fun to see the joy and amazement in her face as she shared her pleasure at being able to witness a birth again.
- Chatting with a friend at work for a bit this afternoon. The day was so rough, and it was nice to just talk about some mundane stuff of life, and not think about the intense stuff for a bit.
- Some encouraging emails and thoughts over the last several days from a dear friend.
How it goes...
This has been a pretty rough day.
I don't even need to close my eyes to be immediately back in the moment mid-dream that I came awake.
It's there, pushing constantly at the edge of my conciousness, demanding attention.
It's been a long time since I had a "dream" experience of this intensity. I dream regularly, nearly daily, and the intensity of those has been building again for the last few weeks, but I haven't seen anything like this in quite some time.
It was horrendously dark.
Different, in many ways, from the other dreams of that nature, in that this time I was clearly protected in the midst of it, but I am still deeply disturbed by what I saw.
In some ways it reinforces my need to take great care in what I watch. Some of what I saw was clearly influenced by a partial documentary on North Korean concentration camps that we watched last week at my house church. I knew that night that watching was a risk, and decided to make that calculated choice.
I woke praying deeply for the country of North Korea as well. It's sort of the problem with being incredibly sensitive to visuals and world events, as well as being an intercessor type.
I can't focus today, with this experience from the wee hours of the morning continually at the edge of my consciousness. It's there, calling for my attention, and as the day has worn on, my prayers have become more exhausted and frantic.
I remain grateful for the protection that existed this time. I felt like myself, but a slightly more courageous and protected version of myself, as I moved among the characters and scenes I was witnessing. Now, at the other end of the day, I still like that version of myself. I would hope to continue to grow into her, helping those in need, not cowed before evil. Aware of the dangers of the moment, and moving carefully, but moving nonetheless, rather than frozen. Drops of cool water for those in need. In that way, at least, I am challenged by the dream, and grateful for it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fearful of going to sleep later tonight, and even fearful of the unpredictability of the house church gathering that I'll attend again today. Wondering if I will see more things that shift again my experience of the spiritual. Wondering if I'll close my eyes as my head rests on the pillow tonight, and be back in the middle of the macabre moment in which I woke. I can witness that. I have the strength to do so. But I'd rather find deep rest and peace.
So I find myself praying, slightly desperately, for the darkness that still feels so near to be pushed back from me. It's an odd prayer, since I am still feeling somewhat protected amidst it, and confident that I will not be harmed. But it's a prayer of wanting room for breathing - space for light to expand.
That's how it goes right now... I'm grateful today's hours of work are nearly over, and that tomorrow is the last day before a long weekend. The break will be refreshing, I hope.
I don't even need to close my eyes to be immediately back in the moment mid-dream that I came awake.
It's there, pushing constantly at the edge of my conciousness, demanding attention.
It's been a long time since I had a "dream" experience of this intensity. I dream regularly, nearly daily, and the intensity of those has been building again for the last few weeks, but I haven't seen anything like this in quite some time.
It was horrendously dark.
Different, in many ways, from the other dreams of that nature, in that this time I was clearly protected in the midst of it, but I am still deeply disturbed by what I saw.
In some ways it reinforces my need to take great care in what I watch. Some of what I saw was clearly influenced by a partial documentary on North Korean concentration camps that we watched last week at my house church. I knew that night that watching was a risk, and decided to make that calculated choice.
I woke praying deeply for the country of North Korea as well. It's sort of the problem with being incredibly sensitive to visuals and world events, as well as being an intercessor type.
I can't focus today, with this experience from the wee hours of the morning continually at the edge of my consciousness. It's there, calling for my attention, and as the day has worn on, my prayers have become more exhausted and frantic.
I remain grateful for the protection that existed this time. I felt like myself, but a slightly more courageous and protected version of myself, as I moved among the characters and scenes I was witnessing. Now, at the other end of the day, I still like that version of myself. I would hope to continue to grow into her, helping those in need, not cowed before evil. Aware of the dangers of the moment, and moving carefully, but moving nonetheless, rather than frozen. Drops of cool water for those in need. In that way, at least, I am challenged by the dream, and grateful for it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fearful of going to sleep later tonight, and even fearful of the unpredictability of the house church gathering that I'll attend again today. Wondering if I will see more things that shift again my experience of the spiritual. Wondering if I'll close my eyes as my head rests on the pillow tonight, and be back in the middle of the macabre moment in which I woke. I can witness that. I have the strength to do so. But I'd rather find deep rest and peace.
So I find myself praying, slightly desperately, for the darkness that still feels so near to be pushed back from me. It's an odd prayer, since I am still feeling somewhat protected amidst it, and confident that I will not be harmed. But it's a prayer of wanting room for breathing - space for light to expand.
That's how it goes right now... I'm grateful today's hours of work are nearly over, and that tomorrow is the last day before a long weekend. The break will be refreshing, I hope.
When you run out of things to blog about...
(I "stole" this from Dana.)
Bold the ones that make you happy or smile.
1. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
2. Completing a successful project with a good friend.
3. Lying in bed and listening to the rain outside.
4. A bubble bath.
5. Seeing someone you love do something outstanding.
6. Making the winning score.
7. Being told you did an excellent job by your peers.
8. Sledding down a hill during a big snow storm.
9. Hitting the winning run in the bottom of the ninth.
10. Running your best time.
11. Hugging your dad or mom.
12. When your sibling says they love you.
13. When your dog jumps around because it’s happy to see you.
14. Finishing a good book.
15. Having flowers sent to you.
16. A clear day at the beach.
17. An unexpected present.
18. A surprise visit from a friend.
19. Seeing a falling star.
20. A beautiful sunset.
21. Finding a nest of baby bunnies.
22. Listening to music.
23. Solving a problem.
24. A hot air balloon ride.
25. Your favorite meal.
26. A new hobby.
27. A long distance call from a friend.
28. A hug.
29. Eating pizza.
30. A long, hot shower.
31. A spider web with dew on it in the early morning sun.
32. Reading under an electric blanket on a cold, rainy day.
33. Getting your driver’s license.
34. Having your face licked by a puppy.
35. A wedding.
36. A newborn baby.
37. Swimming the last lap.
38. Christmas carols.
39. Good grades.
40. Giving someone something they’ve always wanted.
41. Your team winning.
42. Watching a child open presents.
43. New pencils, supplies, and clothes on the first day of school.
44. Your first solo bike ride.
45. Chili dogs.
46. A kitten.
47. Climbing trees.
48. Watching the moon.
49. Running in the autumn leaves.
50. Relaxing with Saturday morning cartoons.
51. Playing the piano.
52. Sailing.
53. Dancing.
54. Fixing something that’s been broken.
55. Creavitity.
56. Football.
57. Slumber parties.
58. Friends.
59. Having someone tell you their most valuable secrets.
60. Colors.
61. Frisbees.
62. Being appreciated.
63. The first week of school.
64. The last week of school.
65. A great idea.
66. Plunging your hot body into a cool pool.
67. A thunderstorm.
68. Making someone laugh.
69. Walking on the beach.
70. Decorating a Christmaschanukah bush.
71. A job well done.
72. The quiet after a snow fall.
73. Making someone smile.
74. Singing.
75. A letter from a friend.
76. Hearing someone say, “I love you”.
77. Holding hands.
78. The first spring flower.
79. Loving yourself.
81. Breakfast in bed.
82. Snuggling.
83. The soft skin of a baby.
84. Having a wish come true.
85. Driving for the first time in your first car.
86. Getting an A on a test you thought you failed.
87. Finding out your crush likes you back.
88. Your first paycheck.
89. Your pet coming in your bed to sleep with you.
90. Getting a gift you’ve always wanted.
91. Riding a horse.
92. Riding on a Ferris wheel.
93. Rollercoasters.
94. Making something outstanding.
95. Walking on a cool autumn day.
96. Having a three hour long phone conversation with a best friend.
97. Having your plans turn out perfect.
98. Seeing your favorite item on sale for extremely cheap.
99. Being around optimistic people.
100. Seeing someone smile when they see you.
Bold the ones that make you happy or smile.
1. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
2. Completing a successful project with a good friend.
3. Lying in bed and listening to the rain outside.
4. A bubble bath.
5. Seeing someone you love do something outstanding.
6. Making the winning score.
7. Being told you did an excellent job by your peers.
8. Sledding down a hill during a big snow storm.
9. Hitting the winning run in the bottom of the ninth.
10. Running your best time.
11. Hugging your dad or mom.
12. When your sibling says they love you.
13. When your dog jumps around because it’s happy to see you.
14. Finishing a good book.
15. Having flowers sent to you.
16. A clear day at the beach.
17. An unexpected present.
18. A surprise visit from a friend.
19. Seeing a falling star.
20. A beautiful sunset.
21. Finding a nest of baby bunnies.
22. Listening to music.
23. Solving a problem.
24. A hot air balloon ride.
25. Your favorite meal.
26. A new hobby.
27. A long distance call from a friend.
28. A hug.
29. Eating pizza.
30. A long, hot shower.
31. A spider web with dew on it in the early morning sun.
32. Reading under an electric blanket on a cold, rainy day.
33. Getting your driver’s license.
34. Having your face licked by a puppy.
35. A wedding.
36. A newborn baby.
37. Swimming the last lap.
38. Christmas carols.
39. Good grades.
40. Giving someone something they’ve always wanted.
41. Your team winning.
42. Watching a child open presents.
43. New pencils, supplies, and clothes on the first day of school.
44. Your first solo bike ride.
45. Chili dogs.
46. A kitten.
47. Climbing trees.
48. Watching the moon.
49. Running in the autumn leaves.
50. Relaxing with Saturday morning cartoons.
51. Playing the piano.
52. Sailing.
53. Dancing.
54. Fixing something that’s been broken.
55. Creavitity.
56. Football.
57. Slumber parties.
58. Friends.
59. Having someone tell you their most valuable secrets.
60. Colors.
61. Frisbees.
62. Being appreciated.
63. The first week of school.
64. The last week of school.
65. A great idea.
66. Plunging your hot body into a cool pool.
67. A thunderstorm.
68. Making someone laugh.
69. Walking on the beach.
70. Decorating a Christmaschanukah bush.
71. A job well done.
72. The quiet after a snow fall.
73. Making someone smile.
74. Singing.
75. A letter from a friend.
76. Hearing someone say, “I love you”.
77. Holding hands.
78. The first spring flower.
79. Loving yourself.
81. Breakfast in bed.
82. Snuggling.
83. The soft skin of a baby.
84. Having a wish come true.
85. Driving for the first time in your first car.
86. Getting an A on a test you thought you failed.
87. Finding out your crush likes you back.
88. Your first paycheck.
89. Your pet coming in your bed to sleep with you.
90. Getting a gift you’ve always wanted.
91. Riding a horse.
92. Riding on a Ferris wheel.
93. Rollercoasters.
94. Making something outstanding.
95. Walking on a cool autumn day.
96. Having a three hour long phone conversation with a best friend.
97. Having your plans turn out perfect.
98. Seeing your favorite item on sale for extremely cheap.
99. Being around optimistic people.
100. Seeing someone smile when they see you.
And Exhale
Last night was brutal.
The dreams were intense, and vivid, and quite frankly, nightmarish in quality.
That type of night does nothing for easing the aching muscles I'm still struggling with.
Today will be long.
I lose my coffee break to a must be done errand, and my lunch hour to a potluck I'd rather not participate in.
Then home via the train, and out to house church.
Right now I'm not feeling like I'm going to make it.
But somehow I will.
The dreams were intense, and vivid, and quite frankly, nightmarish in quality.
That type of night does nothing for easing the aching muscles I'm still struggling with.
Today will be long.
I lose my coffee break to a must be done errand, and my lunch hour to a potluck I'd rather not participate in.
Then home via the train, and out to house church.
Right now I'm not feeling like I'm going to make it.
But somehow I will.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 182
Today's Daily 5:
- Got a ride home from work tonight
- Mom fed me supper
- One day closer to the weekend
- Laughing with my roommate, L. tonight, over some events of the day, and recognizing together the not always totally obvious differences that a few years of life experience form. We were discussing some friends who are several years younger than us, and laughing as we realized the not always noticeable differences in being in the mid-late twenties, instead of the very early twenties.
- Glad to come home to a comfortable bed. So exhausted tonight, and it was such a relief to just crawl into my pajamas and bed.
Wednesday Afternoon Thoughts
This day, much like yesterday, is dragging.
Maybe it's that I'm tired. Or simply distracted by the many whirling fields that comprise my life right now.
But I can't focus.
Almost at all.
And today, my shoulder is throbbing.
I'm wondering if it should still hurt like this, two weeks after the accident, when it was assessed as having no major damage?
Today chococlate is not only a good friend, but a necessity.
And yet, I'm thankful.
My dad just called, and he is in the area, and offered me a ride home from work tonight.
A break from the train will be nice.
And, tonight I'm going shopping with T & L and the rest of their local bridal party members. Finding bridesmaid dresses for all of us is on the agenda for the evening, and knowing T & L, and some of the other bridal party members, laughter will the first order of business. I'm also fairly confident that good taste will rule the day. Wasn't it sweet of my brother to find me a sister who won't dress me in some unfortunate shade like puce, in an attempt to shine more brightly herself?
And with that, I'm off to finish the last few tasks for the day.
And remind myself continually that I can be thankful for a ride home, and family that loves me.
Even when my shoulder throbs uncontrollably.
Maybe it's that I'm tired. Or simply distracted by the many whirling fields that comprise my life right now.
But I can't focus.
Almost at all.
And today, my shoulder is throbbing.
I'm wondering if it should still hurt like this, two weeks after the accident, when it was assessed as having no major damage?
Today chococlate is not only a good friend, but a necessity.
And yet, I'm thankful.
My dad just called, and he is in the area, and offered me a ride home from work tonight.
A break from the train will be nice.
And, tonight I'm going shopping with T & L and the rest of their local bridal party members. Finding bridesmaid dresses for all of us is on the agenda for the evening, and knowing T & L, and some of the other bridal party members, laughter will the first order of business. I'm also fairly confident that good taste will rule the day. Wasn't it sweet of my brother to find me a sister who won't dress me in some unfortunate shade like puce, in an attempt to shine more brightly herself?
And with that, I'm off to finish the last few tasks for the day.
And remind myself continually that I can be thankful for a ride home, and family that loves me.
Even when my shoulder throbs uncontrollably.
Understand, Just a Little
I'll share more at some point soon, but I had an epiphany sort of moment on the train on the way home from work yesterday.
Yesterday was a rough day, and I was just glad to be leaving the office and heading for home and rest.
But Jesus met me as I listened to a sermon.
I understand now, just a little, this space I'm presently occupying. And with that understanding comes a certain amount of peace.
Yesterday was a rough day, and I was just glad to be leaving the office and heading for home and rest.
But Jesus met me as I listened to a sermon.
I understand now, just a little, this space I'm presently occupying. And with that understanding comes a certain amount of peace.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 181
Today's Daily 5:
- Payroll (which was far more complicated than usual this time) went smoothly this morning
- Made a new recipe (part of the 2 new recipes a month goal) for supper tonight. Couscous stuffed peppers. photos to come...
- Had a rather profound moment of realization, and meeting God on the train/walk home from work tonight, while listening to a sermon preached by Shane Hipps
- Quiet evening, and time to write about the things that so struck me
- my roommate helped me straighten my hair tonight. First time since the accident I've done that. My injured shoulders won't let me hold my arms up in the manner that the straightener requires for very long, and L. was willing to help when I asked. Grateful for that... will be nice to not have to pull my hair back for work tomorrow.
A few links
A few blog posts worth reading today:
Anne Jackson's latest post, as she prepares to join a team headed for Haiti later this week.
I also loved the latest story at Claudia Mair Burney's blog.
Anne Jackson's latest post, as she prepares to join a team headed for Haiti later this week.
I also loved the latest story at Claudia Mair Burney's blog.
Paint Shopping with Grandma
(Disclaimer: I love my Grandma dearly, but we are about as opposite in personality as two human beings can be, and events like the ones I'm about to describe leave me humored, and perhaps slightly bewildered by and at those differences.)
As I've mentioned before, at the end of this month, I'm moving into a large room in my Grandma's basement. There are lots of reasons for this particular move, at this particular time in my life, and lots of angst to go with it. (After all, who moves in with their 80 year old grandparent after several years of independent, parent-free living?)
The particular room I'm moving into has one tiny window. It's definitely not up to any current construction code. One tiny, ground level window, maybe two feet high by four feet wide. Up near the ceiling.
The room itself is done in wood panelling. Dark mahogany colored wood panelling.
Now I'm a girl who prefers mood lighting - candles, small reading lamps, that sort of thing, but the thought of spending the next six months or more of my life in a a room with dark pannelled walls and only one tiny window was daunting even for me. So I asked if I could paint the pannelling - lighten it up in there a bit.
Grandma was amenable to the idea of painting, but, since it was her house, clearly was in charge of color choices.
Last night after work, we went paint shopping.
Paint shopping with my Grandma, it turns out, is a lengthy and arduous task.
It took three stores, and two hours, to buy 2 gallons of paint.
After assuring her that no, I didn't need to go grocery shopping, and no, I didn't need any dinner, the first stop was Walmart. Not exactly the first place that comes to mind for buying supplies for a large painting project, but this was Grandma's deal, and I was just along for the ride, and to offer some opinions on the color of the future room I'd be living in.
So, Walmart it was. We found the paint department, picked a color, and waited. And waited. And waited. Then I waited with the cart for the next 15 minutes, while Grandma wandered the store, trying to find an employee to help us, and even having one paged to the department. No one showed up.
Time to move on.
I told Grandma that my aunt (her daughter) who does lots of decorating projects had recommended a paint product from Home Depot, that was a combination of paint and primer in one, thus requiring less coats to finish the task. (My aunt was pretty sure that this product was a Home Depot exclusive.) Grandma liked this idea of paint and primer in one.
Her reasoning however, is that if Home Depot carried it, Rona must too. And hey - Rona was at the opposite end of the Walmart parking lot.
So, off to Rona it was.
In the meantime, Grandma was regaling me with the story of a former neighbor girl who is now no longer a neighbor girl, whose dad always wanted to move back to the neighborhood he grew up in, which is the neighborhood that my parents live in, and how she and her brother used to come to church, but her brother stopped coming, and so now she still comes on her own, and recently she a "little friend" with her.
You got that? Yeah, I wasn't following either, nor was I particularly certain what this conversation had to do with me, since I've never met said neighbor girl, and I'm not likely to. But hey, this is a pretty par for the course conversation with my Grandma, and as long as she's telling me about a random stranger, she's not asking nosy questions about the details of my life, ready for broadcast along the family grapevine she so deftly controls!
I also now know all about the family of the nanny to the three little boys that my grandma picks up from school every day. I didn't actually know she picked up kids from school, but now I know all about their nanny, and her husband and children, and how she brought them over from points unknown just before Christmas, and the children are working at various places, possibly including either Starbucks or Tim Hortons. What I'm not clear on is why my grandma drives the children home from school every day if there is a nanny in the picture. I tried asking, but the details got more convoluted the longer we talked, and I gave up after a while.
So we were at Rona, where we again found the paint department, again picked a color, and then approached the nice guy manning the paint counter. Turns out that the product is, in fact, exclusive to Home Depot, and we would save money by going there and buying it, because we'd need less paint, and less coats.
That didn't stop Grandma from sharing the entire story of why we were looking for paint in the first place with the nice guy behind the desk. It's slightly awkward to be standing next to your grandmother in the home renovation store, while she tells the guy who is approximately your age that her grandaughter is moving in with her, but the room was very dark and so I'd asked if I could paint.
Also, it turns out, that logical thinking is not one of Grandma's strongest suits. It took me quite a while to help her understand that we would have to buy less buckets of paint if we went to Home Depot, but eventually I managed.
As we left the paint counter, the story (which I'd really thought had reached it's conclusion) picked up again. "So, I was telling you about this little girl..."
We made the trip to Home Depot, and here's where you get the next insight into my quirky Grandma. It's about a five minute drive from Rona to Home Depot, down one semi-major road.
Except that Grandma only learned to drive in her fifties (which granted, means that she has 30 years of driving experience now), and she basically doesn't drive on roads that have a speed limit of over 50 km/hour. It took us 15 minutes or so to get to Home Depot, with her chatting to me the whole way.
Once at Home Depot, we repeated the process of picking a color. Twice. Turns out the first color we picked is actually not available in the paint/primer combo we were after. After four rounds of gently convincing Grandma that lighter was definitely better when it came to a paint color choice for the room, we officially settled on "natural almond". Not as light as would have been my preference (I'd have gone white, personally), but definitely much lighter than some of the ones that immediately caught Grandma's eye.
This paint counter representative was, thankfully, spared the life story. However, I did step in again, to make sure we had the right kind of roller for applying the paint. Because Grandma was telling the paint lady that the pannelling was quite smooth, and, having run my hands over it that very night, I knew that that wasn't the case. We bought a roller for "semi-rough" surfaces and got out of there with minimal extra conversation.
All that was left was to get me home. This, because of the aformentioned driving restrictions, was another 15 minute process (for a 5 minute distance.)
I walked in the door, my roommate (who lived with my Grandma for about a month, before moving in with me two years ago) took a look at me, and at the clock, and simply commented, "Your grandma was chatty tonight, huh?"
Understatement of the century.
Two hours, three stores, and two gallons of paint later, I'm hoping to recover before I have to spend the weekend in close quarters with her, painting the rooms!
As I've mentioned before, at the end of this month, I'm moving into a large room in my Grandma's basement. There are lots of reasons for this particular move, at this particular time in my life, and lots of angst to go with it. (After all, who moves in with their 80 year old grandparent after several years of independent, parent-free living?)
The particular room I'm moving into has one tiny window. It's definitely not up to any current construction code. One tiny, ground level window, maybe two feet high by four feet wide. Up near the ceiling.
The room itself is done in wood panelling. Dark mahogany colored wood panelling.
Now I'm a girl who prefers mood lighting - candles, small reading lamps, that sort of thing, but the thought of spending the next six months or more of my life in a a room with dark pannelled walls and only one tiny window was daunting even for me. So I asked if I could paint the pannelling - lighten it up in there a bit.
Grandma was amenable to the idea of painting, but, since it was her house, clearly was in charge of color choices.
Last night after work, we went paint shopping.
Paint shopping with my Grandma, it turns out, is a lengthy and arduous task.
It took three stores, and two hours, to buy 2 gallons of paint.
After assuring her that no, I didn't need to go grocery shopping, and no, I didn't need any dinner, the first stop was Walmart. Not exactly the first place that comes to mind for buying supplies for a large painting project, but this was Grandma's deal, and I was just along for the ride, and to offer some opinions on the color of the future room I'd be living in.
So, Walmart it was. We found the paint department, picked a color, and waited. And waited. And waited. Then I waited with the cart for the next 15 minutes, while Grandma wandered the store, trying to find an employee to help us, and even having one paged to the department. No one showed up.
Time to move on.
I told Grandma that my aunt (her daughter) who does lots of decorating projects had recommended a paint product from Home Depot, that was a combination of paint and primer in one, thus requiring less coats to finish the task. (My aunt was pretty sure that this product was a Home Depot exclusive.) Grandma liked this idea of paint and primer in one.
Her reasoning however, is that if Home Depot carried it, Rona must too. And hey - Rona was at the opposite end of the Walmart parking lot.
So, off to Rona it was.
In the meantime, Grandma was regaling me with the story of a former neighbor girl who is now no longer a neighbor girl, whose dad always wanted to move back to the neighborhood he grew up in, which is the neighborhood that my parents live in, and how she and her brother used to come to church, but her brother stopped coming, and so now she still comes on her own, and recently she a "little friend" with her.
You got that? Yeah, I wasn't following either, nor was I particularly certain what this conversation had to do with me, since I've never met said neighbor girl, and I'm not likely to. But hey, this is a pretty par for the course conversation with my Grandma, and as long as she's telling me about a random stranger, she's not asking nosy questions about the details of my life, ready for broadcast along the family grapevine she so deftly controls!
I also now know all about the family of the nanny to the three little boys that my grandma picks up from school every day. I didn't actually know she picked up kids from school, but now I know all about their nanny, and her husband and children, and how she brought them over from points unknown just before Christmas, and the children are working at various places, possibly including either Starbucks or Tim Hortons. What I'm not clear on is why my grandma drives the children home from school every day if there is a nanny in the picture. I tried asking, but the details got more convoluted the longer we talked, and I gave up after a while.
So we were at Rona, where we again found the paint department, again picked a color, and then approached the nice guy manning the paint counter. Turns out that the product is, in fact, exclusive to Home Depot, and we would save money by going there and buying it, because we'd need less paint, and less coats.
That didn't stop Grandma from sharing the entire story of why we were looking for paint in the first place with the nice guy behind the desk. It's slightly awkward to be standing next to your grandmother in the home renovation store, while she tells the guy who is approximately your age that her grandaughter is moving in with her, but the room was very dark and so I'd asked if I could paint.
Also, it turns out, that logical thinking is not one of Grandma's strongest suits. It took me quite a while to help her understand that we would have to buy less buckets of paint if we went to Home Depot, but eventually I managed.
As we left the paint counter, the story (which I'd really thought had reached it's conclusion) picked up again. "So, I was telling you about this little girl..."
We made the trip to Home Depot, and here's where you get the next insight into my quirky Grandma. It's about a five minute drive from Rona to Home Depot, down one semi-major road.
Except that Grandma only learned to drive in her fifties (which granted, means that she has 30 years of driving experience now), and she basically doesn't drive on roads that have a speed limit of over 50 km/hour. It took us 15 minutes or so to get to Home Depot, with her chatting to me the whole way.
Once at Home Depot, we repeated the process of picking a color. Twice. Turns out the first color we picked is actually not available in the paint/primer combo we were after. After four rounds of gently convincing Grandma that lighter was definitely better when it came to a paint color choice for the room, we officially settled on "natural almond". Not as light as would have been my preference (I'd have gone white, personally), but definitely much lighter than some of the ones that immediately caught Grandma's eye.
This paint counter representative was, thankfully, spared the life story. However, I did step in again, to make sure we had the right kind of roller for applying the paint. Because Grandma was telling the paint lady that the pannelling was quite smooth, and, having run my hands over it that very night, I knew that that wasn't the case. We bought a roller for "semi-rough" surfaces and got out of there with minimal extra conversation.
All that was left was to get me home. This, because of the aformentioned driving restrictions, was another 15 minute process (for a 5 minute distance.)
I walked in the door, my roommate (who lived with my Grandma for about a month, before moving in with me two years ago) took a look at me, and at the clock, and simply commented, "Your grandma was chatty tonight, huh?"
Understatement of the century.
Two hours, three stores, and two gallons of paint later, I'm hoping to recover before I have to spend the weekend in close quarters with her, painting the rooms!
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